Still Losing, Under Goal

Aug 17, 2012

My husband asked me last night if I would call my surgeon to ask if there's a problem that I'm still losing after I reached my goal weight. I'm at 137 right now. I still have fat deposits under my skin hangs, so I know I could lose more weight.

Here's the thing. My surgeon never gave me a goal weight. Never. My dietitian didn't, nor did my physical therapist. As far as they were all concerned, my surgery would be a success if I made it under 170.  I picked 140 myself, because it seemed to be a decent BMI for my height, and I was curious to see what I looked like that thin. My body might have a different goal weight. 

I also know that I will gain back 15 pounds or so from the lowest weight I reach. It's almost guaranteed. So the lower the better. But no. I'm not still "trying" to lose weight, not that I really consider not eating "trying." It's a function of the surgery.

I still have fat days, and I've noticed that I get a big tummy if I eat too much. Never had that happen when I was fat! You wouldn't be able to see a distended stomach! But I sure can now, though it's probably just bloat since I can't eat that much.

I've been under a lot of stress this month for various reasons, mostly financial. We're in foreclosure, and we have three creditors who have filed complaints with the courthouse. We're trying to get a handle on things, but I had a couple dry months when it comes to my freelance contracts. Things are picking up again in that regard. The other big stressor has been that we've reached the end of the interview process for a company in Texas. My husband has been interviewing with them for almost three months now. We should get a final offer or rejection Monday or Tuesday of next week. It was supposed to be yesterday, but that was delayed. I feel a huge knot in my heart when I think about moving. I get very flushed and feel like my bowels are about to release. BUT... it would mean financial stability, and we must go where the jobs are. We are very fortunate that my husband is still employed, because if it's a rejection, it's not a disaster. 

I have no idea how to have the conversation with my mother that we're moving... she will be devastated to have her grandbabies so far away. I haven't told her about all the interviews because I didn't want to worry her if nothing ever came from it. So we shall see. I always swore I would never leave Wisconsin as long as she was alive, but we are diving deeper and deeper into debt... it would be irresponsible to stay if there was a better opportunity elsewhere.

Why Texas? Because my best friend and her family moved there (Houston area) this summer for a job with the same company. At least I wouldn't be among strangers. 

Anyway. I think I need to start taking my anti-acid medicine again, because I'm starting to lose sleep over the queasiness again. Last night I only got about two hours of sleep. 

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