brigette_kaye

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Okay, I think I can sit long enough now to type something out.. Just took a good dose of liquid tylenol, that lortab was making me crazy.

Other than the horrible pain on my upper left side I feel pretty decent. I wish I had more energy, I know the more I move the better I'll feel but it hurts to move, and my butt is starting to hurt from sitting down too. I need to get over it I guess. 

I got brave and tried the Pintos-n-cheese from TacoBell for lunch yesterday and I felt woozy all night. I don't know what's up with that, but it sure was good going down.

I weighed this morning and was down 18 lbs. I think I'm putting the scales away now, I seem to jump on them everytime I go to the bathroom and they always read different. I will not let myself get obsessed to those things again.

My night of surgery is quick becoming a blur. I remember it being incredibly painful and I thought I was dying when I first woke up, couldnt breath, had that nasal cannula in, I remember tearing it out myself and I felt like I was having contractions all night in my stomach. I remember being so aggravated with the nurses asking me questions when I had no voice and my tongue felt like sandpaper. 

But the good part was dear ol' mom and dad, right beside me, feeding me ice chips and holding my hand. That's something I'll never forget. they stayed the whole night with me in that uncomfortable room and didnt get a bit of sleep for my crying. Some advice for pre-ops..have someone that really loves you there to care for you that night, because you will be scared and you will need comfort that the nurses just can't give.

Well, my tail is starting to fall asleep again. I will make myself do some treadmill for a minute or two and see what some delicious beef broth would taste like.

I made it through my surgery with flying colors! 
I feel horrible now though.
I had no idea it would hurt THIS bad!
Every day I feel a tad better, but I wish I could at least stand up straight without feeling like my intestines are falling out!
I am so thirsty and cannot get enough to drink, or it will come right back up. Cotton mouth is horrible. Its day 5 and I'm getting ready to try some mashed potatoes, my last mushy food was cream of wheat and my tummy did NOT like it, so I've been on water and milk.
I will be back when I can focus better, and stay out of the bathroom longer!

Gosh, I've only got 3 more working days til my surgery. I've been having dreams(and nightmares) about it. Last night I dreamed I woke up from the anesthesia and they told me they were unable to do it because I had an enlarged liver. Ack!

I haven't told anyone at work other than my 2 closest friends and they havent said anything, so I guess come next week they will be wondering where I am. I didn't plan on being secretive about it, but when it came down to it, I just don't want everyone to know. People tend to give you advice whether you want it or not. I was thinking, if I told someone it would either go one of 2 ways: They say "You shouldn't do that, its dangerous, blah blah blah! and I get mad because it is not their decision, they don't have to live with it. OR They say "yep, you need to do that" and I get mad cuz theyre telling me I'm fat... So either way, I  get my feelings hurt, so I'll keep it to myself  for now.

I'm really going to welcome the down time after surgery. This whole process and dealing with all my other obligations has me stretched to thin. (not literally, haha) Plus if I had to wear my uniform pants any longer I swear I would suffocate. When I put them back on in a few weeks I will be able to at least sit down comfortably!

Just got home from my last visit with the surgeon before the big day.
The nerves are starting to kick in...This is really going to happen, and in just 15 days!
I'm so dreading the healing part and the pain. I wish I could fast forward about 6 months!
The lady at the desk took a "before" pic of me and gave it to me...yeppers, that sealed the deal. It was a HORRIBLE picture! Who did I think I was kidding? And I didn't want to tell anyone about my WLS because I thought they would say I wasn't fat enough for it? PUH-LEESE!  I think I've got that reverse anorexia. I never realize how big I really am till I see a full body pic and then I convince myself that it must be the camera. 
Well, I've got lots of new info to go over, and I still have to tell my boss tomorrow and get him to sign off on my papers. I am not looking forward to that one.
15 days and counting!!!

I got the call a few hours ago, I was so happy I just burst into tears!!
I'm going tomorrow for my last appt. to see everyone again, including the anesthesiologist. and then my surgery is scheduled for Feb. 7th!!

For once, things are finally going my way!  I'm super excited and nervous now at the same time. 

I went to work and got my short term disability paperwork started. 

I have 2 short weeks left. I know they will just fly by and then I'll be on my way to a happier, healthier me!

My Surgeons office called yesterday. They were on the phone with my insurance and they said they needed Dr.'s notes of my failed diet attempts. I typed out a detailed account of my last 12 years of dieting and weight gain. She seems to think it will suffice, and faxed it to them. Said she never had any problems with others with my same insurance about this and hoped that maybe the woman she was talking with was ill-informed.

All I know is, if somebody is going to have a hard time with things, it is going to be me. There are 5 co-workers of mine that just breezed right through this part in a matter of days and here I sit, waiting on bad news.

Now what I don't understand is why would I keep paying to go to the Dr. just to let him know that I'm a big fat failure? 

Is the fact that I weight 300 friggin pounds not enough proof that I NEED this surgery?

Sorry for the rant, had to get this off my chest. I knew things were going too good for me.

Well, I hit a small delay, my psych papers were being held hostage because of some insurance mumbo jumbo but I just got all that taken care of and hopefully my package will be sent out today!

I was told I should get an answer within 2 weeks!

On a positive note, I've somehow managed to lose 5 lbs. Must have been all that dancing on New Years Eve! LOL!

I'm so excited and ready for this to happen, and I can't wait to be off of work for a little while. 

I'm ready for my Extreme Makeover!

I've been meaning to get on here and update. oops!
I had my psych evaluation on Dec. 29th. 
I was "on the couch" (literally) for 35 minutes and the fee was 125 bucks!  I am definately in the wrong profession!
I left feeling, oh, kinda insulted actually. I can't believe my insurance made me go through that. 
He asked me questions like what day is this? and who is the president? How are an orange and a banana alike? What roads did I take to get to the office? 
Now, I know I'm no proffesional, but seems to me like my PCP or even my surgeon could have done that kind of evaluation on me.  I could understand making me do that if I had some history of a mental disorder or even if I was on anti-depressants or something. But to me, that was just a waste of my time and my money. But by golly, I did it, with no questions asked, I just want to be approved!
Now comes the waiting game. It'll be one week tomorrow and I'm so worried about getting turned down! I don't know what I'll do if my insurance denies me. 
In other news, my knees are absolutely killing me. They have "gone out on me twice this week allready and I nearly fell down.  Stairs at work are excruciating and not to mention that after the holidays, my pants are cutting me in two! I need help and I need it quick! Come on Blue Cross Blue Shield! Don't fail me now!

I needed to get a medical clearance.
I've been dreading this part so much because I got the feeling he was anti-WLS.
Well, I was wrong. 
His only concern was that I wanted him to "make up" a history for me. I told him I didn't even need that, only a clearance for surgery and he just brightened right up.
He said he'd be glad to do it for me and wished me the best of luck. I was so shocked I started crying!
Things are just going so good, I'm wondering when I'm gonna hit that snag! I made an appt for my psych evaluation for Dec. 21 and that should be all that is holding me back! YIPEE!

went great! I was told I was an excellent candidate for surgery, because I'm still relatively healthy.

I got all my labs done. The blood gas test was horrible! I have such a needle phobia that I nearly passed out in the middle of it! I'm so glad that part is over.

I did find out that I've gained 6 lbs in 2 weeks, ugh! Thanksgiving really did me in!

I stayed at Parkway Medical Center from 12:30 till 5pm! I got to talk to the Nutritionist, Rose; The program coordinator,Darlene; and my surgeon, Dr. Suggs.   I left feeling really positive and happy.  

Now I have to have my psych consult and get a medical clearance from my PCP and hope that my insurance says yes. Darlene told me I shouldn't have a problem with them.

Maybe by mid-January I'll be on the losing side!!