Crys
I am a 45 year old wife and mother of 3, grandmother of 1. All my life all I ever wanted was to be a wife and mother. And I got it! I really have had a blessed life. My mom and dad loved my brother and I and were great parents. The downside was that my mom obsessed about her weight and my dad let me know above all else appearance was most important. So I grew up thinking you could never be truley happy unless you "look" perfect! In my 20's, after my marrige to my highschool sweetheart failed, I found true happiness. In my relationship with Jesus. And my second marrige to my God given blessing of a husband. And in that relationship I found true unconditional acceptance.( both with Jesus and my husband) This brought a new freedom, one of allowing me to learn to see myself as God sees me and not preocupied with what others think or see of me. After years of over indulgence with food, I am ready to look on the outside like I feel on the inside. To be able to do all the things I think God would want me to do. Things I have been doing, just not to my full potential. I have a very wonderful and supportive husband, who married a thinner wife and has NEVER complained that I gained 100 pounds the first year of our marrige. I have come to a place in my life that I am not going to believe satans lies any longer. I want the abundant life that God's word talks about. For those of you who know scripture, I am ready to posses that promise land. I am ready to cross the Jordan and live in the land of milk and honey. For me it is not about looking beautiful. I have had that mentality and do not ever want to go back to that bondage. For me....it's about freedom, freedom to be and do all that God has for me. It's as if this extra weight is nothing more than chains bound to me, dead weight that slows me down. I have tried every diet there is. When I was documenting all the diets I have tried over my life time, I was reminded of how it all started as far back as elementary school. I was raised in a home where dieting and weight loss was a sign of strength. I have learned, where I am weak, He is strong. So here I am, 45 years old and giving up. Giving up trying to do it in my own strength. For me, it's all about allowing God to have 100% of me and my life. To make me into who He wants me to be. To be healthy so He can use me in any way He sees fit. I am so looking forward to where God leads me!
