elizalde

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

A gym membership has been an ardent desire of mine for the past year.  However, every time my husband and I looked at the finances, it was never a possibility.  Then my sister told me all about Costco's sale on a gym membership.  After checking it out and making sure it was legitimate, and it is, i bought it.  We gave up movie rentals and our annual pass to Disneyland.  I think it is worth it!!!!

I went to the complimentary 45 minute trainer instruction and was not thrilled.  The trainer assumed I wouldn't want to be weighed or measured, which I did want, by the way.  When she learned I was going to have bariatric surgery she screwed up her face and asked "why?" I told her, "Because I am morbidly obese, that's why!"  I can still hear her condescending  voice saying, "well you should at least try working out first, have you even tried?"  Her question really bothered me.  I told her I had tried, many times, with no success.  I told her I had tried many diets, many drinks, starving myself, working with a personal trainer, and colonic, all with little or no lasting results.  Finally, stated my goals and told her she can assist me by measuring and weighing me, and then figuring out what my maximum heart rate should be.  Because really, that's all I needed from her.

While we were doing all of that she continued to lecture me on the evils of surgery assisted weight loss, the benefits of proper eating, (not diet), increase strength training for better metabolism, and tried to convince me that with her training I could loose the weight.  I thanked her for the information and explained that before having the surgery, I am required to attend five months of classes.  I told her the classes cover good nutrition, diet both pre- and post-op, portion control, and exercise.  After which, I listed the numerous mental health topics the classes also covers.  Then, I smiled and sweetly asked, "How much of that is covered in your training sessions?"  To which, she didn't have a ready answer.  Yeah, I might book session with her, the day pigs fly! 

 So, I will go to the gym, use the elliptical, do some strength training and water aerobics.  These are things I can do now at my current weight.   When I am lighter, I will do more.  I want to build some muscle and tone my body, eventually.  When I look into the future, I see myself, fit, trim, and healthy.  Maybe I will become a trainer.  If I do, I won't smirk at anyone, that's for sure!

Cool!  Look what I got.
http://www.sclaweightloss.com/sleeve-gastrectomy/ .

I have been wanting to connect with people who are post op with a sleeve.  I got this from onw of my new OH friends blog.  I am so happy!

I finally had to say something, because I just couldn't stand it anymore!  Every week it is the same song and dance at class.  The questions are all along the same vane.  "How long until we have the surgery?"  "Which surgeon has a short waiting list?"  "Do we have to lose 10 percent of our weight?"  "Why is the surgery wait so long?"  AHHHHHHHHH!!!

So, up went my hand, before I could stop myself.  I made the following statement and asked a question... "It took me a few years to get to my size, so I don't expect to lose it quickly.  I am okay with waiting for my turn because it gives me more time to prepare my mind for my new lifestyle and habits."  I said.  "Am I missing something here?  Am I the only one in this class that is not in a hurry for the quick fix?" I asked.  I looked around expecting the bombardment of snide remarks, chuckles and side-ways glances.

Here are some of the responses:

     *  It seems like we are always waiting!
     *  I might gain back the weight I have worked so hard to lose before I get a surgery date.
     *  It took such a long time just to get into the program, to begin with.  It's been hurry up and wait.
     *  I am ready to go now, so what's the hold up?
     *  Yeah, it took a while to get here, its going to be 20 weeks to finish the classes, and I see light at the end of the tunnel, just need to get through the tunnel to the other side.
     *  I guess it is because I am motivated to do it now, who knows how I will feel later.

Really?  Is that all they got?  Sorry, but all of those responses seemed petty, short sighted and unhealthy to me.  The good news is, there were a number of classmates that have similar thoughts like mine.  Hallelujah! I am not alone. 

We started discussing the long term changes we will NEED to make in order to be successful.  Reinforcing the fact that our mindset MUST change before the surgery.  Also, we talked about how making good habits a pattern in our lives NOW will benefit us both before and after surgery. 

I am so glad I finally spoke up.  I found I wasn't alone, and some people may be setting themselves up for disappointment.  I really enjoy the Bari classes.  I always learn something new.  Thank God for these classes!

This morning my brother-in-law and I were talking about all the wonderful new, healthy things I have been learning from my Bari-classes at Kaiser.  He commented on how much I have learned and am sharing with the people I love.  He is right.

I have been talking a lot about healthy living, exercising more, portion control and the emotions of eating.  I knew most of these things.  I had learned them before, when I was younger and skinnier.  I hadn't forgotten them, I just didn't apply them.  I am determined to apply them from now on.  I have lost 6 pounds since I started on this journey.  Six pounds is a big deal for me, so I am very proud.   Then he said something that really made me think.  He said, "Wow, you have a lot of issues, you know... scars, relating to your weight."  Hmmm, Really?  I started to think about it and I have to say I almost started crying, right then and there.  I realized for the first time, weight has been a significant factor in my life.  Let me share with you some of my "Ouchies."

First, there are my teenage years.  Life was centered around cute boys and skinny girls.  I was always every-body's friend, the funny girl who had cute friends.  I hated it!  None of the boys took the time to really look at me and appreciate the beautiful girl I am.  They focused on my size.  They liked my big butt and big breast, but they didn't want a relationship with me.  I would pine after the cute guys and wonder why they preferred the air-headed, sluts.  I never dated the good looking guys, I went for a sure thing...the geeks. 

Next, my voice is very soothing and rich.  I have always been complimented on the sound of my speaking voice.  When I worked customer service for various companies, I was always getting hit on by the customer/clients.  They wanted to meet me, invited to fly me out to their town or promised to stop by when they were in town.  I even got a marriage proposal!  Oh, I should say that I worked the phone lines...we didn't do business in person.   Very few of these guys made good on their promises.  I remember one, particularly memorable experience.  He showed up at the receptionist desk with flowers, a box of chocolate and an insistent invitation to lunch.  I told the receptionist I would meet him in the lobby, she was very excited for me and whispered, "He is cute! Lucky girl."  I was impressed and enjoyed the envy in her voice.  Upon arriving to the lobby, I extended my hand to shake his and introduced myself.  His face froze, then fell into a confused frown.  Trying to recover, he shoved the flowers and candy at me.  Taking two steps back, he muttered pleasantries and niceties.  Embarrassed, I thanked him and explained that I had too much work and couldn't go to lunch with him, but offered him a rain check.  Relieved, he turned and practically ran out of the building.

I have been told, my resume is great and had many invitations to interview.  But for some "unknown" reason, I don't get the job.  I was actually told to either fix my hair and make up, so that is more flattering or else loose weight.  Yeah, I didn't want that job!  So, I went back to school, thinking I should beef up my resume and experience.  My classmates where all younger than and had no real life outside of parties and friends.  They all seemed shallow and unfeeling.  I was outcast for my age and weight.  Despite this, I remained friendly and helpful.  At the end of our training, we had all become close, but it took a lot of effort on my part.  Luckily I choose a profession that is based on math and output.  I did well and succeeded, but the hurt remains.

I will quickly mention some of the things said to me by friends, family and well meaning strangers:
    *  You have such a nice personality, too bad your big.
    *  Your so lucky, you found a man who likes fat girls to marry you.
    *  If you lost weight, you would be so pretty.
    *  Wow!  You really let yourself go!
    *  Have you ever thought about doing Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Nutri-system., etc.,?
    *  You are so solid.
    *  Loose weight and you might get a job.
    *  I didn't recognize you...you look so, um, different.

Yeah, I have some scars, so what's a few more?  Having the surgery won't take these scars away, but it will help me.  I will use my new tool and fashion myself into the me I am supposed to be.  God gave me a perfect sized stomach, and I stretched it.  Now a surgeon will return it to the way it was intended.  The scars from the surgery will be welcomed scars.  They will be of my choosing!
 

I have just completed class #12 in the Kaiser Bariatric "Options" program.  I came into this not sure if I wanted to have the surgery.  Convinced I could lose my weight without the surgery.  Now, I know I will have the surgery, (God willing), but am not sure which would be best for me. 

I am 130 pounds over weight, and I have information telling me the Reux and Y is the best option for me.  In order to lose most of my weight in the shortest amount of time, I would have to have the bypass.  However, it seems like too drastic for me.  Leaning more toward the gastric sleeve, but knowing less weight would be dropped keeps me second guessing.

Even with the bypass, only 50% of the weight comes off!?!  That is only 65 pounds.  That would put me at 195 pounds... My goal weight is 130 pounds.  I would be very happy at 150 pound, though. 

The last time I weighed 150, I was graduating from high school, June, 1988.  Wow! I gained 110 pounds in 21 years.  When you look at it that way, then 65 pounds dropped in one year is not a bad way to do it.  I wish I could find people with my same weight, height and age, post-op success in both surgery options.  Then I can compare and make a more informed decision.

Today, I rode my bkie to class, 1+mile. Yay, me!  I learned that I need to make a lifelong commitment to healthy living and eating.  I need to replace bad habits with good ones.  My brain can be my biggest ally or my biggest threat! 

Still lots to think and pray about.

    It has been nine weeks since I started this journey to weight loss.  I have given up soft drinks, I "move" everyday, (well. not for 20-30 minutes, though), and still I have lost only 4 pounds.  I guess the positive in this is that I haven't gained a pound.  So , I have decided to start a food and exercise journal.  Maybe that might help.

     I am really learning alot from the Options class at Kaiser.  So I'll just list them for future reference.

     *  My meals should consist of more greens:  1/2 the plate should contain greens, non starchy vegetables, with 1/4 protien and the other 1/4 carbohydrate/starch.

     *  I need to be mindful and eat low fat foods:  Reading labels is a must!  3 grams of fat per 100 calories is the rule of    thumb.  For example, 1 serving per pack, 140 calories, fat should be less than 3grams.  (calories/100*3=grams of Fat).

     *  Stay away from foods with high Trans and Saturated fat.  Especially partially hydrogenated fat!

     *  Preparing and planning my food for the day and the week, helps me stay on track.

     *  Stay within a 1500 to 1200 calorie diet.

     *  The surgery is a tool, not a problem solver!  in the first year the credit for weight loss is 90% surgery - 10% me, year 2 and on it is 10% surgery - 90% me.

Ok, so for three weeks I will record what I eat and the portions.  Hopefully I can find out why I haven't loss anymore weight.  Fingers crossed, prayers said...

After 5 weeks of taking Bari classes at Kaiser, I decided to look into this site.  Many people in the class have so much to say about it.  I wanted to see for myself what it is all about.  So far, I like what I see.  I especially like this part... I need a place to journal and track  whatever progress I make.

So let's see, what do I want to write about?

Okay, important stats:  I am 39 years old.   At 5'3", I weigh 260lbs.  I am in my 14th year of marriage.  I weighed 180lbs when I met my hubby.  In 1986, when I was a sophmore in high school, I was at my fitest and best weight of 135lbs.  My goal is to weigh 160lbs and fit into a size 12.  I would love to shop in regular stores and buy clothes off the rack!  Back in the day, I was involved in many sports.  I would like to be able to join a league again. 

I guess this is a good start.  I am learning alot in the classes.  I have lost 4 pounds since I started.  Yay me!  I have cut all soft drinks out of my diet, and am trying to get 30 minutes of "movement" a day. 

I don't know which surgery I want, or even if I want surgery.  I have until November 2009 to decide.  My hope is that I will lose so much weight before then that I won't have to have surgery.  However, I want to be well informed before makng that decision.

My husband is very uncertain of my having the surgery.  He loves me, as is.  I haven't said anything to my six year old son.  That conversasion can wait.  No need to make him nervous or worried. 

Oh, I want to get pregnant.  I don't think that is likely to happen, though.  I am very sad, upset and angry about that!  But, there is always adoption, thankfully. 

That is pretty much it for now.  Peace Out!