cherryblossoms

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 Down to 214 lbs on May 10th weigh in. Will weigh myself on the 31st again. Hopefully will have lost some more.. hope hope... hope. I would love to reach ONE~DERLAND before my 6 month appt  on July 10th. Been focusing on keeping my total carbohydrates under 50 grams a day this month, keeping my protein at 80 to 100 grams, at least 90 ounces of water and walking at least 30 minutes each day or doing a exercise DVD.

 Hair is still shedding. I try not to wash it so often and limit brushing. Taking biotin. Not bald yet.
 Taking all my vitamins every day.


 Todays eats :  B- vanilla almond protein cottage cheese chia pudding 1/2 cup
                           L- vanilla almond protein yogurt chia pudding 1/2 cup
                           D- 3  oz organic broiled ground beef burger w/ " Montreal Steak" and 2/3 cup broccoli with cheese sauce
                           S- 20 ounce vanilla bean torte-sweet coconut decaf tea w/ unsweetened almond milk & stevia~ chilled

total calories: 808 
 total fat: 29.2
total carbohydrate: 31.5 ( with chia added 21.5  net )
 total fiber: 12 grams
total sugar: 11.5
total protein: 98.1


I had Nik's pancakes (Bariatric foodie blog) for Sunday breakfast last weekend, and they were scrumptious.



Three pancakes with blackberry syrup (for ingredients I used) : 251 calories- 26 grams protein- 10 grams fat- 14 grams carbs- 4 grams sugar. Worth every bite. What a treat!





Quote of the day LOL : " Never argue with an idiot. They will only drag you down to their level and beat you with experience" ~ Mark Twain  = )

  it feels good to be back at the weight that I was complaining about getting back up to again a few years ago.  I am so obviously an apple shape... carry my weight in the middle.


  this breakfast was so good, had it again this morning. The fruit salad is apples, blueberries, strawberries and purple sliced grapes, the sauce is basically  from eggface's blog.... tooty fruity protein sauce; I didn't have SF Toroni fruit syrup, so I used a spoon of real strawberry fruit preserves instead. I can't finish it all, the rest is a snack.

I kinda like hot days because I won't be cooking, and I just want cold stuff , prob just shakes and more fruit salad today. Going to Prix. Do plan to take advantage of the sunshine and free vitamin D. Oh yea, and doing "The Shred".... it'll be the 4th day... tomorrow may be another rest day. uhggg!!!!! Oh yea, and I should make note, since I did get RNY for weight loss, that my 4 week stall seems to have broke. The scale is down 5 lbs. to 220.  Surgery day I was 275.

 I feel so much better, it's amazing.

Today I went for a ride on my beach cruiser, but I avoided the strand due to the Grand Prix being in town. It was a beautiful sunny day; got some vitamin D in.  Come summer my lil cruiser will come in handy for excursions to the store, since I have a handy basket on it. Plus gas is just so outrageous ~  4 bucks a gallon. Why not jump on my bike and pedal 6 blocks to the grocery store for a few items? sounds good to me.

I also have been planning meals and cooking up a storm. This new bariatric cooking is a fun new adventure, and I'm enjoying it. I get allot of the recipes I make from blogs I've discovered here on OH. I am stocked up! Because I freeze most of it then just pop whatever I want for a meal in the microwave. Had a wonderful vanilla/ mango/ banana protein shake today... want to make a chai tea one.

I love the restriction part of my RNY, it's been the biggest help.  Could do ( couldn't we all?) with out the vitamin malabsorbtion. My first support group meeting (  my surgeons office one) is this Saturday. All and all I would say I have a pretty good surgery clinic team.

I am seriously going to re-join 24 hour fitness again, and lucky for me I just got an email from them with a very reasonable rejoin offer ~ no down payment. I loved the elliptical and the pool, man I loved to do freestyle, it just put me in another world, so relaxing yet such a workout. I want to do some weights too. i really want to make the most of the three more months I have that are supposedly the easiest weight loss months.

 I want to catch up because In January I was recovering from all this new and a bit overwhelming experience... and getting somewhat better then ....WHAM .  Feb came and i was slammed by a huge kidney stone, promptly went out of commission going in and out of hospital... felt like crap, but got it all finished by March 16th, and now I am on my own and eating nutritious high protein food ( 70 to 120 grms a day) , water, ( herbal tea with stevia)  taking all my vitamins... my calcium pill schedule is a full time job... 

 I feel like I have so much energy again, and aside from my uh.... 3 going on 4  week stall... scale has not budged, but what the hell, it will eventually.

I just feel so hopeful for the future again, so unlike what I was back a couple of months ago. The world is my oyster... (?) plus they do have allot of potassium.... or is that clams?

Your life.

 Yea.... it really is. I'm finally feeling like more of myself again after all this trauma of my first few months. Had my kidney/bladder stent taken out on the 16th at the Doc's office, and it wasn't even bad... i didn't cry or anything, and it was out  so quick. I felt better immediately.... no pressure on my bladder making me feel like I had to pee constantly and much  nicer to sit without the feeling of something rubbing inside.

So, I am out of the woods, and I'm not looking back. No use worrying more.. no more what if's.. and scaring myself. I'm just gonna take care of me NOW as I am and chose to be. Surgery and all. Stressing and worrying does not solve anything, but it does make things worse. I really can't blame myself thou when I was sick, I mean septic shock?, that was scary and life threatening, but I was well taken care of and I am FINE. now

I've been eating waaay better, and it's so weird how things can change because, while I was in the hospital, my surgeon cleared me for regular food~ as tolerated, and I have been eating regular food since. With no problems what so ever. I eat chicken, fish, turkey, beef, shrimp, eggs, veggies, salad, fruit, beans, low fat peanut butter, low fat cheese..... blah blah blah.. and none of it phases me now.  I have even made some recipes from a couple of the blogs I learned about on here, and they were delicious, and went down smoothly.

I  drink a protein shake every day too. But how weird is that? health and life in general can change so quickly, now sometimes I feel like I never even had surgery. I don't mean becasue I'm overeating, but rather I don't seem to dump..on  complex carbs and the sugar in them, I mean I haven't tested it with simple sugar, and don't plan to, but I do ( my choice and NUT recomended) drink 4 ounces of pure sunsweet prune juice diluted with water each morning ( warmed) which has fruit sugar and never have dumped once. It also keeps me regular,, at this point, I do plan to ditch it once I am a bit further out~ as drinking water does too of course. I  have daily bm's. I don't have foul smelling gas (so I am told), although I do  have gas at times. Sugar alcohols make me feel crappy about 45 minutes after I eat. I do also stick to lower fat cheeses ect because I do think that too much fat has a bad effect on me; althou I haven't had dumping yet.

I have been walking every day , anywhere from 30 to 60 minutes, and have my energy back. I'm taking all my vitamins the way I'm supposed to, so there is nothing more I can get from freaking about that either. I have my 3 month follow up next month.

So, I'm feeling optimistic about my health now. Which is a relief and a welcome change. Now I know why , after re~ reading some old posts ,I wasn't eating and in such a depressed scared place, and it ALL makes sense why I would feel that way at the time And it was okay for me to feel like that. Now, after all this I am feeling like my body and mind, once again has amazing healing capacity and I want to continue to get better. I must a have a very strong inner core and faith. I know I do. ha ha I'm like a dandelion that just keeps popping back up.

 I went to Khols and bought a new bra, size 42-C, it's a Bali's  " one smooth U " and I really like it, lots of firm lifting support and looks good under t~ shirts. On sale 19.99... wear it on the inner most hook, maybe I should of gotten a size smaller,    well it was on sale. As for my other stuff,  I have burned Thu 3 sizes all ready, from a 22 jean to a baggy 18 atm.  I look like a hobo. I have a closet full of clothes waiting from size 16 to 7 at least to help get me thru. wow...  I am excited for the future AND ditching this excess weight AND being healthier because of it. 

Been reading the forums on here; don't post much right now. I guess I would just rather read for the time being, but I always do enjoy reading the forums.

  It's been a  couple of scary months for me, but I'm still here : ) Alive and kicking and in good health, it seems, recovering from my  kidney stone, septic shock hospitalization last month then lithotripsy on the 1st of this month. My Doctor  was successful in turning the stone to dust, and I am grateful for that. I have a minor UTI, but am feeling generally well. I am now drinking water like a fish, room temp, and I'm getting MUCH more in now that I am not taking teeny sips, but normal ones ~ over 8 glasses  each day, and I can really tell the difference. I guess I thought, like many newbie RNY'ers that my new stomach would break or something if I took bigger swallows.

My daughter, who flew in from CO the day after I was released from the hospital  flew back today. She was here for a month, and was such a comfort and help to me. I really  appreciated her fresh and young lively  perspective as I was letting myself sink pretty low, but I'm feeling kind of sad about her leaving, as I wish we lived closer, but  I am happy she is starting her new job and has a good life and husband. I love her very much. While she was here we went to the aquarium  and saw " True Grit"  at the theater which I thought was really good, and watched a few "on demand" flicks  at home " 127 Hours' ( really good) " Due Date" ( good too)

I get my stent taken out this Wed at  my Doctors office ~ a simple 30 second procedure, done with numbing solution..... my Doc says then I should be in the clear. I probably got this stone from eating Tums constantly  for several years. I hope to God I have no more complications that wind me up in the hospital. I guess one reason I dislike  being hospitalized so much is because I am such a hard IV stick and I dislike needles.

I'm taking my vitamins as prescribed:

 Morning: calcium citrate chew 500 mg, B12 sub lingual, B1, multi.

mid morning: calcium citrate 500

afternoon:  dry vitamin E, vitamin A/D ,Iron

evening: calcium citrate 500, multi

later: iron, biotin, subling B complex

 I'm not the only person in the world who has gone throu  problems..... but sometimes I feel like it especially with the newness of this surgery still sinking in I felt like it all became just.... overwhelming, but I must, for my own sake, be strong again... look on the positive side... isn't it why I had this surgery in the first place? and stop dwelling on all the bad things because right at this moment I am fine, and continuing to dwell on what happened to me will just drag me down, and it's over. I'm OK : ) I must  take a good look at my strengths and coping and start to live again.... instead of doubting and what ifs....

 I'm going to go to my first support group this Saturday, looking forward to that... to meeting  some people in person who have been thru surgery.

I'm eating well too. Drank some prune juice for constipation today, and it worked along with all the hydration I'm giving myself now. I will never let myself become dehydrated again. I have learned the hard way how important  it is.

Been pondering about  my stone blockage experience and the way it symbolizes  my own negative emotional blockages I have created in my life.  It can be cleared... that is my lesson I take from this.

  That about sums it up. On 2/ 6 went to emergency room... in hospital 6 days. Tons of fluids and potassium iv's ,antibiotic iv's......arms tapped out from iv's and blood draws. Don't want to go into much detail; am very tired and weak from hospital. Have a stent, stone to be blasted next week some time. Feel like crap. Trying to hydrate/ eat. Got my  6 week post op vitamins, been taking them for 4 days. Daughter is visiting me . Don't know where I would be with out her..... dead probably.

Wish I NEVER had this surgery. Even thou I have and there is nothing I can do now. I will always be against people getting it. " The Drastic bypass"..... I realize this problem isn't directly linked to my surgery. The stone probably has been there... but it's still a scary complication.... not to mention just really bad timing.


 kind thoughts and prayers appreciated.....

 I was hoping so much that I wouldn't need packing in my main incision. I thought it had been healing up nicely. I guess  Dr. Naim's assistant Carolyn agreed because she took a look and really felt around for any hollowness, a sign of improper healing, and said it felt solid and like scar tissue, then she cleaned it and put a regular band aid on it. YAY!


We discussed my issues with getting proper nutrition in this week..... that some days I just didn't eat anything. Also my water intake. I am really working on that. It's so different now that I can't gulp down a pint at a time. I mean I love water. I don't have a soda habit or really even a coffee habit, and staying away from coffee since it is dehydrating anyway. I drink herb teas.

Dr. Naim gave me clearance to eat soft food.  I need to eat something 3 times a day, as much as I can. Protein first.
Now I can also try watermelon, cantaloupe, mangoes, apple w/o the skin, sweet potato and even maybe some salad chewed up. I don't have to puree it all anymore.

I was excited and went to the grocery store to buy some cantaloupe and watermelon and a bag of iceberg lettuce salad ( figured that would go down easiest since it's is mostly water anyway) some Newman's own Asian light dressing, some edamae , some lentil soup, one sweet potato,  lite ranch.

 I sampled a fresh cherry while at the store, and it's been several hours no problems.  it took me about 5 or 6 bites to even eat the cherry, well it was a big one....

I just don't get it when people say stay away from fruit, yet admit to "cheating" on chips and other stuff! I mean how much fruit are you actually going to eat anyway? a couple a bites? three at the most? and fruit has enzymes, vitamins, water and fiber as well. At the moment my weight loss is  very good, and on good days I get in about 600 or so calories; bad days 200. I would think that when one starts to seriously work out one would need some extra carbs, and when one is doing maintenance one is trying to be like a normal person in maintaining their weight. I think it is all a trade off really, some eat a little candy some eat a little fruit...... I  was told by my Doc's to try fresh fruit last visit. The visit prior she noticed my coconut WATER and wanted to look at the stats; commented that it didn't look bad it has electrolytes, sugar content isn't too high, no fat.


 Now I get home and put this all away, and... ha ha I want none of it. I sit here sipping water while typing.

My stomach does not like (at the moment):

1. eggs
2. fish of any kind, no tuna, no sole no salmon no sardines no herring ( no omegas?) have to ask Dr. about this~ those little red krill oil thingys I keep seeing on TV are teeny compared to the horse pill size regular omegas.
3. chicken
4. peanut butter


food in general.....

 I will really try, even if it is a couple of bits or sips of protein shake. This sounds way better then jello, pudding , syrup and crap filled with aspartame, and possibly splenda  which the former is greatly suspected to be cancer causing.  I buy stevia in the raw. It's cool how it has caught on outside the raw food movement. In Japan they have used it a  sweetener for about 40 years, in various products, with no adverse health problems noted. 



~ CBS reports newwww.cbsnews.com/stories/2005/07/28/health/webmd/main712605.shtml study links aspartame to cancer/ leukemias.


My weight loss is right on target, and I feel better and more positive. I can feel the weight loss, and I know my heart is grateful because it doesn't have to pump/build extra blood vessels to 27 lbs of useless fat anymore.

 

 Basically  NOTHING. A few sips of protein shake and * breaking news* 5 cups of water.

O wait...  more breaking news~ I just had some of a laughing cow light baby bell sliced up and two teeny whole grain melba toast round chewed to cud. I am full
 What the hell is wrong here? I guess it's a question I must answer myself.  Taking vitamins.

 4 weeks out on Monday.

 At first I was really happy, but as time goes on in this 12 week period that's supposed to be the most difficult ,my mood is getting worse. I do understand it may be the toxins and hormones stored in my fat being released, as well as coming to terms with the permanent change I  had done to my self becoming a day to day reality... the limitations and food issues, basically nothing agrees with me, and I can't IV protein shakes.

I am really disliking any protein shake. I tried pureed fillet of sole with pureed broccoli the other day. The sole did not sit nicely in my stomach... and kept me from eating the next day. I have not dumped or thrown up....... Just nausea from most animal/fish/ egg items. I am not hungry at all in the morning. I'm more hungry late afternoon evening.

I'm just trying to take it easy and relax, the deed has been done.... I need to find my own new way. But I tell ya I don't care how thin I get.... if I have to exist on a diet of protein shakes and yogurt the rest of my life.... my thought atm is that's gonna be a real drag. 

Really, honestly all I want to do right now is stay in bed and hide.
 on the up side my main incision should be healed by Monday, my Doc appt, or pretty close to it.

  I  am hating this. I feel I will never be able to eat a normal healthy meal again. You know, like 3oz of lean meat or fish, couple of salad, fresh fruit, quinoa.

I am CRAVING fresh fruit and veggies. I am soooo stupid. O sure I did my research before hand for almost a year and a half. Thought I would breeze thru the stages; didn't really sink in how I have now been re wired... and more importantly, no matter how much I researched and read, how MY body would react to it. I know I am still healing, but you know? WHO WOULD NOT LOSE SO MUCH WEIGHT IN A 12 WEEK PERIOD OF EATING NOTHING BUT PUREED FOODS?  Seriously?

If only I had had the strength to return to at least a 51% raw diet with meats and fresh fruits ect I could of done this on my own, but nooooo I let myself get so depressed about my life that I just ate junk and gained 75 lbs in 7 months. I am just so disappointed and angry at myself for letting my emotional eating get so out of control, more than I had ever been. I victimized my own self to the point of looking to this as a lifesaver thrown out to rescue me from the hole I had been digging. When I had the power all along. I still do, but I have a long road and allot of changes and thinking to do.

Now I am depressed about this.... like Jack Nicholson said  in a movie " What if this is as good as it gets?". O yea... well  the weight loss has been just peachy, but I could have survived a concentration camp to lose weight this way.  This can't be healthy.

How will I even be able to return to swimming laps and stuff on less then 600 calories a day????


I am not hungry. Not getting in  all my protein. Only shakes and stupid stuff like  greek yogurt and pudding and Popsicles agree with me. Am not getting all my water either. I just want to stay in bed all day. I didn't get on this fucking RNY bandwagon to have to eat 'The Atkins diet" the rest of my life. Healthy fats are good. At least one day , yea right, I will be able to include raw coconut oil, olive oil , avocado, and omegas, chia, flax and more in my diet in small amounts. And healthy complex carbs.

I walk 2 or 3 times a weeks for about 20 minutes each time.

My main inscion is healing "slow" but is supposedly "not infected" I change it every day, so sick of it. Well it should be done by this week.


On the other hand, I am in the beginning stages of this, and from what I have been told , it's hardest part. There are lot's more positive outcomes I have read about then negative. The reality was I let myself gain a ton of weight was was unmotivated to do anything about it by myself, and the way I was going I imagine that I would only get fatter. This has lit a fire under my butt.

 I am just being honest here, so months from now I can see where my head was at and appreciate the changes; which allot will be positive. I am working on my protein intake today.  Still any one who tries to say this is the easy way out is clueless.





I want my RNY  reversed! ha ha ha....... o well, be careful what you wish for......

 

 Yesterday my 5lb tub of Max protein powder from SEI pharmaceuticals ( chocolate) arrived.~ with a nice discount via eggface's blog.

I tried it today. As I removed the seal from the lid I thought wow! this stuff smells GREAT, not like the other ones  have tried. It smells like I could eat it from the tub.

I was looking forward to making a SIMPLE and SMALLER size shake, not like the ones I had been making using the vanilla powder I bought first that I had to use two scoops for the same amount of protein basically, and muscle milk light, one container of pre~ made pudding cup etc to mask the crappy flavor.

I am SO HAPPY with this stuff. Seriously. It's a relief. Great texture. Dissolves quickly. Not gritty~ no aftertaste to me.

I'm going to order a tub of vanilla  or cookies and creme next month.

I just poured in 8 ounces of unsweetened soy milk ( 7 grms protein) and 1/4 frozen banana, and one scoop of this powder ( 22 grams high quality protein amino acid blend) and it made the best shake, w/o all the added junk, and only about 9 ounces worth too.  =29 grams of protein.

This will be a snap now to get in about 87 grams of protein a day during this phase; as the SIZE  of my shakes  are much smaller now. I don't need to be sipping them thru out the entire day. Plus I really, really like this protein powder, it's worth it to me.

So, I feel like another hurdle as been passed in finding and liking this.

 I am walking about 15 to 20 minutes a day broken up inn two outings, unless i have errands to run, then more. I  made a 64 ounce pitcher of iced peppermint tea this morning too.


I can totally see myself using this protein powder long term  in many recipes.