Bobbie Smith

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Well it has been a while since I have posted on here, been working a lot since I have felt like a new person and the good thing is I work circles around the young ones at work!!!! This old lady has some strenghth! haha..... I am 4lbs from onederland....so in a year I have lost 130 pounds! Have had my issues over the last year and there are still times that I wonder why the hell I did this surgery, but those are the days that my pouch thinks food sucks wind and my head thinks I am still 334 plus pounds.... I now shop in regular stores for regular sizes and can wear some of my daughters clothes. Anyway looking forward to talking to you all soon

Well been really sick this month with a cold and some issues with the ticker they still are not sure what that is all about. Going back to the dr on Monday for another listen to it and then they will decide what to do from there. Personally just send me to the wizard of Oz he can give me a heart and I can be on my way back in no time hehe....Been a pretty cold winter and today is no diffrent it was 3 degrees in the early morning hours and believe me my house felt it all.... it was COLD!!!!!! Anyway hope you are all doing great!

My face... my face is actually well pretty I never thought I would say that about myself.. but now that the fat is melting away I see a pretty face under that. My arms look like I should run around humming the bat man theme Na na na na na na na na BATMAN with the batwings that are forming...my "girls" well lets just say that going from a 50DDD to a 46DD and still losing has kinda made them go south...I have a defined buttocks now instead of an area that was suppose to be my butt running directly into an area that was suppose to be my leg.....I bought GIRL shoes not mens shoes but girl you know pretty lady shoes my first pair in years and they fit!!!!!!!

This journey we are on sometimes feels as if we are on it alone even though we know we arent I mean HELLLLLOOO look at the web site and all the people on here that have had surgery. Makes me wonder how they made it sometimes. You know there are times when I want to look at my DH and say wake the heck up and listen to me and not listen at me.....or better yet just let me talk things out and DO NOT TRY TO FIX THEM there is nothing for you to fix I just need to talk.... but he doesnt get that either.....Moving up here to Missouri I left behind all my friends and then I moved to a small town that doe not really accept new people even when you are nice and all but I have all you and for that thank you

I know I havent posted in a while but with the infection I couldnt sit up for long and then our computer crashed. Things are getting better and I do not hurt as I was before, and now we have the computer back. All the kids are starting to get excited about halloween and trying to decide what they want to be. We have church parties, friends parties and trick or treating to get in. The youth group is having a bonfire and the cost is a can of food for the food bank that our church has so we are going to be a busy family. DH put off working for three weeks to be with me and so last week and this week he has been out of town and I hate it alot but he has to work. Anyway just wanted you all to know that I am good and I pray you all are too.

A POEM ABOUT OUR GIRLFRIENDS
Someone will always be prettier.
Some will always be smarter.
Some of their houses will be bigger.
Some will drive a better car.
Their children will do better in school.
And their husband will fix more things around the house.
So let it go,
and love you and your circumstances.
Think about it!
The prettiest woman in the world can have hell in her heart.
And the most highly favored
woman on your job may be unable to have children.
And the richest woman you know,
she's got the car, the house, the clothes~~~~
might be lonely.
And the word says, "If I have not Love, I am nothing."
So, again, love you.
Love who you are.
Look in the mirror in the morning and smile and say,
"I am too blessed to be stressed and too anointed, to be disappointed!"
"Winners make things happen~~
Losers let things happen."
Be "blessed" ladies~~~~~
and pass this on to encourage another woman.
"To the world you might be one person,
but to the one person you just sent this to,
it could mean so much."

Well seems I am not going to get through the first month without some struggle after all.... I spent last night in the ER with them talking of making me stay a few days...I kept complaining to my DH that my tube site was feeling hard and when i set up it felt like it was up in my throat and hurt like the dickens ....we called the DR office and finally got a call back and they said for you to complain we feel you need to get to the ER and be seen ..... so 3.5 hours after arriving in the ER I get to go lay down in a bed and see a DR.... they automatically start talking cat scan and all this and I said helllllooooo look I am a week out of surgery I stick to my diet better then someone that is feed through a tube I can tell this is infected and I want the pain to GO away NOW can we please look at it before we start calling for cat scans and all lol.....so the surgeon comes in and wow what do you know a surface wound infection...go he tells me he has to go in well with those words I automatically said what do you mean go in???? I said just like in there no biggie or IN there!!!  he said the no biggie one....so he gets his things and he starts giving me about 6 shots in the belly around the spot of stuff to deaden the area.... then he proceeds to stick these dull scissors about 6 inches into my area and I look up and OMG here comes my DH straight down ontop of me about to pass out watching this man do this to me.... we got DH situated and he got a drink and was better ( not eating in about 12 hours did not help him any) anyway they complete and tell me you have to have this packed daily for about a week.... do you know anyone that can do this I said well DH cant he just like to tossed his cookies all over the place and the friends that I have here in MO are scattered and not living here by me... he said ok come to the hospital each day  I was like UGHHHH.... My pcp god love her is a savior her sister is her nurse practioner and she is going to do it daily for me and she is only 3 blocks from my house so today was the first packing again of it and some how her smoothing voice and all kept it from hurting as bad as it should of..... so thats whats happening Tuesday here

Today  I went in and they removed my tube...they said I was doing great keep the walking up ( DH was telling them I leave him behind in walking) when they did my bmi today i was left speechless 50.1 I now weigh 305 I will be at my first goal in no time under 300 lbs...I tried to call my mom and tell her the good news and I feel like with her its like an OH WELL thing so I call my MIL and she talks to me about things and makes me feel like I am on the right track... I am very hard on myself all the time always have been and if i do not get my 4 times of walking with 2000-2500 steps a time each day I get mad at myself and I know that I shouldnt but thats how I am .....the emotions are not as bad today....we bought a snow-cone maker today and are ordeing sugar free syrups and such to change my things up a little....there are many recipes for smoothies and such with it so this will be fun....you all have a great evening I am going to head up and see what damage my children are doing :) 

Post Date: 9/25/07 6:26 am
Whats's up Loser's and future Loser's?!?!?!?!! Ok so now I am home and let me tell you something this little momma started some ^&#%$^#^#^ at the hopital.....first off I am doing so goooooodddd No pain medication since saturday and thats the way I like it I hate taking drugs of any kind lol....I walked so much that they continually had to hunt me down for anything at all....Saturday  I asked for a popsicle it was banana and good then I was in the bathroom a while well later that night we hear a nurse say no we do not have sugar free popsicles on this floor the bariatric patients families normally bring thm in .I said WHAT and your nurses do not know this ????? bcaue I was given one today and have been sick all day after she said yes that would be dumping and I am so sorry DH went and bought two dozen for myself and a man whose wife had no car to get to the store for some for him .... and then came Sunday...I looked at this Dr Hackalougealmedi ( dont know his real name but close enough) I said umm look I feel really funny and you have had me on this IV drop INSULIN and at home I was only taking 750 mg metformin for diabetis and youare giving me to much ( this was not the first time i told him this) he said something to the response of no you are okay and walked out .... my nurse technician walked in less then 2 minutes later took my blood sugar and I was at 58 she ran and got the nurse they retook it in less then 2 minutes and I was at 42 and DROPPING...MR. Hackalougealmedi  was no where around but had ordered for me to be removed from IV drips and shots start beng given and taught in the mean time they are pushing sugar water into my IV thick Karo syrup type stuff lots of SUGAR yeah thats what a bariatric patient needs ...... here comes my second bout with dumping....I was not a happy camper and DH was livid since of course this happens after he went home to shower and rest...so when he got back we started on the WHO do we need to speak with and so on and so on and this continued until I got answers yesterday...by the time it was all said and done they had decided that the teams that work with the bariatric patients need to talk to one another more about their past medical conditiond ( and they needed to be DR. to figure that one out)....decided that sending me home on crushed metformin was the best ( so instead we watch my blood sugar and if I need it I take it my PCP is watching me on this since she is 2minutes from my house and not 20 minutes....I caused a big enough stir that hopefully there will be more communication so that future patients do not get left behind on the way they are feeling with their blood sugar that man wouldnt listen to me and funny when they came to talk to me about it everyone came except him he was s fellow and his boss came in to see me .....anyway  I am doing great enjoying being  the loser that  I am and looking forward to accepting all you other losers onto the bench with us!~~~~~~~ thank you all for the thoughts and prayers 
Rebecca thank you for being the angel you are!!!! 

Well in 24 hours I will be headed to the Losers Bench and this is a trip I can not wait to take!!!! I have been scared...excited...cried... and laughed over the last week about all this and today I actually ahve a calm over me and a disbelief that it is finally here...for as long as I can remember I have been  a BBW (Big Beautiful Woman) was the term always used and I am not sure what it is like to be anything but that.....but I do know that I can not wait to meet this person that lives inside the BBW part of me the one that the heart, mind, personality, and all really belong too....the one that has been hidden away deep inside scared to come out and be seen...I can not wait to be healthier.... to breath normally....to sit in a chair with arms and not have my hips being pinched....to have my children hig me and say wow mom you have gotten so much smaller....to feel proud when I walk down the street and to know that people arent staring because of my size anymore.....to walk into a regular size store to shop....just a few things I think of daily...I swear the first time I get to shop for pretty ladies shoes you all will hear me screaming!!!! Anyway off to bed for me you all have a good day!!!