Charity W.

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What can I say, here I am back again with even more weight to lose. I got down to 228 only to gain it all back again with my stupid choices. I can't seem to stay away from the soda and sweet and overall overeating. I don't dump anymore but I sure wish I did. I have pulled out my paperwork from surgery and made a 2-week menu with the foods that I should be eating and I am gonna do this...again. I am rereading The Body Fat Solution by Tom Venuto on some of the mental aspects as that seems to be a major kicker for me.

I have stretched my pouch by a lot. If I eat say chicken I don't get a full signal per se but more like I "I just can't take another bite - yucky" feeling. So I know that it is still there just not a lot of restriction. Would love to be able to go have it tightened up. See if that would help any but that is not an option right now.

I seem to want to eat ALL the time. I have GOT to come up with something to do so that I am not eating. I am not working so I don't have that to fall back on. I am waiting on my disability to come through for mental illness. I have my hearing in April. All the stress just has me eating and drinking exactly what I am not supposed too.

But...again...I have not given up hope. I was able to lose it twice before so third time is a charm eh? One of my problems is I don't attend a support group so I have located my closest in-person support group to attend once a month and I am gonna take my arse to it. Talk about embarrassing but maybe there I will get some much-needed support. Plus I am gonna find me a group on here and make sure that I am interacting on a daily basis. Even just to hold myself accountable. 

I am starting over with a lifestyle change, not a diet. I have my macros set to the level the doc wanted them for my fitness pal. Ready to start tracking my macros. I have already changed up my coke. I am drinking sprite zero and gonna limit myself to one soda a week as a treat for now. In a month or two I will cut it out completely. Make up some sf pudding and jello so that I have something for my sweet tooth and hit the ground running. 

I can do this. I've got this. I will not fail. My first mini goal is 275. Gonna take small steps so that I don't get discouraged and quit. 25-pound increments are my focus. Wish me luck.

So many changes in my life right now. Today was a very happy day for me and that is EXTREMELY rare. I am talking like I can't remember the last time I was honestly happy but I was today and it lasted most of the day. I went to church and haven't been in I don't know how long. I really don't miss the soda. I guess my mind is where is needs to be in regards to that toxic slush. Today was also my grandson's birthday so there was cake. I will admit it won. So that is going to take a little more time to get my head in the right place in regards to that toxic substance but I am very happy with the direction I am headed. It has been a long time in the darkness and I finally see light. I might not necessarily be losing but I feel lighter mentally and that is the start. There are so many more but this is enough to write down today.

5 days no soda!

Only two slips on junk and I am proud of that so I would say I am back on track. Mind is in the right place. Took me long enough but I am ready to start my new life!

It has been 3 years and 8 months since I had surgery. I lost over 100 lbs but have gained back half. It's a mental struggle daily with all these issues I have but it is time to start over. Time for me to take control of my life, my weight and my future. So, lets try this again!

It has been almost 6 months out and the surgery has not given me but a few minor complications that is normal for most. I don't dump but I wish I did and I can eat just about anything without a problem. I do have a major problem though, I have severe depression, bi-polar and just found out might as well make it a triple with ADD. So the past two months I have been pushing it with what I have been eating and drinking. I was/am addicted to soda. 

The end of Feb I basically broke and took leave from work. Since then the doctors have changed up and increased meds and I am finally getting a handle on my eating and have stopped the soda. So my weightloss has started back up again and I did not ruin my pouch. I so thought I did. I was so mad at myself on top of everything else. I couldn't believe I was letting my triple decker help me ruin what I fought for so hard. Which depressed me even more and was a vicious cycle cause then I would eat more.

Today I proudly posted a 6 month comparison pic. I am half way there. I will get there. It may be a battle against the triple decker but I won't give up. I am grateful for this site. It has helped me regain my accountability and given me a place to vent and share and receive much needed info.