Cindy Mc
8 Steps to Conquer the Beast Within
Mar 07, 2009
8 Steps to Conquer the Beast Within
By Martha Beck
Illustration: Guy Billout
It's been tailing you for years—depression, a hot temper, an irresistible urge for cupcakes—appearing here and there, with no rhyme or reason. Or so it seems. Martha Beck calls this a bête noire, and she's developed an easy way you can track it, tame it, and vanquish it forever.
Right now I have two cliché pains: one in my neck and one in my butt. Both are the result of my learning to ride—and I use that term loosely—a horse. The butt pain is no big deal; just chafed skin. I'm told it can be avoided by wearing a padded undergarment, brand-named Comfy Rump, which I'm sure they carry at Victoria's Extremely Dark Secret. My neck pain, on the other hand, could mean trouble. It started when my horse jumped a little, causing my head to lash around on my vertebral column like a bowling ball on a Slinky. Though this was a new experience, the afterpain is all too familiar. You see, I have fibromyalgia, a chronic pain syndrome no one really understands. My neck may heal normally, or "fibro" may be triggered by the bruised tissue, making the injury debilitating.
Fibromyalgia is my bête noire, a French term for "black beast" that has come to mean something to be avoided because it frightens us or can cause us harm. Many of us have bêtes noires: dark moods (Winston Churchill called depression his "black dog"), addiction, self-loathing, a tendency to lurk in the shrubbery near former lovers' homes holding a machete in one hand and The Complete Works of Keats in the other. Whatever your bête noire might be, you may think it will ruin your life. I beg to differ. Like other wild animals, your bête can be studied, understood—even tamed. If you want to be the handler of your beast, instead of its prey, grab a pencil and prepare to learn a bête noire tracking exercise that I call the Lifeline. Step 1: Learn to call your bête noire by its real name.
Many magical traditions hold that you control a monster by speaking its name. My whole world changed the day a doctor flipped through his medical school textbook and found the label for my illness, which had been misdiagnosed for years. Knowing my condition's name allowed me to track, understand, and manage it. The power of naming is why so many lives have changed with the first utterance of words like "I'm an alcoholic" or "I'm over my head in debt" or, simply, "I'm unhappy."
One of my clients, a diabetic, told me, "If I talk about diabetes, I'll attract it. If I never say it, it isn't real and it can't hurt me." Actually, avoiding a scary topic means your subconscious mind is riveted on it. To let go of something, you first have to admit you're holding it. True freedom starts with absolute honesty. So be brave: Say the words. "I'm lonely." "I have an eating disorder." "My marriage isn't working." The moment you call the problem by its real name, you're already learning how to make it less harmful.
Step 2: Start filling in your lifeline by rating your bête noire at this moment.
On the Lifeline graph you downloaded, the numbers across the bottom reflect your age. The numbers on the left axis indicate the intensity of your problem. Begin filling in the Lifeline by answering this question: On a scale of 0 to 10, with 0 indicating "no problem at all" and 10 "the worst I've ever experienced," how bad is your problem today? Put an X in the column above your current age, at whatever level feels appropriate (if your suffering is at 10, mark the topmost box; if it rates a 9, the second-to-the-top, and so on).
Step 3: Remember (and record) the worst of times.
Now recall when your bête noire was its very worst—the time you were fattest, most nicotine-addicted, most socially incompetent, or whatever. If you don't remember your age back then, think of other things that happened around the same time: "Oh, yes, that was the year I [got pregnant/bought a Yugo/tried to learn pole-vaulting]." These events will help you place your worst bête noire periods in the correct year on your Lifeline. Mark the "level 10" box above each of the years when your problem hit its maximum. For example, my pain rated a 10 when I first developed symptoms, at age 18. It came on strong again during each of my pregnancies, and stayed at maximum force when all three of my kids were tiny. That means that on my Lifeline, fibromyalgia pain scored a 10 at ages 18, 23, 25, and 27 through 30. Mark your Lifeline to represent your personal Dark Ages.
Step 4: Remember (and record) the best of times.
Now it's time to look on the bright side. Recall occasions when your problem eased up or temporarily disappeared. Remember what was going on in your life, and above each year of low beast activity, mark the box that shows the level of intensity back then. For example, my pain levels dropped from a 10 to a 4 when I was 31, after I quit my academic job and started writing books. They rose a little the next year, but at 33, when I began life-coaching former students, my pain dropped to near 0. When was your beast at its least? Give it a score for each year that applies. Step 5: Fill in the gaps.
Once you've marked the best and worst of times, fill in the gaps, scoring your bête noire levels at every age. You won't have total recall. The numbers will be too fuzzy for physics. But social scientists know that charts like the Lifeline can be extremely useful—and as you fill in the boxes, you'll automatically start thinking like a social scientist. Which brings us to the most powerful Lifeline step.
Step 6: Take note of correlations and casual links.
You describe correlations and causalities every time you observe, "I eat more when I'm tired" or "I feel wonderful near the ocean." Many of the causal links in your life are obvious to you, but others are invisible. The Lifeline exercise helps you see these. To begin noticing connections between your bête noire and other life experiences, answer the questions below on another sheet of paper.
A. When your bête noire was at its worst...
1. Where were you living?
2. Where were you working? (Note: Raising kids at home is work.)
3. What did you do on a typical day?
4. With whom did you spend time?
5. What did you believe?
B. Now answer the five questions above in regard to the times your bête noire was least bothersome.
C. What did your worst times have in common?
D. What did your best times have in common?
E. Other than the bête noire itself, were there any factors that were present at the worst times but not at the best times?
This exercise has sparked thousands of lightbulb moments for me and my clients. I spent years trying to figure out what triggered my fibromyalgia pain, always focusing on things like diet or medication. But creating a Lifeline revealed something surprising: Each and every time my pain flared, I was doing something that I later realized was steering me away from my life's purpose. The pain attacked when I tried to write academic journal articles, receded when I wrote books for a popular audience; worsened when I tried to be my idea of a "perfect mother," lessened when I was simply myself around my children; spiked when I taught college, vanished when I started life-coaching.
If you mull over your Lifeline, you, too, will find unexpected correlations and causalities. My client Janice realized that her beast—alcoholism—was less severe when she spent lots of time knitting. (Yes! Knitting!) Benjamin realized that he made disastrous business decisions around intellectual snobs. Colleen's self-esteem dropped like an anvil whenever she stopped doing yoga. These clients couldn't believe such factors were really aggravating their bêtes noires —until we tested them. Which brings us to... Step 7: Test your discoveries.
If you think you've spotted a causal link in your Lifeline, experiment. Create the life conditions that correlate with a calm bête noire —and see if that's what happens. This may seem strange, but the proof of the pudding is in the eating: When Janice hauled out her yarn and started clicking needles, her whiskey-thirst actually did diminish. Benjamin spent less time with intellectuals and more with his blue-collar employees, and sure enough, his business sense surged. Colleen found that down dog really did make her buck up.
Step 8: Tame the beast.
Though I still have fibromyalgia, I rarely have symptoms. That's because, using a Lifeline, I realized that my body uses "fibro" to send messages from my soul to my brain. "Your destiny's not here!" the pain tells me. "Look over there!" It used to take incapacitating agony to make me pay attention. But as I kept studying the correlations in my life, I learned to change course when I felt the first twinge. As a result, my pain has diminished, not advanced, as time passes.
I've seen this exercise work with all kinds of black beasts. I now believe that bêtes noires usually attack because we're thwarting our own destinies. Calming the beast turns us toward our best lives. So, when Janice replaced whiskey with yarn handicrafts, she realized that what she really wanted was to use her innate creativity. The more she created beautiful things, the less compelled she was to drink. Benjamin became so comfortable working with blue-collar employees that he outperformed the MBAs at his company. Colleen made time for yoga every day, and her self-esteem blossomed, improving every relationship in her life.
If you begin using Lifeline exercises to track your various bêtes noires, you will discover what aggravates them and how to quiet them. I've learned from hundreds of clients that your very worst issues can be tamed into helpful friends. One day your bête noire will be just a frisky dog or a flighty horse, an enjoyable and loyal companion, only occasionally causing a slight pain in the neck.
0 comments
Fibromyalgia is my bête noire, a French term for "black beast" that has come to mean something to be avoided because it frightens us or can cause us harm. Many of us have bêtes noires: dark moods (Winston Churchill called depression his "black dog"), addiction, self-loathing, a tendency to lurk in the shrubbery near former lovers' homes holding a machete in one hand and The Complete Works of Keats in the other. Whatever your bête noire might be, you may think it will ruin your life. I beg to differ. Like other wild animals, your bête can be studied, understood—even tamed. If you want to be the handler of your beast, instead of its prey, grab a pencil and prepare to learn a bête noire tracking exercise that I call the Lifeline. Step 1: Learn to call your bête noire by its real name.
Many magical traditions hold that you control a monster by speaking its name. My whole world changed the day a doctor flipped through his medical school textbook and found the label for my illness, which had been misdiagnosed for years. Knowing my condition's name allowed me to track, understand, and manage it. The power of naming is why so many lives have changed with the first utterance of words like "I'm an alcoholic" or "I'm over my head in debt" or, simply, "I'm unhappy."
One of my clients, a diabetic, told me, "If I talk about diabetes, I'll attract it. If I never say it, it isn't real and it can't hurt me." Actually, avoiding a scary topic means your subconscious mind is riveted on it. To let go of something, you first have to admit you're holding it. True freedom starts with absolute honesty. So be brave: Say the words. "I'm lonely." "I have an eating disorder." "My marriage isn't working." The moment you call the problem by its real name, you're already learning how to make it less harmful.
Step 2: Start filling in your lifeline by rating your bête noire at this moment.
On the Lifeline graph you downloaded, the numbers across the bottom reflect your age. The numbers on the left axis indicate the intensity of your problem. Begin filling in the Lifeline by answering this question: On a scale of 0 to 10, with 0 indicating "no problem at all" and 10 "the worst I've ever experienced," how bad is your problem today? Put an X in the column above your current age, at whatever level feels appropriate (if your suffering is at 10, mark the topmost box; if it rates a 9, the second-to-the-top, and so on).
Step 3: Remember (and record) the worst of times.
Now recall when your bête noire was its very worst—the time you were fattest, most nicotine-addicted, most socially incompetent, or whatever. If you don't remember your age back then, think of other things that happened around the same time: "Oh, yes, that was the year I [got pregnant/bought a Yugo/tried to learn pole-vaulting]." These events will help you place your worst bête noire periods in the correct year on your Lifeline. Mark the "level 10" box above each of the years when your problem hit its maximum. For example, my pain rated a 10 when I first developed symptoms, at age 18. It came on strong again during each of my pregnancies, and stayed at maximum force when all three of my kids were tiny. That means that on my Lifeline, fibromyalgia pain scored a 10 at ages 18, 23, 25, and 27 through 30. Mark your Lifeline to represent your personal Dark Ages.
Step 4: Remember (and record) the best of times.
Now it's time to look on the bright side. Recall occasions when your problem eased up or temporarily disappeared. Remember what was going on in your life, and above each year of low beast activity, mark the box that shows the level of intensity back then. For example, my pain levels dropped from a 10 to a 4 when I was 31, after I quit my academic job and started writing books. They rose a little the next year, but at 33, when I began life-coaching former students, my pain dropped to near 0. When was your beast at its least? Give it a score for each year that applies. Step 5: Fill in the gaps.
Once you've marked the best and worst of times, fill in the gaps, scoring your bête noire levels at every age. You won't have total recall. The numbers will be too fuzzy for physics. But social scientists know that charts like the Lifeline can be extremely useful—and as you fill in the boxes, you'll automatically start thinking like a social scientist. Which brings us to the most powerful Lifeline step.
Step 6: Take note of correlations and casual links.
You describe correlations and causalities every time you observe, "I eat more when I'm tired" or "I feel wonderful near the ocean." Many of the causal links in your life are obvious to you, but others are invisible. The Lifeline exercise helps you see these. To begin noticing connections between your bête noire and other life experiences, answer the questions below on another sheet of paper.
A. When your bête noire was at its worst...
1. Where were you living?
2. Where were you working? (Note: Raising kids at home is work.)
3. What did you do on a typical day?
4. With whom did you spend time?
5. What did you believe?
B. Now answer the five questions above in regard to the times your bête noire was least bothersome.
C. What did your worst times have in common?
D. What did your best times have in common?
E. Other than the bête noire itself, were there any factors that were present at the worst times but not at the best times?
This exercise has sparked thousands of lightbulb moments for me and my clients. I spent years trying to figure out what triggered my fibromyalgia pain, always focusing on things like diet or medication. But creating a Lifeline revealed something surprising: Each and every time my pain flared, I was doing something that I later realized was steering me away from my life's purpose. The pain attacked when I tried to write academic journal articles, receded when I wrote books for a popular audience; worsened when I tried to be my idea of a "perfect mother," lessened when I was simply myself around my children; spiked when I taught college, vanished when I started life-coaching.
If you mull over your Lifeline, you, too, will find unexpected correlations and causalities. My client Janice realized that her beast—alcoholism—was less severe when she spent lots of time knitting. (Yes! Knitting!) Benjamin realized that he made disastrous business decisions around intellectual snobs. Colleen's self-esteem dropped like an anvil whenever she stopped doing yoga. These clients couldn't believe such factors were really aggravating their bêtes noires —until we tested them. Which brings us to... Step 7: Test your discoveries.
If you think you've spotted a causal link in your Lifeline, experiment. Create the life conditions that correlate with a calm bête noire —and see if that's what happens. This may seem strange, but the proof of the pudding is in the eating: When Janice hauled out her yarn and started clicking needles, her whiskey-thirst actually did diminish. Benjamin spent less time with intellectuals and more with his blue-collar employees, and sure enough, his business sense surged. Colleen found that down dog really did make her buck up.
Step 8: Tame the beast.
Though I still have fibromyalgia, I rarely have symptoms. That's because, using a Lifeline, I realized that my body uses "fibro" to send messages from my soul to my brain. "Your destiny's not here!" the pain tells me. "Look over there!" It used to take incapacitating agony to make me pay attention. But as I kept studying the correlations in my life, I learned to change course when I felt the first twinge. As a result, my pain has diminished, not advanced, as time passes.
I've seen this exercise work with all kinds of black beasts. I now believe that bêtes noires usually attack because we're thwarting our own destinies. Calming the beast turns us toward our best lives. So, when Janice replaced whiskey with yarn handicrafts, she realized that what she really wanted was to use her innate creativity. The more she created beautiful things, the less compelled she was to drink. Benjamin became so comfortable working with blue-collar employees that he outperformed the MBAs at his company. Colleen made time for yoga every day, and her self-esteem blossomed, improving every relationship in her life.
If you begin using Lifeline exercises to track your various bêtes noires, you will discover what aggravates them and how to quiet them. I've learned from hundreds of clients that your very worst issues can be tamed into helpful friends. One day your bête noire will be just a frisky dog or a flighty horse, an enjoyable and loyal companion, only occasionally causing a slight pain in the neck.
Information from Paul on my BP issues
Jan 08, 2009
Cindy,
Don't dispair... there are some supplements that will help bring your BP down. If they bring it down enough to get off of the BP Rx, only time will tell.
Go to http://www.umm.edu/altmed/articles/hypertension-000087.htm. In particular click on each of the substances in the "Related Items" blue shaded section.
This is from Where I Go For Vitamin and Supplement information. For basic applications to health issues of various vitamins information, I go to www.umm.edu/altmed/ which is from the University of Maryland Medical School. They are one of very few med schools in the nation that teach something called Integrative Medicine. This site is the School of Integrative Medicine's database for vitamins, minerals, herbs, and other supplements.
There you can put in almost any vitamin, mineral, herb, or other supplement, and it will tell you everything about it that there is a clinical study saying happens.
You can also put in a health condition, such as hair loss, high cholesterol, anemia, etc, and when you click on that, besides the 'WebMD' type explanation, off to the right of that page, there is a list of every vitamin, mineral, herb, or other supplement that has been shown to have any affect that.
You can also put in the name of every Rx or OTC drug you take, and it will tell you what vitamins it depletes. For example, aspirin depletes potassium and B-9. If you take an aspirin, you might want to take one of each of those at the same time.
You can also put in the name of everything you take, and it will summarize everything it affects. You may be taking two different supplements for two different purposes, where the first actually takes care of the second, and as a result, you may choose to not take the second.
The wife and I have used this site over the last two years. Over that time a couple of things have happened. The first is we take a lot less vitamins and a lot more herbs. The second is we take almost everything as an individual vitamin except for multivitamin as an easy way to get the trace minerals.
The list of what we take daily is on my profile. The things I take knowing part of what they are going to do is help control BP are:
Flaxseed Oil
Borage Oil
Evening Primrose Oil
Hawthorn Berry Extract
You may or may not want to try them, but I consider these as important as my calcium citrate, iron, and B12 shots.
Good luck and best wishes,
Paul
0 comments
Don't dispair... there are some supplements that will help bring your BP down. If they bring it down enough to get off of the BP Rx, only time will tell.
Go to http://www.umm.edu/altmed/articles/hypertension-000087.htm. In particular click on each of the substances in the "Related Items" blue shaded section.
This is from Where I Go For Vitamin and Supplement information. For basic applications to health issues of various vitamins information, I go to www.umm.edu/altmed/ which is from the University of Maryland Medical School. They are one of very few med schools in the nation that teach something called Integrative Medicine. This site is the School of Integrative Medicine's database for vitamins, minerals, herbs, and other supplements.
There you can put in almost any vitamin, mineral, herb, or other supplement, and it will tell you everything about it that there is a clinical study saying happens.
You can also put in a health condition, such as hair loss, high cholesterol, anemia, etc, and when you click on that, besides the 'WebMD' type explanation, off to the right of that page, there is a list of every vitamin, mineral, herb, or other supplement that has been shown to have any affect that.
You can also put in the name of every Rx or OTC drug you take, and it will tell you what vitamins it depletes. For example, aspirin depletes potassium and B-9. If you take an aspirin, you might want to take one of each of those at the same time.
You can also put in the name of everything you take, and it will summarize everything it affects. You may be taking two different supplements for two different purposes, where the first actually takes care of the second, and as a result, you may choose to not take the second.
The wife and I have used this site over the last two years. Over that time a couple of things have happened. The first is we take a lot less vitamins and a lot more herbs. The second is we take almost everything as an individual vitamin except for multivitamin as an easy way to get the trace minerals.
The list of what we take daily is on my profile. The things I take knowing part of what they are going to do is help control BP are:
Flaxseed Oil
Borage Oil
Evening Primrose Oil
Hawthorn Berry Extract
You may or may not want to try them, but I consider these as important as my calcium citrate, iron, and B12 shots.
Good luck and best wishes,
Paul
2 years later
Oct 26, 2008
WOW I am so bad about updating information here on my profile. Tomorrow will be two years since I had my surgery. I haven't kept records like I should have so I don't remember what I weighed at one year out. I think that I weighed about the same as I weigh now.. 150.
I am doing great and am so loving what I did for myself. I have had the roller coaster ride that most have but I would do it again in a heartbeat. It has meant that much to me to finally be healthy again. I am off all prescription medication and all I really take now are my vitamins.
I wasn't doing them as much as I should until the last few days I realized with the postings that were on the boards that even though I was taking the vitamins daily that perhaps I should take the recommended amounts instead of just half of that. So now I am taking the 4 optisource vitamins a day that the bottle says I should take.
I will be the first to admit that I am not good at doing all the things I know I should do. Other things always seem to get in the way. So.. It is a new year and I am praying that I will get on the ball and start doing the exercises that I know I need to do and get out and ride my bicycle more so that I can rebuild my muscles.
I hope that if you have read this far, you won't do as I have done but do as your Dr tells you. I feel successful but I also know that I could be a better success if I were doing a few more things. I am working on that.
Have a blessed day and I will attempt to try to update my profile monthly from now on and see if that helps me to stay in line with what I know I need to do.
I am doing great and am so loving what I did for myself. I have had the roller coaster ride that most have but I would do it again in a heartbeat. It has meant that much to me to finally be healthy again. I am off all prescription medication and all I really take now are my vitamins.
I wasn't doing them as much as I should until the last few days I realized with the postings that were on the boards that even though I was taking the vitamins daily that perhaps I should take the recommended amounts instead of just half of that. So now I am taking the 4 optisource vitamins a day that the bottle says I should take.
I will be the first to admit that I am not good at doing all the things I know I should do. Other things always seem to get in the way. So.. It is a new year and I am praying that I will get on the ball and start doing the exercises that I know I need to do and get out and ride my bicycle more so that I can rebuild my muscles.
I hope that if you have read this far, you won't do as I have done but do as your Dr tells you. I feel successful but I also know that I could be a better success if I were doing a few more things. I am working on that.
Have a blessed day and I will attempt to try to update my profile monthly from now on and see if that helps me to stay in line with what I know I need to do.
Cajun Girl Dana's in the kitchen..YEA!!
Aug 24, 2008
Egg Delite by Dana
(This recipe makes 2-8” pie plates)
12 large eggs
4 tbsp. water
1 medium onion, chopped
½ red bell pepper, chopped
½ green bell pepper, chopped
2 cloves garlic, chopped
2 cups 96% Fat Free Ham, cubed
1 cup Mexican Four Cheese Blend
5 LaTortilla Whole Wheat Low Carb/Low Fat Garlic & Herb Tortilla
Salt to taste
Pepper to taste
Paprika
Extra Virgin Olive Oil
Pre-heat over to 350 degrees.
In a sauce pan, sauté onions, bell pepper and garlic in olive oil until translucent, allow to cool. Spray the bottom of 2-8” pie plates with Pam. Tear tortilla into pieces and line the bottom and sides of the pie plates. In a large mixing bowl, combine eggs, water, onion mixture, chopped ham and cheese, mix well. Season with salt and pepper. Pour into pie plates and sprinkle paprika on top.
Bake at 350 degrees for 25 minutes. Depending on oven, you may need to add or subtract time, watch carefully.
I’m considering adding sour cream and salsa to each piece when warming.
Nutritional Information: (This is for 12 pieces, again you may need to alter nutritional info based on serving size, one piece was to big for me. Info does not include sour cream or salsa) Calories 178, Fat 10.65 grams, Carbs 9.4 grams, Fiber 4.6 grams, Protein 15.5 grams
3 cups rotisserie chicken, cubed
12 oz. frozen spinach, defrosted and water squeezed out
1 medium onion, chopped
½ red bell pepper, chopped
½ green bell pepper, chopped
4 cloves garlic, sliced thin
¼ tsp. Italian Seasoning
2 springs Rosemary
1 can cream of mushroom soup, I used Healthy Choice
1 can diced tomatoes with chili
¼ cup 2% milk
1 cup Mexican Four Cheese Shredded Cheese
Extra Virgin Olive Oil
Salt to Taste
Pepper to Taste
Saute' onions, bell pepper, and garlic in olive oil until soft, add Italian seasoning and rosemary. Spray the bottom of a 9 x 13 glass casserole dish with Pam. Layer cubed chicken, spinach, and diced tomatoes. Mix cream of mushroom soup with ¼ c. milk and pour over layers.
Bake on 350 degrees for 25-30 minutes, remove and add shredded cheese put back in oven until cheese is melted.
Nutritional Info for 9 portions (which is more than enough for a WLS patient, you may want to make serving sizes smaller). Calories 225, Fat 8 grams, Carbohydrates 11.28 grams, Fiber 2.8 grams, Protein 17.9 grams
Been too long
May 11, 2007
Well, it has been way too long since I updated anything here. Things are going very well right now. I went to the Dr for my 6 month check up and things appear to be doing alright. I have to find a lab that my insurance will pay for and have blood work done but I am doing good.
I have lost 69 pounds and am looking forward to the summer and the fun I think I will be able to have that I couldn't enjoy last year. We moved into a new building at work and sometimes the elevators just aren't working well so have been taking the stairs some and that is something that I wouldn't have done at all last year. I would have waited until the cows came home on an elevator. I have been parking on level 5 and walking up to 9. That is an accomplishment for me. I go down the stairs too but some days it bothers my knee more than other days. I have to find something that will help my knee not hurt so bad. Maybe just more exercise and a little more weight loss.
I am finding that one of my favorite things before surgery just doesn't work well anymore and it is sad. I love cold cereal and maybe I just need to try a different one but I am finding that I get that dumpy feeling when I eat cereal. Like I said maybe I just need to try a different one. Plus some of the ones that I loved pre surgery, just don't taste good to me anymore.
We have bought a house and are moving at the end of May first of June and that will be a real experience since we have lived where we are for at least 19 years. Lots of junk to go through and get rid of. I find myself complaining but also, I am so looking forward to starting out fresh again.. Maybe not having so much clutter. The house is bigger and things will just work out better I think as far as having a place for everything.
Oh well, I think that is all.. not much else going on with me.
CKM
I have lost 69 pounds and am looking forward to the summer and the fun I think I will be able to have that I couldn't enjoy last year. We moved into a new building at work and sometimes the elevators just aren't working well so have been taking the stairs some and that is something that I wouldn't have done at all last year. I would have waited until the cows came home on an elevator. I have been parking on level 5 and walking up to 9. That is an accomplishment for me. I go down the stairs too but some days it bothers my knee more than other days. I have to find something that will help my knee not hurt so bad. Maybe just more exercise and a little more weight loss.
I am finding that one of my favorite things before surgery just doesn't work well anymore and it is sad. I love cold cereal and maybe I just need to try a different one but I am finding that I get that dumpy feeling when I eat cereal. Like I said maybe I just need to try a different one. Plus some of the ones that I loved pre surgery, just don't taste good to me anymore.
We have bought a house and are moving at the end of May first of June and that will be a real experience since we have lived where we are for at least 19 years. Lots of junk to go through and get rid of. I find myself complaining but also, I am so looking forward to starting out fresh again.. Maybe not having so much clutter. The house is bigger and things will just work out better I think as far as having a place for everything.
Oh well, I think that is all.. not much else going on with me.
CKM
WOW...
Feb 13, 2007
01/17/07 another snow day
Jan 16, 2007
I am sitting here trying to decide if I should get up and try to get into downtown Dallas to go to work. I hate driving in winter weather. When I lived in Odessa, it was a lot different because there weren't any over passes that you had to go on to get to work. Much different here. I also wish that I lived closer to the train station so I could just hop on the train and get there. I suppose that I could drive to the train station today and just get there one way or the other. 
I haven't been keeping up with my posts like I should but you know sometimes I just forget to do it. I am almost 3 months post op and I have lost 53 pounds. I haven't measured lately but I know I have lost a lot because I am now into size 12 - 14 instead of 18-20. I am getting better every day as far as what I can eat and being able to keep everything down. My husband was sick this past weekend with the stomach virus where all he did for 24 hours was poop barf and sleep.
I told him to stay away from me cause I have a hard enough time staying hydrated and I know I would have to have an iv of fluids if I got that virus.
I have an appointment next Tuesday the 23rd for my 3 month followup. I will be glad to see what they think.
Guess that is all for now.
Cindy Mc
I haven't been keeping up with my posts like I should but you know sometimes I just forget to do it. I am almost 3 months post op and I have lost 53 pounds. I haven't measured lately but I know I have lost a lot because I am now into size 12 - 14 instead of 18-20. I am getting better every day as far as what I can eat and being able to keep everything down. My husband was sick this past weekend with the stomach virus where all he did for 24 hours was poop barf and sleep.
I told him to stay away from me cause I have a hard enough time staying hydrated and I know I would have to have an iv of fluids if I got that virus.
I have an appointment next Tuesday the 23rd for my 3 month followup. I will be glad to see what they think.
Guess that is all for now.
Cindy Mc
12/30/06
Dec 29, 2006
Hello, here I am again, too much time has past again without an update. I feel that I am doing pretty good. Still having good days and bad days but for the most part, I am learning how to handle this new system I have. I am sick right now and don't know exactly what I was diagnosed with because the Dr. didn't tell me just gave me a shot and some antibiotic. Thank goodness I have been out of pocket so much this year cause these last prescriptions were free. I don't know why I didn't say so what do you think it is because I usually do. Maybe I just felt so bad that I didn't care as long as I got to feeling better before the weekend. I am down 48 pounds in 9 weeks. I have at least 52 to go to be at my personal goal. Don't know if I will get there or if I will stay there but I would like to at least see what it would be like to be 135. Don't want to look sick though. Well, I had a really good Christmas and am looking forward to a better year in 2007. I have been off my blood pressure meds since the surgery but since I have gone back to work I have noticed an steady increase so I am thinking that I will have to start back if I don't figure out a way to get it back down. I really haven't been eating the wrong things I don't think but maybe I better weigh all the things that I have been doing and get back to the right stuff to keep it down.
My new years resolution is to get busy with my exercise. I would like to join a club but don't know if I will be able to right away. Trying to get caught up on my bills and stuff so I will just have to put my home equipment to good use and get my self busy everyday. It is something that I know I have to do just like last year I knew I had to quit smoking.. SO glad I did that...Praying that the rest of my family follows suit since they are getting so much more expensive on Monday. ( husband will probably just go buy up several cartons so he has a little more time to make up his mind.) :(
Well that is it for now.
Me
11/28/06
Nov 28, 2006
Well, I haven't been keeping up like I should but I am working on it. I have to get busy and start and exercise program of some kind so that I can begin the firming process of my body. The weight I have lost is really making me jiggle. So, I have to see if I can get busy and work on that. I am thinking that I should join a gym because at least there I wouldn't be distracted by the phone or what ever. I would just go and do my exercise and then go home. Still in the thought process.
Still having food issues and learning issues. When I am really hungry it is so hard to eat slow and chew the way I know I must. But again... it is a learning process.
I have lost 34 pounds so far. Just waiting on getting below the 200 mark. Haven't been there in over 5 years and I am ready.
Will try to update more often...Later, Cindy
Still having food issues and learning issues. When I am really hungry it is so hard to eat slow and chew the way I know I must. But again... it is a learning process.
I have lost 34 pounds so far. Just waiting on getting below the 200 mark. Haven't been there in over 5 years and I am ready.
Will try to update more often...Later, Cindy
11/14/06
Nov 14, 2006
Hello,
Just thought I would take a minute and add a little bit of up date here.
I am 18 days out of surgery, still haven't had to take any blood pressure medicine since the surgery. I have lost 28 lbs and 17.25 inches.
This has been a truely life changing process. I am still having difficulties remembering to take small bites and to chew til I just can't chew anymore. There are times when I can eat one thing but then turn around and the next time it just won't work. I still get tired easily and am not walking like I should be. I have had what I think is a sinus infection and if it doesn't get better soon I will have to see about going to the Dr and get something done about it. Will have to be liquid meds though as I don't swallow pills very well. Only my antidepressant and that is cut up into four little pieces. I have only been approved at the present time for being off through the 19th which is this coming Sunday. I was hoping to be off through the Thanksgiving week but it may not work out that way for me. We will just have to wait and see. I go back to the Dr. on Thursday to see what we can do about extending the time.
We shall see what happens. That is all for now. Cindy
Just thought I would take a minute and add a little bit of up date here.
I am 18 days out of surgery, still haven't had to take any blood pressure medicine since the surgery. I have lost 28 lbs and 17.25 inches.
This has been a truely life changing process. I am still having difficulties remembering to take small bites and to chew til I just can't chew anymore. There are times when I can eat one thing but then turn around and the next time it just won't work. I still get tired easily and am not walking like I should be. I have had what I think is a sinus infection and if it doesn't get better soon I will have to see about going to the Dr and get something done about it. Will have to be liquid meds though as I don't swallow pills very well. Only my antidepressant and that is cut up into four little pieces. I have only been approved at the present time for being off through the 19th which is this coming Sunday. I was hoping to be off through the Thanksgiving week but it may not work out that way for me. We will just have to wait and see. I go back to the Dr. on Thursday to see what we can do about extending the time.
We shall see what happens. That is all for now. Cindy
About Me
Ovilla, TX
Location
25.7
BMI
Surgery
10/27/2006
Surgery Date
Mar 22, 2006
Member Since
