WHEN!!!????

Apr 19, 2009

Tomorrow it will be 5 weeks since I had my surgery.  I still say I WOULD NEVER HAVE GOTTEN THIS DONE IF I KNEW THEN WHAT I KNOW NOW!!!!!

I am still in pain.  I can't lift my arm high as I used to.  Even washing my hair is painful.  I don't want to look at myself in the mirror.  I think I look totally hideous!!!  At times I even have to wear a bra to bed for actual comfort.  Cripe I remember back in the 70's and going WITHOUT a bra.  Now I HAVE to wear one. 

When will this pain stop? 

I started my physical therapy last week.  I have been to one and will go 3 times this week.  I sure as hell hope it helps because I am becoming very VERY discouraged. 

By the time night time comes I just want to collapse on the floor and cry myself to sleep.  I am taking 2 extra strength tylenol for pain because everything else makes me vomit uncontrollably. 

My wonderful cousin, Terry, and I went shopping on Saturday.  I needed new capris because I gave all my other ones to her.  I actually wear a size medium.  On the BMI scale it says I am "overweight", however, I don't want to get down to a size small.  I'm a size medium on the top and bottom and I'm happy with that. 

I did try on short sleeve tops but the arm holes really REALLY bothered my arm where it is tender from the surgery.  I got so very discouraged.  I felt like crying.  Therefore, I had to get tops that were 3/4 sleeves.  I sure hope I won't have to wear that type of sleeve in the summer.  My arms are flabby because of the weight I lost but I'm so much of a chicken to get them done because of the tremendous amount of pain that I'm in already.  Do I want to put myself in that type of pain again?  Did anyone get their arms done?  How were you afterwards?  How was the pain?  Yeah, I know everyone is different but I do need a base line to go on. 

Carbs still bother me.  I get way too filled with them and sometimes it feels like they are getting stuck.  So, I stay away from them as much as possible. 

Enough of me clucking like a chicken!!!!  Only YOU would understand!

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