Barb M.

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Ok, I didn't think it was possible but I just got to the end of the Before & After pics.  I was just going through them and suddenly it said "picture not found" and there was nothing else.  So now what am I supposed to do, work??  Looking through those pictures is what kept me going.  It helped me to see how far some people have come and now I'm done.  Oh well, I suppose I'll have to find something else to look at on this site.

Ok, so I only have 2 more days and I go for my appointments with the social worker and dietician.  I'm really looking forward to it and getting very antsy.  I'm worried, of course, that my inusrance won't cover it because of the 6 months documented diet, but I'm hoping they'll look at everything else I have and use that to make their decision.  I've still been spending alot of time looking at the before and after pics and they're great.  I see everyone else and I still can't imagine what I would look like if I've lost the weight.  Ok anyway, I'll put my excitement away and write my top 20 list of things I want to do once I've lost the surgery.  I know most poeple write these once they know for sure that they're having it, but I don't care.  I'm gonna write it anyway...

Top 20 list of things I want to do after I’ve lost weight

1.                  Ride bike without becoming winded after only 20 feet

2.                  Have sex without feeling so self conscious

3.                  Walk up the stairs at work and still be able to talk to my boss

4.                  Play with my son for longer than 15 minutes

5.                  Exercise and feel good afterward

6.                  Sit on the floor and be able to pull myself up

7.                  Prove to my boss that a person can change their eating patterns

8.                  Buy my first piece of lingerie from Victoria Secret

9.                  See my feet

10.              Go at least one month without seeing a doctor for an illness

11.              Not be self conscious in front of a camera

12.              Wear smaller jeans than my husband

13.              Make other men jealous of my husband

14.              Live longer than I would without surgery

15.              Smile without having a roll crease under my chin

16.              Breathe easier

17.              Run a mile

18.              Walk 20 feet without getting hip or knee pain

19.              Go on a vacation to a beach and wear a bathing suit

20.              Buy clothes in a section that doesn't say “plus”

So there they are.  Numbers 2 and 4 are the most important things to me.  I love my son more than anything in the world and I just want to be able to spend as much time with him as possible.  And since I've gotten bigger my sex life has just gone to hell.  I won't get into all the details but I know someone out there understands what I'm saying.  Ok I have to run now. 

Well I had my intake sessions appointment yesterday and I have to say I'm glad they make you go through that.  It was very informative on the whole process and what you need to do before and after surgery.  The only thing that really scared me about it was the insurance part.  They gave us all a packet that had specifics about what our insurance needs in order to cover surgery; mine said at least 6 months documented weight loss attempts.  Of course I've had well over 6 months, hell I've been dieting since I was a teenager.  But I haven't gone to a doctor for weigh-ins and all that shit.  I never realized that I should document my attempts.  But i have been on weight loss pills and strict diets several times.  The one thing that I think, or hope, will help will be a letter from my primary, Dr. Mala.  And I'm thinking about writing a letter myself about everything I've gone through and all my illnesses related to my weight.  Well I'm at work at have to run.  I'll update probably once I've had my appointments with the dietician and social worker.

Well I only have to wait 2 more days until my "intake sessions" appointment.  I'm not entirely sure what it's all about but I guess I'll find out.  Now here's something crazy... When I went to the doctor's over a month ago I was 286.  I just went to see my regular physician last Wednesday and I was 281.  I had lost 5 pounds.  How come when I'm not even trying I'll lose weight but when I am trying it's a pain in the royal ass?  I don't even care anymore.  For now I'll just continue with my eating habits and we'll see if I have the surgery.  All of the user profiles I've been looking at lately are great.  And still addictive.  While I should be working I'm surfing through Before and After pics.  I think I need an intervention from my co-workers.  Oh well.  I'll update after my "intake sessions" appointment.  Ta Ta!

I had my consultation appointment on June 4th and my doctor was great.  He was very supportive and very smart.  He made me feel like it wasn't my fault that I am this way.  I've dieted all my life and exercised when I had the energy.  But ever since I was a teenager I just kept putting on the weight.  I've been looking at the "Before and After" pictures on this site and they are very inspirational.  But it's also addicting at the same time.  I look at some of the profiles and read the people's stories and I just can't wait to have the surgery.  But then there's that thought floating around in my head, "What if my insurance doesn't cover it?"  My mother had the surgery and she was having problems with her feet and her cholesterol was high.  I have several problems more than she did and the doctor really pushed it to get her this surgery.  I'm hoping I have the same luck.  My next appointment is for "intake sessions", as they like to call them.  It's on July 18th and then I have part 2 which is talking to the dietician and social worker on August 1st, and 2nd.  When my mother went through this she didn't have to do all of that.  She went in to see the doctor twice and once they got the approval from the insurance company he asked her when she wanted it.  I wish it was that easy.  Well I guess I'll just have to wait patiently.