Jaime Moore

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OK I am so ready to call the insurance company. How hard is it to say yes. They knew I would have all of this stuff done and turned in to them how hard is it. I really want this surgery. I seen a lady yesterday at Walmart and felt so bad for her. She was in a wheelchair, with a breathing mask on.  Her eyes looked so sad. She lifted her masked to say something to her husband and her voice was deep and wheezy. I couldn't help but think, that would be me in about ten years if I weren't going to have this surgery. I don't want to be like her. I want to be running still at the age of 60. I want to be healthy and happy. I am so anxious to call them, I want to know that I will be healthy. I am so ready to find out. I want to go get it done now. I want it to be over with, I want to be on the losing side. I really would like to stop worrying about getting approved. I want to go to a support meeting now, to make sure all the insecuritiesI'm feeling about getting approved are normal. I honestly do not think I'm gonna get approved. I mean I really do not have any co morbidities other than what I think to be sleep apnea. Yeah I still have a hard time sleeping from that because I'm scared I'm going to die in my sleep. On another note I'm highly emotional right now for some reason. I'm getting upset more so than ever at Jack for spending time with his sister. She doesn't like me, I feel the same about her. This past weekend was the first weekend he's not worked and he spent Saturday with his sister. Now it's Monday and he's at her house again. To pick up his cabbage that he had her cook for him. You know what pisses me off is why does he want another woman to cook his food for him. I'm the one he loves and supposed to be with I'm the one that cooks his dinner every night. Anyway he says it's because I don't know how. Ok yes I know I taught myself how to cook, I know that I don't cook southern enough for him. But I know how to make cabbe I just never have, I know how to make greens I've helped make those before. I feel like if I can't do something for him then he's gonna get someone else to do it. Maybe I'm just being emotional, but I can't help but feel like this. Is this seriously the kind of marriage I want. What happens if I get sick and can't have sex with him will he go get someone else to take my place? I mean I just think that it's weird for him to say I can't do something that he has no clue if I can or not and then have someone else do it for him. I don't like that at all. It really pisses me off but I don't want to fight anymore I fought with him Sunday about spending all day Saturday without me. I just want some quality time with him. I rarely get it. Ok I think Im done venting now. Gotta go cook dinner which is not going to be cabbage.

Did I mention how happy I am it's now 12:12am, Friday July14 and I'm still happy. Jack took me out to dinner tonight, he said he was happy for me. He's proud that I have been keeping the house clean, not smoking, and cooking his dinner every night. I am proud too. I don't really have the energy to do it but it's getting done. I can't wait that mean the insurance company has 15 days from today to approve me. So I should know by the 3rd of August. I hope to know sooner but I hopefully will be able to wait. I know I'll be able to get through this first week, just don't know about after that. I hate waiting. I want to know and I want to know now. Let's pray that I find out this month instead of next. I want to have surgery by the 16th of next month. OK i'm gonna go now, just thought I'd let you know that I'm excited. LOL

Ok It's offical. I AM NOW WAITING! Patrice called at 3:45pm today to tell me everything has been faxed over to the insurance company. YES I can't wait. It's like being excited for my birthday. It's my rebirthday. WHOA! I'm so happy. I can't wait. I did a little research today and everyone that has Difinity has gotten approved, that I checked. I can't wait it's only going to be a short while now. I can't wait, i caqn't think of anything else to write right now so I'm gonna go just remember I'm so happy. Luv Ya lots

I called Patrice just now, she is a wonderful person. I can not tell you how dedicated she seems to be and she's so willing to help. She confirmed that she had recieved everything and is now just waiting on the psych eval. OH GOD. I'm so nervous. Pam the psych lady is only in her office on Tuesdays and Fridays. So I have no way of knowing until Friday if she sent the results out or not. I knew I should have called her yesterday just to make sure. Now I"m worried about it. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt though she said she would send it out over the weekend so I'm going to believe she did just that. So no worries. Hopefully Patrice will receive it today or tomorrow. Hopefully today so that it can be sent to the insurace tomorrow. I wonder if Dr O has to write another letter of necessity. I hope not cuz then it's gonna take forever. Oh well. I know it's gonna be soon though.

Ok it's now Tuesday. I faxed over the endocrine eval today as well as spoke to Patrice. She said that she had just received the results from the cardiologist, pulminary, she is waiting on the endocrine and h pylori and drug and alcohol eval and the psych  eval. Great so the one thing that I was waiting on is the one thing that I now don't need. So Patrice has three of the seven things, cardio and pulmonary , and the dietary. I called the lab where I had the h pylori and the drug screen done and she said she had tried to fax it over the weekend but it didn't go through. So I said I just faxed something and it went through. The girl then refaxed and I asked her to call me if it still didn't go through so I could come pick it up and do it myself. That was about 20 mins ago so hoepfully I won't need to go pick it up. I'm supposed to call Patrice back tomorrow to make sure she has everything. Seems like the only thing i'm waiting on now is the psych eval. This is so nerve racking. I just want it to be over with so that the insurance can approve me. I'm more nervous now that they won't approve me. I want this so badly. I have never recieved anything I wanted. I am keeping my mind clear though and positive. I want this and I will get this surgery no matter what I have to do. I want the energy back, I want to be able to run and walk without hurting. I walked into Winn dixie because my brother said there was a fax in there. There wasn't so the manager whom was doing nothign but standing there suggested I try to pack and ship place at the end of the shopping plaza. It was only about 9 stores down so I decided to walk. O(MG by the time I got there my back, legs, and knees were killing me. Of course this place didn't have anywhere to sit so I had to stand the whole tie while this beautiful thin blond haired woman talked to me and faxed my endocrine eval. I was over and I cme home to sit on my fat behind to make phone calls and type on my pc. Ok I must go now. I guiess I'll write tomorrow after I find out what all Patrice is waiting on. Love you all.

Ok I am offically done. I went to the chest xray ppl. This was easy I had to put on a gown and take off my top and bra. I stood in front of this hard thing that I had to smush my boobs against and them turn to have my left side smushed with my arms over my head. I thought there was something wrong because at the end he asked if I had ever had surgery, mass in my boobs, if I smoked, etc. I was like he was going to tell me theres a massive lump or something on my lungs. He didn't. Hey has anyone else ever been seriously attracted to a doctor. I mean he was tall, young (not too young), Nice body, gourgous face, I was so attracted I had to fight with myself not to rip that gown and my pants off saying take me now. Just kidding but it did cross my mind once!!!
Alas, I have completed all tests and am now waiting for the results to be sent over to Dr. O. I have to pick up the endocrine workup info and fax that over but I'm doing that today though. Called the cardiologist left a message for them to call me back me back. I mean how long does it take for them to look at my heart. They have already had the ekg it's fine. I can tell you there isn't anything wrong atleast I don't feel there is. I have a heart murmur but that's it. I will be calling this doctor every other day. I don't have time to waste with them. I want everything sent in before the 31st. Preferably before the 20th once it's sent in I still have to wait another 15 days for the approval. I'm so excited it seems it almost here. It won't be long now maybe about a month. The months have been going by so fast anyway. I hope it won't be long before I have surgery. I want it to be next week. I wanted it to be before the kids went back to school because I know they would make me take them on daily walks. They love being outside. I am getting ready to take them for a bike ride now. SO I'll see ya later alligator.

How was everyone's fourth of July. I had a great time. I was a little upset because I couldn't fit into anything that was red white and blue but it was great. I so didn't know you could buy fireworks here in Florida. Well we over spent by a couple hundred bucks on the fireworks. I love em!!! Jack and my brother Justin put on a great show, they were even better than the professional fireworks. You know they were lame last year too. Anyway we (the kids, Jack, Justin, Nichole and I) BBQ'ed and at the same time shot off some bottle rockets. If you never buy them you'd be doing yourself a favor. We bought the most expensive kind Black Cat and they flew wherever they wanted to. I would never buy them again. Then we went down to the river and shot off all the fireworks. We had the big ones and they were so pretty. The kids had a blast lighting these huge rockets with a punk ofcourse and the sparklers. I can't wait until next year. I plan on buying bigger and better things. I really had fun. I didn't even drink or anything. I have swore off drinking now because 1 I don't want to be labled as a cheap date after surgery and 2 I'm scared that after surgery I might become an alcoholic. I have read so many profils that say they became alchies because of not being able to eat. I don't want to turn to other things. I don't do drugs, I only drink occassionaly now, and I want to keep it that way. I don't want to be like some of the other people that lose thier eating addiction only to hvae a different addiction take hold of them. That's ridiculus. I mean I understand that some peopl have addictiong personalities, but why turn to drugs? Why not do something creative like bikeing, running, walking, something good for you. I already know I'm going to dust my treadmill off. I can't wait. I can't wait to be able to walk without pain and then to run again. OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH that would be great. I told Andrew that I would definitly run with him after. He's as excited about surgery as I am. I know I shouldn't have told them but I couldn't help myself. Kaylynn is excited she wants to go shopping and pick out matching outfits. I'm just hopeing I'll be able to wear somthing that small. I bought a size ten but I don't really think I'd get down to that. I was thinking a size 12 but now I'm convinced the smallest would be a size 14/16. It's not that bad I guess. I think I have really huge bones so there is no way I'm ever gonna be thin maybe thick but never thin.
Ok the day has arrived for the stupid pych eval. It like 1230am and my appointment is at 1115am. I am so nervous and can't sleep. I want it to be over with and I want to get the go ahead on my surgery. This is so stressful. I've been keeping my mind off of things so I haven't really been that stressed, but now knowing that this is the last step to getting surgery is kinda freaking me out. This woman has the authority to say no way, Jaime is too crazy for surgery, we had to lock her up right away. Jack says I'm crazy for even thinking of such things, but I  can't help it. It's scary. Oh well. I'm anxious, nervous, excited, and scared all at the same time. I want it to be over already but I don't want to go. I want it to be easy but again I don't want to go. I hope I'm just freaking myself out for no reason everyone says I am. I guess I'll let you know how it went after the fact if they don't lock me up in a crazy institute.

Later Same Day
Yes again I psyched myself out for nothing. I went Pamela Bratton in Port Orange. She was very nice and calm. She didn't have a couch or a big desk. She did write everything that I said down though. She never asked about childhood or that crap. She basically asked when I started gaining weight and what diets I've done and succeded at. How I'm doing emotionally, what I'm doing now to change and what after the surgey will I be doing to lose weight and keep it off. I went in there and told her I was nervous and she said it's understandable. I was on the edge of my chair the whole time waiting for her to say something to indicate that i was crazy so I could run out of the door! LOL, it never happend. Ok so we talk for like 45mins and then she hands me three packets to fill out. The questions on these things are hilarious...Do you ever hear voices other people don't hear. Umm yeah it's my conscious! Do you have a hard time distinguishing reality from fiction. Yeah it's called I can not believe that guy/ girl is wearing that! Do you ever feel like beating, hurting, or causing pain to others. Everyday I drive, DUH. No but seriously the questions were hilarious and I am happy to say that I am officially NOT DONE. I realized today that I had to do seven things not 6.
1. h. pylori test                       ---               done 7-7-06
2. Endocrine Workup               ---               done 6-21-06
3. Psychological eval               ---                done 7-7-06
4. Dietary consult                    ---                done 6-29-06
5. Chemical/ alcohol screening ---                done 7-7-06
6. Cardio/Pulmonary eval         ---                done 6/30 & 7-10-06
I though the cardio part was the stress test and the pulmonary part was the echo. How dumb was I. Luckily though I can go in Monday the 10th at 7:30am. THANK YOU JESUS.I made a mistake but the Lord helped fix it. I'm serious call any doctor here and ask them how soon you can get in. It's months. I am so happy. So I guess that's it. I am still waiting on the results from the echo to see if there is anything wrong with my heart. Though there isn't. Anywasy I will write later. Love ya lots.

Sorry I couldn't write last night but Jack was on the pc playing some stupid fighting game. Anywho, I went to the dietian yesterday in Ocala. Before I continue with this story let me tell you how retarded some of these drivers are. Hwy 40 is a two lane road, the posted speed limit is 60. Ok I left my friends house with plenty of time to get to Ocala and eat and then go to my appointment. Well I'm doing great all the way into Astor, 75 all the way.Right outside of Astor there is first a truck with some older people taking thier sweet time going 55 (Nothing wrong with that). I pass them I'm hungry and want to have time to eat. So I get back up to 75 when I come upon a RV, he is going 60. Fine you know whatever I'll just pass him. So I pull over to the left and there's cars coming and I pull back. I pull over to the left again and see a huge truck (semi) and in front of that a school bus.;< All going 60.Ok fine. I'll wait because I know that there are those passing lane things. Unfortunatly I did not know how far away they were from me. So I was going 60 all the way to the passing lanes. I know I should have taken time to go the speed limit but I never drive the speed limit it's almost like my body won't allow me.LOL anyway I didn't have time to eat and got there 5 min's late. I get there at 235 and don't get into the dietian's office until five after 3. That's fine but when I get in there its the same thing every other doctor has asked. What type of diets have you tried, what are your goals for after surgery, who do you have for support, etc. I've been asked this so many times that it's imprinted on my brain now, I would probably be able to tell you all the info fifty years from now. Repetition is not always a good thing. I'm  not saying ti was bad because I did learn some things like, I just assumed that you would have to take protein shakes for forever. Not true just for a while until you can eat solid foods again. The protein reccommendations are: less than 3 grams of fat and 5 grams of sugar, and at least 20 grams of protein. So I got that out of it. I also told her what my primary said about the surgery (she says that I may only lose 5 pounds with the gastric bypass, it's the easy way out, I'd have to go to the doctors every three months for the rest of my life, and that I should instead of eating 1900 calories a day only eat 1000) the dietian said she must be on crack. That's what I've been saying. I love my pcp, she's a great doctor, but when it comes to matters of the weight she's ignorant. I think it's sad because how many other people has she told the same thing. I've been working on this packet of info from all sources to give to her to hopefully help her see the light. Some people you just can't change though. Anyway I honestly think that I will do excellent with the surgery. I have full confidence in myself along with all my friends. Jennifer whon babysat for me yesterday was telling me about how all the people who have it look gross because they look sick. I'm like who. I've met so many people before and after surgery that don't look sick. I know it can happen there are a few that won't take thier vitamins and won't eat healthy yeah but that is rare in my opinion. She is I guess trying to make me no want to have it. What ever and then she says yesterday that if the insurance doesn't approve me then I'll just have to take her shopping with the money for the surgery I've saved. Man whatever, I plan on appealing and then going to a lawyer. I'm getting this surgery. It may suck having to do all this stuff but I'm sure it's so the insurance company knows I am completly healthy. That's alright with me. Oh man before I go I have to tell you about the echo today. I don't even know why they can it an echo it's an ultra sound what ever though. It was so cool. I got to hear what it sounds like when my blood goes through my heart and into my veins. How cool is that? I can't wait to do it again when I'm like 80. It's so cool and I got to see my heart at all different angles. So cool and I hear my heart beat. Kalylynn went in with me and she was just stuck on me having to show my boobs. She said it was cool after we got out of the office though. Modern medicine is so awesome. Ok luv ya lots

Well here it is a week later and I'm still scrambling around trying to get everything done. I hate waiting on everyone else. Ok lets see what I had to do
                         1) H Plori Test
                         2) Endocrine Workup
                         3) Alcohol and Drug screen
                         4) Psych eval
                         5) Dietary consult
                         6) cardio/ pulminary eval

Out of those six things I've fully completed 1, the endocrine workup. It's kinda dissappointing when I look at it that way. I honestly feel like trying to have this surgery is depressing me more than anything else. I can not believe how stressful all this is, expecially knowing I only have 45 day to do it and have it submitted to the insurance company. I'm trying not to let it get me down though. I knew when I started I would have to prove myself to the insurance company how badly I want this surgery. I guess I didn't realize that I would have to be on everyone elses time and terms. I figured it would be like two weeks worth of labs, and doctors and then submitting to the insurance. However it's proven to be completly different. I have to wait for this and that. I have to do all kinds of test that to me are just ridiculus. For instance I am only 25 I am overall healthy other than being overweight and having hip, knee, and back pain (caused ofcourse by being overweight) and I need a full cardio workup? Seriously. Like I could see someone that's older and has high cholesterol or something but a healthy young person. Ok and honestly a psych. I would imagine maybe this isnt correct but anyway that if I was in any way unstable or mentally unable to handle things I would have already been seeking the help of a psych. Am I wrong. Yeah theres going to be a hell of alot of changes going on with me my family my friends and just everything, but change is good. I'm used to change. I mean I used to move every six months and change schools that often as well. I still came out ok. I'm not a hermit, I like most people most of the times. I know I'm a bitch but that's just my personality. I'm not majorly upset or depressed or anything. I rarely get stressed I rarely get depressed. I mean trying to have this surgery is probably the first time I've been stressed in a year. I've slipped into a slight depression and am able to pull myslef out of it just as easliy. I don't really get depressed, just a little down. I'm seriously thinking this psych lady is going to try and say that I shouldn't have surgery because I don't let things bother me. Oh well. Anyway tomorrow I go in to walk on a treadmill I hope it's not going to hurt me to bad. I've been trying to get up and move this whole week. I actually got my whole house clean in one day.YES!!! I think I am losing some weight, not that I can tell or anything but maybe a pund or two. Ok so I'll talk to you tomorrow after I have my stress test. Love you all lots.

June 28, 2006
Hola. How is everyone? I'm good. I went to get the stress test done today. That was fun. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. They hooked me up to this ekg machine that was connected to a computer and a treadmill. The nurse took my blood pressure which was good then had me get on the treadmill. It started off at 1.7 mph and my heart rate was like 150 or something after three minutes the treamill went up to 2.5 mph. Please keep in mind that the treadmill was at a 12% incline. So it was all uphill baby. At 2.5mph my heart rate was like 163 but after three minutes it went to 3.4mph. OMG that was hard. Unfortunatly I could only do a minute of that so my heart rate was like in the low 170's. I got off and the nurse who was contstantly checking my blood pressure again checked it. I sat there and rested for 3 minutes before she let me wait for the doctor to come in. I was then told by the cardiologist that my heart was in seemingly perfect condition and there was no reason I wouldn't be able to have surgery. YES the answer I was hopeing for. WHOA!!!!!!!! (I'm easily excited!) So that part is complete almost.  I still have to go to get an echo done on Friday. Tomorrow I go to the dietary class I think that's at like 2 in Ocala. So by Friday I will have three of the six things done. Yeah for me. Then I will go on Friday the 7th to have my psych test and labs done. After that I can hopefully submitt to the insurance company. At least as long as the pych doesn't find me crazy and commit me. LOL. Well I guess that's all folks. Let you know how the dietary class goes tomorrow.

I got a call today from the psych and I have an appointment with her on Friday the 7th of July. I am so HAPPY. So that's five of six that I have appointments for. Let's hope I can make it to them without any problems. Tomorrow 6/21 I go for my endocrine workup. I just want to know what they do, is it blood work, do you have a cat scan, do you have an x-ray? What is it? So I'm like freaking out because I don't know what it is I'm getting myself into. Update after I get home. Adios

June 21, 2006
I went for my endocrine workup today. I psyched myself out for no reason. All it was, was basically lab work. I'm actually wondering if I could have gotten it all done at a lab instead of going to yet another doctor. So out of the six things I have to do I have one down. I did gain 10 pounds according to thier scale. I don't know whats wrong with me. In Decemeber and January I weighed 298, February 304 March 310 May 316.5 June 326. I seem to just gain weight. I haven't been really eating just drinking. I bet it's from all those empty calories from soda and sweet tea. Oh well. On Monday the 26th I have my cardiologist appointment at 10. Then on the 27th I have my dietary class and nutrionalist class.On the 7th of July I have my psych eval. And sometime in between now and then I have to have my blood work done.  I'm so excited it's not gonna be much longer now. I cant wait. I'm starting to have doubts that I'll be approved. Like maybe I'm just not lucky enough to have this surgery. I'm trying not to keep thinking that way but it's really hard. I mean it's been a month since my initial consultaion and I still don't have all that I need to resubmit to the insurance company. I think trying to get this surgery is more stressfull that anything else. I almost never get stressed and this is just doing a number on me.That probably has to help with me gaining weight too. Friday is the support meeting. I'm so excited and ready to go. I want to be able to meet people in person that have been where I am today. Maybe some encouragement. Jack hasn't really been talking about it and when I bring it up he's like you shouldn't be so hung up on it until after you've been approved. So I really can't talk to him about what I'm feeling. Oh well though. Talk to you tomorrow.