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WELL I AM DOING GREAT.  I GO TO SEE DR. J. THIS MONTH ON THE 30TH.  I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING HIM, AND GETTING HIS  THOUGHTS ON HOW I AM DOING.  THINGS ARE GOING WELL, AS FAR AS I KNOW.  I AM EATING PRETTY MUCH ANYTHING I WANT WITH THE EXCEPTIONS OF CARBS AND BREAD.....UUUUUUHHHHH TALK ABOUT SICK..... TO EVEN THINK ABOUT IT MAKES MY LITTLE POUCH HURT...  I FEEL LIKE I HAVE BEEN SUCCESSFUL... I AM FEARFUL OF GETTING FAT AGAIN... I GUESS THAT IS SOMETHING EVERYONE GOES THROUGH, I DONT KNOW. 

I AM ENJOYING LIFE SO MUCH... DOING THINGS I HAVE NEVER DONE.  IT IS EXCITING.
I AM HAPPY FOR THE MOST PART.

SUPPORT GROUP IS GROWING SLOWLY... I REALLY NEED TO GET MORE DEDICATED TO IT... BUT I DON'T KNOW IF I WANT A REALLY BIG GROUP.

I WENT BACK TO WORK FOR GIRLING...DOING HOSPICE CE STUFF... I LIKE IT.. BUT HOSPICE IS A HARD THING TO EDUCATE THE PUBLIC ON.

OVERALL LIFE IS GOOD...
MUCH LOVE AND LOOSING TO YOU READING THIS..
WALK IN PEACE.

Well I have the time tonight to update.  I am feeling so great... I cannot believe how good I feel.  I have lost a total of 164 pounds.  It is just unbelievable... I have some skin issues... My arms are horrible... I definately want to have them done.  I am more afraid of having that done, than having my RNY.  I had a consult with Dr. Hall, PS here in Austin, awhile back, and Deb continues to stay in contact with me.  So I am pretty sure that this fall I will do this... Dr. Hall is really good I have heard, and I liked him when I met him.  I don't want to travel so far to have this done.. It is to difficult living 3 hours away from your surgeon.

I really need to work out.. But I have no damn motivation.. I am really tired some days, and am always late with my b12 shot... I can really tell too.... I never get it on wednesday, it is more like friday or saturday of every other week... 

I am currently without insurance right now, due to the job change, and I got my insurance papers today..... It appears our insurance is pretty crappy, and that worries me... Hopefully it isn't as bad as it looks, but I need to really check on it... I hope that DH finds a job soon, so I can use his insurance.... I hear his job prospect has really good insurance.

I love my job with Girling.  I am so happy I went back to work for them...  Hospice is a hard marketing product, but it is so much more than just a marketing job... I feel so honored to have been a Hospice Nurse and to have been a Hospice family (when my mom passed away).  I feel like this is where I was meant to be.....   Thank you Lee Ann...

The baby is due in July... Actually on my birthday... They will do a c section a week early due to complications with the previous delivery.  Wyatt just turned 1 and is so adorable.. He has massive blond curls.... I just love him so much, and really need to spend more time with him....  Life is so complicated in Hallettsville though...

Not much else is happening.. I am getting out more, meeting people and just loving life...  I am trying to do things that I enjoy doing, and do things for me..... That is really hard to do..  It is different being a thin person.. So different... I am happy, healthy, and have a love of life...

I thank God each day for my friends and those that have helped me along the way with my weight loss, and all of the emotions that have went along with it... My friends have become my family and to you, I am forever grateful...
Much love and walk in peace....

OH MY GOSH... I HAVE NOT UPDATED IN MONTHS.....I AM SO BAD....I AM DOING GREAT THOUGH...I WEIGH 140... FEEL AWESOME.... HAVE SOME SAGGING SKIN, BUT CAN LIVE WITH IT FOR A LITTLE WHILE... LIFE HAS BEEN SO BUSY....
I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW GREAT I FEEL....WOOOOHOOOOO PRAISE GOD...

WELL IT HAS BEEN AN EMOTIONAL WEEK FOR ME... I WOKE UP FRIDAY TO START MY HOLIDAY WITH MY TRUCK BROKEN INTO, SMASHED, TRASHED, THE DASH PULLED OUT, IT IS A MESS..  OF COURSE IT IS AN OLD TRUCK AND ONLY HAD LIABLILITY INSURANCE ON IT... SO I AM BASICALLY SCREWED, AND IT WILL ALL BE OUT OF POCKET.... NEEDLESS TO SAY THE BIKE HAS MORE COVERAGE ON IT, THAN IT COULD POSSIBLY HAVE... OH WELL.
I SPENT CHRISTMAS IN SAN ANTONIO WITH FRIENDS.  WHITNEY CALLED ME, BUT MY OTHER TWO KIDS DIDN'T CALL.. OH WELL I DIDN'T EXPECT THEM TO.... I GUESS THINGS WILL NEVER BE RIGHT THERE. BUT OH WELL LIFE IS TO SHORT TO CRY OVER IT.... AND I REFUSE TO CRY OVER IT ANYMORE.  NONE OF US ARE PERFECT, AND WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES, BUT YOU NEED TO FORGIVE AND GO ON...I HAVE LEARNED THAT HOLDING ON TO ANGER, AND SELFISHNESS ONLY MAKES YOUR LIFE MISERABLE.
SO TODAY I WEIGHED AND I AM DOWN TO 147 POUNDS...WOOOHOOO.... MY BMI IS 24.4  I HAVE LOST A TOTAL OF 157 POUNDS FROM MY STARTING WEIGHT OF 304.. MY PRE OP WAS 296 SO THAT IS A LOSS OF 149.  I HAVE DONE AMAZING I THINK... I FEEL GREAT, BETTER THAN I HAVE IN YEARS.  I HAVE LOST A TOTAL OF 68 INCHES.  LIFE IS SO GOOD.  WORK IS OKAY,WAITING TO GET GOING WITH THE DISEASE MANAGEMENT PART OF OUR PROGRAM.. I REALLY THINK WE WILL END UP IN SAN ANTONIO.... RIGHT  NO I HAVE TO GET A CAR....   I AM SO HAPPY...INSPITE OF MY CRAZY WEEKEND.

Well it has been an emotional week for me.  I have lost a member of my support group.  I did not know her well, but we corresponded via email and the message board postings.  I feel really bad for her family and reached out to them as a support group leader.  I really don't know if I want to continue this support group or not.  I have been flamed and accused of all sorts of things by people that don't even know me, and have decided that I am  doing things with the wrong motive..... I am so pissed off....
I have done nothing but try to be there for everyone, and this is what it gets me... I was raised with respect and especially of the deceased.  I guess I just have different thoughts on this... I will not appoligize for reaching out, and for posting my thoughts and feelings.   I have never been one to worry about what people think or say of me, and I am not going to start now.  
I feel like this has went to far, and I am ashamed of how this has turned out..  I would think that people would  have more respect, no matter what they think of someone.  Oh well..... I am 2 pounds below goal and that makes me happy....
My bmi is 24.6... I am a normal person...wooohooo
I feel great... and I am not going to let these people get me down...

WELL I HAVE LOST 2 POUNDS SO I AM NOW 2 POUNDS FROM GOAL.  152#.  I HAVE PRETTY MUCH QUIT OBSCESSING OVER IT.. I HAVE REALLY THOUGHT ABOUT THIS, AND I AM HAPPY WHERE I AM.  I FEEL GREAT, LOOK PRETTY GOOD, AND FEEL GOOD ABOUT MYSELF.  THAT IS THE MAIN THING...  I HAVE BATWINGS THAT I HATE, SO I AM HOPING FOR PLASTIC SURGERY AFTER THE FIRST OF THE YEAR SOMETIME ON MY ARMS...  MY LEGS LOOK KIND OF CREEPY, BUT AT 43 WILL I BE WEARING DAISY DUKES???? I THINK NOT.  SO I CAN LIVE WITH THEM FOR NOW.  I AM WEARING A SIZE BAGGY 6 JEAN.  I REALLY NEED TO BUY CLOTHES.  I LOVE SHOPPING NOW AND BOUGHT MY FIRST PAIR OF BOOTS THAT I HAVE HAD IN YEARS.  I LOVE THEM, AND THEY ARE SO COMFORTABLE.  BROWN SUADE.   I SPEND MY WEEKENDS MOSTLY IN SAN ANTONIO WITH FRIENDS AND LOVE GOING THERE.  I REALLY SERIOUSLY THINK I MAY MOVE THERE SOME TIME AFTER THE FIRST OF THE YEAR.  I CAN TRANSER WITH MY JOB, AND THERE ISN'T REALLY ANYTHING LEFT FOR ME IN AUSTIN.  I HATE THE COLD WEATHER.  I AM A SUMMER GIRL,... GOSH THIS WEATHER MAKES ME NUTS.  COLD, WET SOME DAYS, AND IT JUST SUCKS..... I AM SO BUSY AT WORK, AND WILL BE GLAD WHEN THE FIRST OF THE YEAR COMES AND GOES.  I AM READY TO GET ON WITH THE NEW PROGRAM.
I AM GOING TO BE A GRANDMA AGAIN.. DON'T REMEMEBER IF I SAID THAT IN A PREVIOUS POST.  BUT THE BABY IS DUE ON MY BIRTHDAY... THEY WILL TAKE IT EARLY THOUGH DUE TO COMPLICATIONS WITH THE PREVIOUS BABY, SO I HAVE TO JUST BE CONTENT AND PRAY THAT EVERYTHING GOES WELL AND IT IS HEALTHY AND A GIRL...... YES I WANT TO BIUY THOSE PINK COWBOY BOOTS.... SO TILL NEXT TIME....MUCH LOVE AND LOOSING.

I don't know what is wrong with me.  My fat brain is driving me nuts.  I am perfectly fine at being a size 6 and overall I look great... I am 2 pounds from my goal so I sit here at 152 pounds.  

Today, I have this fat feeling and hate the look of my stomach.. I feel poochy.. Gosh, I know this is sick, but how do you stop your head....    Oh  gosh,  this has been a great 13 months... I hope I don't get all goofy now.....

Well I cannot seem to get to goal.  I am still stuck at 154 pounds... it is so annoying. but I don't know why, cause I am really happy with where I am.

I have been so sick with a cold, and I think it has turned into bronchitis...my chest is killing me.  Not much else is up in my life... I am going to be a grandmother again... The baby is due in July.  I am happy .

work is busy, but I like it that way, but it does not leave me much time for OH.... Oh well... Will write more later.

I have no idea what is wrong with me.. I am so moody and down... I have had days of crying for no reason.... I expected this months ago.  I miss my kids and maybe that has something to do with it... who knows... Work is so damn busy... I have education classes and patients coming in for assessments... I find I go home and I am exhausted... I have increased my protein to 3 shakes a day again, because I found over the past couple of weeks I h ve been slacking.
I still am stuck on 155 pounds... It sucks..... But I really am happy with where I am.. I hate my batwings... God how I hate them... I don't know when I will be able to afford  to have them removed....  My tail bone kills me... Gosh, it is terrible... just sitting on the couch hurts.  
I sit here with my precious Becky (cat) sitting beside me... It is funny how they want attention and your love too...
Support group is  soon.. I hope that it will be a successful one.
Oh well I will keep praying and hoping for the best... I am really dreading the holidays.... I really need to think positive.
Much love and loosing.

Well I made it to my 1 year appt with Dr. Jay. It was a great appointment.  I think overall he was pleased.  I have lost a total of 146#.  He wants me to increase my calcium intake and to make sure I am taking iron in my MV.  I could not help but get emotional.  I am so grateful to this man for saving my life.

So I am off and running into my second year.  Today nothing has agreed with me, and I have those days... I have drank a ton of lemonade today and eggs are the only thing that is agreeing. So I had eggs for brunch and again for dinner.  The meat balls like I had last week and were so good, did me in today.  Oh well .... 

Bigger news.  I found out I am going to be grandma again today.  I am shocked but happy and as long as  my daughter is happy I am happy. Hopefully it is a girl this time...
So let me go and ponder on this one for awhile....