Starting over....again

Jan 30, 2019

What can I say, here I am back again with even more weight to lose. I got down to 228 only to gain it all back again with my stupid choices. I can't seem to stay away from the soda and sweet and overall overeating. I don't dump anymore but I sure wish I did. I have pulled out my paperwork from surgery and made a 2-week menu with the foods that I should be eating and I am gonna do this...again. I am rereading The Body Fat Solution by Tom Venuto on some of the mental aspects as that seems to be a major kicker for me.

I have stretched my pouch by a lot. If I eat say chicken I don't get a full signal per se but more like I "I just can't take another bite - yucky" feeling. So I know that it is still there just not a lot of restriction. Would love to be able to go have it tightened up. See if that would help any but that is not an option right now.

I seem to want to eat ALL the time. I have GOT to come up with something to do so that I am not eating. I am not working so I don't have that to fall back on. I am waiting on my disability to come through for mental illness. I have my hearing in April. All the stress just has me eating and drinking exactly what I am not supposed too.

But...again...I have not given up hope. I was able to lose it twice before so third time is a charm eh? One of my problems is I don't attend a support group so I have located my closest in-person support group to attend once a month and I am gonna take my arse to it. Talk about embarrassing but maybe there I will get some much-needed support. Plus I am gonna find me a group on here and make sure that I am interacting on a daily basis. Even just to hold myself accountable. 

I am starting over with a lifestyle change, not a diet. I have my macros set to the level the doc wanted them for my fitness pal. Ready to start tracking my macros. I have already changed up my coke. I am drinking sprite zero and gonna limit myself to one soda a week as a treat for now. In a month or two I will cut it out completely. Make up some sf pudding and jello so that I have something for my sweet tooth and hit the ground running. 

I can do this. I've got this. I will not fail. My first mini goal is 275. Gonna take small steps so that I don't get discouraged and quit. 25-pound increments are my focus. Wish me luck.

1 comment


Sep 14, 2014

So many changes in my life right now. Today was a very happy day for me and that is EXTREMELY rare. I am talking like I can't remember the last time I was honestly happy but I was today and it lasted most of the day. I went to church and haven't been in I don't know how long. I really don't miss the soda. I guess my mind is where is needs to be in regards to that toxic slush. Today was also my grandson's birthday so there was cake. I will admit it won. So that is going to take a little more time to get my head in the right place in regards to that toxic substance but I am very happy with the direction I am headed. It has been a long time in the darkness and I finally see light. I might not necessarily be losing but I feel lighter mentally and that is the start. There are so many more but this is enough to write down today.


Back on Track

Sep 13, 2014

5 days no soda!

Only two slips on junk and I am proud of that so I would say I am back on track. Mind is in the right place. Took me long enough but I am ready to start my new life!


Starting Over

Jul 12, 2014

It has been 3 years and 8 months since I had surgery. I lost over 100 lbs but have gained back half. It's a mental struggle daily with all these issues I have but it is time to start over. Time for me to take control of my life, my weight and my future. So, lets try this again!

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Rough Ride

Apr 16, 2011

It has been almost 6 months out and the surgery has not given me but a few minor complications that is normal for most. I don't dump but I wish I did and I can eat just about anything without a problem. I do have a major problem though, I have severe depression, bi-polar and just found out might as well make it a triple with ADD. So the past two months I have been pushing it with what I have been eating and drinking. I was/am addicted to soda. 

The end of Feb I basically broke and took leave from work. Since then the doctors have changed up and increased meds and I am finally getting a handle on my eating and have stopped the soda. So my weightloss has started back up again and I did not ruin my pouch. I so thought I did. I was so mad at myself on top of everything else. I couldn't believe I was letting my triple decker help me ruin what I fought for so hard. Which depressed me even more and was a vicious cycle cause then I would eat more.

Today I proudly posted a 6 month comparison pic. I am half way there. I will get there. It may be a battle against the triple decker but I won't give up. I am grateful for this site. It has helped me regain my accountability and given me a place to vent and share and receive much needed info. 

About Me
Lawton, OK
Surgery Date
Jan 22, 2010
Member Since

Before & After
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Felt like such a blob and hurt everywhere

Friends 11

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