chrisgraves

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My husband  was getting ready for work this morning.  I didn't recognize the jeans that though for 1/2second "that's odd" then he turned around and my jaw dropped when I saw back swirls on the pocket. 

Yup you guess it.  They were my JEANS!!! 

I was laughing so hard I was on the floor. 

"Hun" I said between gasps, "Turn around.  I think your wearing my Jeans."  I pulled the label down and yup they're mine "But they were in my pile can't I just wear them?"  He asked me.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!  That would be way to EMO.

I must remember now that I'm farther out and can tolerate pretty much all foods.  (except apple skins)  That this is not a reason to eat all foods.

Little bits of this and little bits of that will slow/stop my down ward progress.  Must keep to my plan.  Be concious and plan my eating  bases on what my day will look like.  Having a plan makes daily life easier.

Friends keep calling me skinny.  It's kind of Odd.  I know that I'm not Skinny by definition (210lb is not actually skinny) but rather much lighter than I'd previously been.  And in many cases weigh less than many of my friends have ever known me to weigh.  I know it's  complement but I also know that I've got easily another 50lbs to loss to be truly healthy by Doc BMI schedules.  So how will people react when they see me in another 6 month and I weigh less than I do now.  
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An interesting thing happened this weekend.  I know a person peripherally threw a group of friends.  He's always been an ass and treated me as though I don't exist.  But now all of a sudden he's deemed me worthy to talk to.   I know it's cause I'm not MO any more and it just goes to prove what a complete ASS he actually is.  I ran into his ex-wife yesterday, she was always nice to me and relayed the story to her.  She just laughed in the ironic kind of way and said something to the effect of
"Reason #101036 that we're not together any more."
   
Some where I'd read a blog about people treating you different after surgery and loosing weight.  It's not my friends who treat me differently.  They've always loved and accepted me but it's the strangers and new people that I have to watch out for now as I don't have that automatic AssHole filter/buffer that I had before.  LOL...

My Great Uncle died this past week.  Last evening was the wake and today is the funeral.  It's weird as I'm not close with this side of my family.  My mom talks to her cousins but I"m not involved particularly.  So to see them for the first time in several years was odd.  I can't remember names to save my life and they have no idea who I am let alone after lossing 100lbs.  Several of the cousins can guess who I am once they see me with my mom & dad, but their kids who are my age have no idea.  One actually knew who I was off the bat as she is a Nurse at the hospital that I had my surgery and I'd talk to when I'd gone back for my Strictures.  But of course with the anistisha I had to have that day whiped any memories and my mom had to remind me that I had spoken with her.   

It's just been and odd couple of days.  I'm not grieving in particular way as my Uncle was ready to go.  But it reminds me that my parents aren't young.  Rather humbeling, does that make sense....

I know I'm rambeling

Well here I am just going into the 4th weekend and I've reached my first major goal.  Or what I thought was my first major goal.  I've hit the 100lb loss mark.  But it's what I've gained in the last 8 months that is beyond spectacular.  I've gained a life.  I was surviving before Not LIVING!  Today I run around like a nut some days but I love it.  I jump to do stuff with friends that I never would have though to do before or would have brushed of with some minor excuse. 

So in retrospect those Gains seem much more important to me than the actual 100lb loss. 

My body is still changing I"m not loving the saggy bit but clothing is great camofauge and my hubby doesn't mind.  He calls me his new active wife.   LOL!  He can get his arms around me and the sex is amazing!  Who knew??!!

So I'm off to celbrate the long Independance day weekend with summer friends who haven't seen me since last year.  This should be intersesting since the first big gathering with be under the stars with a Bon fire. I'll be surprised if 1/2 the people figure out its me.  I'll be missing my Zumba but I've made plans for long island rambles so I'll be get my heart rate up that's for sure!

Spending the day baking and doing laundry.   I notice these days as I put all my nice freshly cleaned clothing away that they now stay on the hangers.  This is rather a novelty for me.

Has anyone else noticed that their clothing color palette has changed?  I generally choose more muted tones and now I find that I have lots of BRIGHT colors making up a wonderful rainbow. 

I've picked up an 8 week toning class threw a local parks and rec. program.  Today was the first class.  It's me and two older ladies (late 60's).  They kicked my A**. 

The teacher had us using 5lb weight, bands and these strechy ropes.  During ceratin muscle groups my muscles would just fail, espeically the hip abductor.  GOOD Gracious that hurt like holy hell.

Just a reminder that I"m a work in progress.  I'm down 98lb but there's still alot of room for improvement.  LOL

 

Who knew... I'm starting to find my hip bones, ribs and clavical. 

What an odd sensation.

Well the warm weather finally hit Mass.  We all woke up on Saturday morning to a 30 degree increase with major humidity!  Seriously mother nature, I wore a heavy fleece in the middle of the week.  This major temperature change lends it self to realizing that I had no light warm weather cloths in my current size.  All my stuff recently purchased was geared for work and 50-60degree weather.  Not mid 80's with high humidity.  So off I went, after my Zumba and 3 mi walk, to do a blast shopping in sweat shorts trying to find decent but cheap options to get me threw.  Sigh...  I felt like such a scrub.  Especially since I make a effort to look put together these days.  I did eventually find a nice jean skirt, a pair of capri's and cargo shorts.  That will get me threw for a bit, as I only get to wear them on weekends. 

Sunday I spent the day helping my parents prep the summer house bathroom for painting.  I was the one climbing the ladder to put the trim tape up and eggin my father on with one more task.  It was a new feeling for me to be agile (sp?) and nimble.  I wasn't dripping in sweat or feeling overly exerted.  In fact if I hadn't had to catch the ferry I easily could have gone a few more hours. 

With these summer weight cloths on I'm taking more stock in my limbs.  I catch my knee's or elbows out of the corner of my eye and it hard to grapple that they are mine.  Today my husband and I went to the movies and just sitting the chair felt different.  It's a reinforcement that there's less of me to move threw space.  I take up less volume and my limbs move differently.  I find that there are times when I put more force behind a movement (getting up, leaning over) and will lose my balance as my center of gravity has changed.  I think the exercise is helping me get used to this new and continually changing body and its only a few times here and there that I stumble.  Generally it is in situations I haven't been since I started losing the weight, I attribute it to older in-grained muscle memory and spacial recognician.

I also stocked up today at Savers 1/2 off sale; got 2 jeans, 3 pants, 1 pair shorts, 1 skirt in the next size down!  size 16!  WOW!  Pretty amazing to think that I'll be there by the end of the summer.  I haven't been that size since highschool.  Plus I love the fact that I can find great steals on stuff there... 3 brand named items still had tags. 

I carry my pre-op pic with me every day for inspiration.  A couple of days ago I was chatting with a good friend and she wanted up dates on my stats.  We see each other weekly so she knows I've put a lot of work into where I'm at today.  But one of the things that was resounding was that she never saw me at being MO, I was just "smilie Chrisgraves".  She said she obviously sees weight loss but it's hard for her to imagine where I'd been hiding 94lbs.  I whipped out my pic and she nearly fell off her chair.

I guess that's the thing since for her, me & my hubby the transformation has been gradual.  It takes those before pictures to really bring it into perspective.  My body has gone threw a lot of transformation in the last 7months.  If you don't know me well... unless I smile you might not recognize me.  Kind of a weird thought.