deniseselah
Remembering surgery 1 month ago today
Jun 06, 2014
Gosh. May 6th was such a day. I was off May 5 - I remember showering with the antibacterial lotion, going to work to do open enrollment, and my starter going out! And me having to have the car towed.
I woke up Tues so excited. Got stuck in awful traffic and got to the office like 15 minutes late. I was so agitated on the way. And then final paperwork, and then they called me back. I stripped and put on the gown and those compression socks, and got into bed.
And then it began to get real, as they came by and put in the IV and talked to me about anesthesia. There were a few seconds where I was just laying there, alone, thinking This is it. This is the final - and somehow first - stop on this journey that I started FIVE YEARS ago, and quit, and then switched programs, and gave up on all together. And beat myself up and did Atkins and Fuhrman ($600 for the MOP!) and accountability partners, and decided to come back to the idea of surgery, and quit TWO MORE times, and finally. All that life, 5 years, had passed, and I had lost the same 25# 3 or 4 times … all I had to show for it was being 5 years older. But. Finally here I am, in the right program, prepped for surgery. About to change my life.
So by the time my friend N came back, I was pretty pensive and quiet. When I saw my surgeon I couldn’t help it - I began to cry. I was overwhelmed. I told him I knew I was in good hands. He said I was going to come through fine. I couldn’t help being emotional. They wheeled me off - the OR was freezing, and that is all I remember.
Surgery was scheduled for 9 - even though I’d showed up late, I was in right on time. My VSG took about 40 min - no complications. That still boggles my mind.
I have vague memories of BEING! IN! PAIN!!! in recovery.
I was very tired when they took me to my room - around 11:30, I think. I don’t remember getting in the wheelchair, but when they got me to my room and told me they would help me out of the chair and into the bed, I was like “You have got to be kidding. There is NO WAY I can get out of this chair. No. Way.” But I did. Man, did it hurt. They hooked up the PCA - I hit it immediately and was out like a light.
My best friend, N, was an absolute angel - always by the bedside, taking care of me. Unfortunately, he took pictures as well! Several friends and my employer sent flowers. Three separate visitors from church came - I am sorry to say I fell asleep on at least two of them.
I was so afraid the hospital was going to accidentally bring food into my room - I would have wretched. I could literally tolerate one small (half-fingernail-sized) pellet of ice at a time - two was too much water! There was another “No. Way.” when it was time for me to walk … but surprisingly, walking made me feel so much better.
Could not get any deep sleep but rested as well as I could. N went home for the night. I had the sweetest overnight nurse, who apologized profusely every time she woke me up for blood and vitals (every 2 hours, all night long).
The next morning - another walk. And as long as I could pee, I could go home. Only, I couldn’t. So I had to drink this vile, awful, disgusting liquid potassium. Ugh. I fell asleep for an hour - felt great when I woke up, went to the bathroom, and was discharged! Rode home with my little pillow on my tummy.
My queen size bed at home was suddenly HUGE, and so hard to get into and out of! It’s funny now, to look back on that, on all of it.
Everyone kept saying “it’ll get better … “ and, by God’s grace, every day I did feel a little bit better. So thankful to be a month out (even though I am in a stall!) and down over 40# from my highest weight. No regrets - even though my heartburn is worse than it was before surgery, it is manageable. All downhill from here.
Bring on month #2!
