Beautifully_Broken
I Can't Believe It's So Close
Mar 14, 2008
03-15-08
Whew! I start my liquid fast on Tuesday. The time is flying by. I had my pre-op class on the 12th. It was very informative. I got to meet the two other people scheduled for their surgeries on the same day as me. I am the third surgery of the day. I don't know if this is good or not? It would seem like Dr. Gluck would be tired by the time he gets around to me. I guess I am thankful that I don't have to be there until 10:00 AM for a 12:00 PM surgery because I live two hours away and I am not a morning person.
My daughter went with me to the pre-op and I think it helped her to get information on what would be happening pre-op and after. After the class I met with Dr. Gluck and he helped ease some of her fears. I know she is still worried but I am totally at peace with my decision. Dr. Gluck told her that WLS patients average an extra 15 years of life. This brought tears to my eyes because it was just another confirmation to me that the bible verse God gave me was indeed meant to give me peace about my decision.
Thank you Lord and give me strength to succeed.
Come Monday
Feb 29, 2008
Well I guess it is time to buckle down and get prepared for surgery. I have not been doing a very good job of meeting the pre-op goals that I set for myself. Mainly I guess because I had it in my mind that surgery wouldn't be taking place until late May. So now it is time. I want to get on a regular exercise routine and I need to stop drinking diet Coke. My surgeon didn't say that I have to lose any weight before surgery though he certainley doesn't want his patients to gain but I was thinking I would do South Beach until my liquid fast just to help things along the way and to reinitiate some discipline.
I was thinking about the whole last supper idea and originally thought that I would like a big juicy steak and some crab legs but the more I think about it, the more I realize I have had way too many last suppers over the years...I can't continue to eat like there won't ever be another meal. So for now I don't think I will overindulge in any particular foods but that's me today. A coworker promised me some of her "Grandma's Beans"...yummy...those might be hard to pass up. She brought them to our Christmas Party last year and oh my were they delicious.
So come Monday I buckle down and take another step toward healthiness.
I Have a Surgery Date
Feb 27, 2008
02-25-08
I received the call I have been waiting for! My surgery is April 1st. Yes! April Fool's Day. That is rather appropriate seeing as the devil doesn't want me to have victory. Well, the joke is on him.
My pre-op teaching will be on Wednesday, March 12th. It is three hours long...jeeze! Shortly after that I will have to begin my two week liquid fast. I am praying I can do it.
I can't believe how long it seems like I waited for that phone call and yet I just began the whole process in January.
God is so good.
Prayers and Promises
Feb 20, 2008
02-21-08
Prayer For Those Who Are Tired of Waiting
Dear Father, I pray for (my OH companions) and others in my circle of family and friends who are growing discouraged...When they feel as if they wait and watch and nothing happens— nothing changes—they grow discouraged. They may feel like the prophet who cried out, How long must I call for help, before You listen? Help them not to give up, to keep watching for Your answers, to be willing to keep on praying. (Habakkuk 1:2a; 2:1; Luke 18:1–5)
Help them be determined to rejoice in You no matter what's happening in their lives, to be joyful in You, their Savior, no matter how hard things are or how tired they are. Be their strength! (Habakkuk 3:17–19a)
Give them faith strong enough to wait on You as Abraham, David, and Joseph did. Help them not to lose their confidence in You and Your faithfulness, to know they will see how good You are. Help them turn to You as the One who sustains them. (Genesis 17:19; 21:2, 5; 1 Samuel 16:13; 2 Samuel 2:4a; Genesis 37:2a; 41:46a; Psalm 54:4)
Help them put their hope in Your Word and all it tells them about You. Help them trust in the wonder of Your great love. (Psalm 130:5; 17:7a)
In Jesus' name, amen.
Jim & Kaye Johns | Source: "Prayers for the Moment: One-Minute Scripture Prayers" Copyright September 2006. Reprinted with permission of B&H Publishing Group
Show Me The Path to Health
Dear God,
I admit that I have come to both love
and hate the word "diet."
On the one hand, it represents hope for change.
On the other, it's like a sign flashing "Failure ahead!"
I don't want to embark on another faulty plan, Lord.
I want to embark on a journey with You
that is led by You and depends on Your power.
I can do nothing on my own!
Show me the path that will enable me to change.
Show me, as only You can,
what works for me, what is healthy for me.
I want to think of this venture in positive terms, Lord --
not that I am signing up to be miserable or in want.
I want to learn to feed my body what it truly needs when it truly needs it.
And to feed my soul with the Bread of Life -- You!
Today I place my future, my failures, my setbacks,
all of my hopes and plans into Your hands.
There alone will I find meaning
and true success in my life.
Amen.
Heather Kopp | Source: "The Dieter's Prayer Book" © 2000 by Heather Harpham Kopp. Used by permission of Waterbrook Press.
Prayer to Resist Overeating
Dear God,
right now, I surrender to You
my temptation to binge,
to rebel, to misuse the food
You've blessed me with.
Fill me instead
with Your Spirit and grace
and grant me the power
and will to STOP indulging
when I am no longer hungry.
Thank You that, by Your Spirit, within me,
I have the ability to resist
the urge to overeat today. Amen.
Heather Kopp | Source: "The Dieter's Prayer Book" © 2000 by Heather Harpham Kopp. Used by permission of Waterbrook Press.
Prayer For Those Coping With Depression
Dear Lord, you are our refuge in good and in bad times. In your infinite mercy, bring peace and comfort to those of us who face days sometimes filled with pain and depression. Help us to realize that through you there is joy and the promise of lasting peace. Help us through the rough times. Walk before and beside us so that we may walk in your footsteps and reach out to you in our journey on this earth. Help us to focus on our blessings rather than our misfortunes, dear Lord. Thank you for hearing and answering our prayers. Amen
Beliefnet member gfry | Source: Beliefnet prayer circle
To Be Free From Worry
Father, I'm praying that (my OH companions) and others in my circle of family and friends will be free from worry...
Help them not worry when things don't go the way they expect. Jesus said we're not to fret, not to worry, not to let our hearts be troubled or afraid. He said we're to trust in You— and also in Him. May it be so in their lives and ministry, no matter how impossible things seem. (John 14:1, 27b)
Keep them from worrying about tomorrow, for each day has enough trouble of its own. When such trouble comes, help them to cast all their anxiety on Christ because He cares for them. (Matthew 6:34; 1 Peter 5:7)
Help them not to be anxious about anything but to pray about everything with thanksgiving—for when they do, You'll give them Your peace that surpasses their understanding, and such peace guards their hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6–7)
Keep their minds steadfast in trusting You, and give them Your perfect peace. May they turn to the Lord of Peace who will give them peace at all times, in every way. (Isaiah 26:3; 2 Thessalonians 3:16)
Help them leave every worry at Your feet where it belongs.
In Jesus' name, amen.
Jim & Kaye Johns | Source: "Prayers for the Moment: One-Minute Scripture Prayers" Copyright September 2006. Reprinted with permission of B&H Publishing Group
Prayer For Those Facing Surgery
O Lord, as I face surgery,
You know what my fears and worries are.
Please guide my heart and soul to trust in you,
to know that you are at my side and pouring your
protection upon me,
even through the darkest valley.
Maureen Pratt | Source: Copyright (c) 2005 by Maureen Pratt. From "Peace in the Storm: Meditations on Chronic Pain and Illness" by Maureen Pratt, published by Doubleday, a division of Random House, Inc. Reprinted with permission.
Thank Your For My Life
Dear God, thank you for my life on this earth, however challenging or not.
Thank you for giving me free will to love and be loved, to make my own decisions, to learn from my mistakes, to laugh when I am happy, to cry when I am sad.
Thank you for my family, my friends, my pets, my colleagues, and for every other living creature I meet along my journey.
Thank you for giving me strength to overcome adversity, to do what's right for the benefit of the greater good, to rise above negativity.
Thank you for giving me hope for an end to world suffering, pain, and war, for a beginning of a world filled with light and everlasting love.
Debbie Gisonni | Source: Excerpted from "Vita's Will" by permission of the author. Visit Debbie Gisonni's website. A Prayer For Healing Emotional Pain Father, I'm praying for (my OH companions) and others in my circle of family or friends in need of Your healing touch for their hurting hearts...
Some of them have received emotional wounds, some of them severe. Help them be willing to let you heal those hurts so they won't become increasingly destructive over time, for You are the Lord who heals. (Exodus 15:26)
I come to You with the same spirit of helplessness and dependence that Moses had when he was leading Your people through the desert. They came to water, but it was bitter and the people had nothing to drink. Moses cried out to You, and You showed him a piece of wood; when he threw it into the water, the water became sweet. I'm now coming on behalf of these who are carrying emotional pain. In my heart I bring the wood of the cross, asking that Christ, who heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds, would bring healing to any bitterness He finds in their hearts. (Exodus 15:23–25; Psalm 147:3; Jeremiah 8:22)
No matter what pain they've suffered, help them not to give into anger, resentment, unforgiveness, or bitterness and become captive to sin. May their hearts not become calloused or hard, but refresh them in Christ. May they not lose heart but be inwardly renewed day by day. (Acts 8:23; Matthew 13:15; Psalm 95:8; Philemon 20; 2 Corinthians 4:16)
In Jesus' name, amen.
Jim & Kaye Johns | Source: "Prayers for the Moment: One-Minute Scripture Prayers" Copyright September 2006. Reprinted with permission of B&H Publishing Group
My Statistics
Feb 20, 2008
|
My Current Statistics |
February 2008 |
Change From Last Month |
|
Weight |
307.6 |
|
|
BMI |
46.8 |
|
|
Head |
22 ¼ |
|
|
Neck |
15 ½ |
|
|
Upper Arm |
20 |
|
|
Chest (above breasts) |
50 ½ |
|
|
Chest (under breasts) |
49 |
|
|
Forearm |
12 ¼ |
|
|
Wrist |
7 |
|
|
Waist |
52 ½ |
|
|
Hips |
60 ½ |
|
|
Upper Leg |
28 |
|
|
Knee |
19 ½ |
|
|
Calf |
18 ¼ |
|
|
Ankle |
9 ¾ |
|
|
Pant Size |
26/28 |
|
|
Shirt Size |
3X/4X 26/28 & 30/32 |
|
|
Shoe Size |
11W & 12W |
|
|
Attitude |
Optimistic…waiting is hard |
|
|
Challenge |
Avoiding “Last Supper” mind set |
I am hoping by posting this it will make me accountable and I will see a change at least in my weight by next month. I simply can not keep eating like tomorrow will never come!
Self Improvement Quote
Feb 19, 2008
"People seldom improve when they have no other model but themselves to copy after."
--Oliver Goldsmith
Thanks to all of of you for modeling what I can achieve.
Prayer of Protection
Feb 19, 2008
02-19-08
The light of God surrounds me.
The love of God enfolds me.
The power of God protects me.
The presence of God watches over me.
Wherever I am, God is.
I am taking this prayer into surgery with me. AMEN.
It's Right Around the Corner
Feb 18, 2008
I called the doctor's office this morning and was told that my file has been given to the doctor for his final review. That has to mean that I passed the psych eval....yahoo! The receptionist told me that once the doctor looks it over he will pass it on to the surgery scheduler and they will call me. Awesome news.
Waiting is the Hardest Part
Feb 18, 2008
I am still waiting for a call about my surgery date. It has been almost two weeks since my psych evaluation so it should be soon. I have been praying that the timing of it will be according to God's timetable so I have to be patient. In the mean time I am trying to prepare for all the emotional stuff so that I don't get blind sided. I have struggled with depression for years though I am no longer on medication for it. I know that this is a major life change that comes with a lot of adustment and this waiting is giving me time to prepare so for that I am thankful.
Today I posted a question about men and their responses to us pre and post op. It was nice having other people confirm the same feelings that I have and also shedding a new light on it as well. I learned that there are some things I need to let go of like bitterness and hurts. I am praising God he is healing me from the inside out. If I didn't have a personal relationship with Jesus there is no way I could face this journey.
About Me
Before & After
rollover to see after photo
