BrandNewKimmie
After speaking with my PCP, we agreed that I have to get serious about my weight loss as I am at risk for many ailments and diseases. She referred me to a weight loss surgeon and my first consultation for gastric bypass surgery is next week 12/7/11. I didn’t want to get overly excited because of the worries of insurance covering the procedure and my fear of undergoing a major surgery. But after speaking with my insurance company based on my BMI alone, the procedure will be covered in full. After hearing that wonderful news and speaking to a friend about what gastric did for her life, I began to envision the future possibilities for myself and my health. With that being said, I began to brainstorm and create a realistic goal that I would like to set for myself. I’m 5’9 at 281 lbs, based on this and what is considered a healthy weight for me, I am setting a goal of 160lbs.
Just to back track…I’ve always been either chubby or fat for as long as I can remember. I was a normal sized child up until about second grade. What triggered my eating was the lack of supervision in my household. I think I began to eat because I was lonely and food was comforting. Throughout my adolescence, I was teased from time to time about my weight, more so in elementary and middle school. When I began high school, I was about 217 lbs (boy do I miss those days). When I began my Freshman year of college I began to diet seriously. A combination of walking everywhere with the help of Zenadrin, Hydroxycut, Zantrex-3 and going to Bally’s about 4 – 5 times a week, I went from 217 lbs (size 14/16) to 168 lbs (10/12). I was very happy at this weight, it took a lot to maintain but it was worth it.
Between the next few years my weight crept up to the 190’s. By the time I gave birth to my first child I went from 202 to 290 in 9 months. I ate and ate because I thought I could. Thanks to breast feeding and walking, I went from 290 lbs – 235 lbs in a matter of 4 months. At the end of the 4th month I found out my husband at the time and I were expecting a second child. At most I gained 15 lbs with her. I breast fed, walked and watched what I ate and got back down to 220 lbs. I stayed in that area for a few years.
During this time a lot transpired in my life, my husband and I separated, I lost my job, moved several times, my oldest battled severe asthma, pneumonia, I was extremely depressed which affected my weight. Within the last 2 years, I’ve joined a gym, Zumba, walked, ran, dieted, tried pills, OA, watched my intake however I couldn’t get under 246 lbs. For the past 6 months my weight has fluctuated between 250 lbs – 281 lbs.
My knees, legs and ankles and back hurt so bad. I can no longer walk for long periods of time without being out of breath and my back aching or my ankles feeling like they are going to break. I don’t feel or look like myself. I’m extremely self conscious and rather be a hermit for the time being. I think for so long, I’ve been in denial of how big I was and thought that I’d be able to easily take the weight off like I could when I was in my early 20’s. I’ve also had to deal with the root of my overeating through therapy and by being brutally honest with myself. I want to experience life and be able to keep up with my children and be an example to them. My parent's both died by the time I was 20 years old, their weight attributed to the diseases they died from. I want to live a long, fulfilling and healthy life, which is why I’ve chosen surgery as an option. As I anxiously await what’s to follow in the next few months, I am continuing to exercise and watch my diet because I know the surgery isn’t a magic wand. I’m preparing myself physically and mentally for what’s to come. I look forward to sharing my journey with you!
