Back in the Fight

Jul 20, 2011

I have been struggling with appetite this past year.  Not a terrible weight gain.. but I have gained about 20 pounds  and am still down 110 pounds but I don't want this weight to come back so back to my surgeon for this time an unfill a month ago -- to let my system relax. He felt I had been too tight.. ( i was) And yesterday I had my re tightening.. I can't tell yet if it's tight enough.. Just back on solids this evening.  I do know that all the bands and fills and unfills in the world can't stop me from eating if I decide to be rebellious and stupid.  I got the bad because of my inability to control my appetite and it has worked really wonderfully for almost 5 years.. It has been a miracle for my health and self esteem and just plain energy.  All great things.  Emotional eating is one of my issues and for whatever reasons it has been literally nibbling away at me. I have gone to meetings, read about it, and tried many things.  But at the end of the day it is about surrendering to God this behavior. And letting God take the reins. And when I do that -- when I let God take the burden of stress, irritation, worry, busyness onto His shoulders and when i turn to Him to find out what I should eat.. It always works better.  And in the past couple of weeks I have been working on this.  I have started excercising again. My energy is better and one minute, hour, day at a time I am turning this food over to God. My band is a tool and probably the best tool man can provide for this disease of obesity. But God is ultimately who I must turn to for the addictive behaviour!

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