FireFightersWife

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

Been so long again, I keep venturing back here. For most, in the begining of all this, it consumes daily life, thinking, talking, researching, planning, details details! life on here was ALL the time. Now.. I over 6 years out..and well..I been there done that type of thing. I still did not have plastic surgery for anything. I am now taking more steps.. but will see how the cards unfold. I am still at my 20lbs regain, but maintaining for few years since I gained and I think I will be ok. my lowest scale number was 164 on home scale, but my surgeon has me at 172lbs as lowest on record, so I am 182/184 give or take that is under 15 lbs. I still am not happy. Normal ppl do not get the obsession and great disappointment at even 5 lbs! Anyhoo I am going to read and look at my history here, what a journey this has been, and will continue for rest of my life...it is LIFE LONG..not temporary and not a fad..this is real life . Thank you all for reading..and I hope I have helped anyone during the time of going thru this and continue to help with my documentation of my surgery.

I have not been here for so long. I regret that. I did not have internet for longest time. but I had a cell phone so no excuse. I have some bad news. I gained like 20 lbs. I am depressed over it. I am not sure if the depression I been in caused it. I lost a few family members that is very close to me. Been few months since last one. I still am having grieving problems. I see a therapist now too. I am able to eat some bad foods now. like cake and cookies and more carbs. I feel so so awful. I am like hungry all the time. NOT head hunger I am seriously having growling in my belly. I fear of stretching my pouch as I can eat larger portions. I know it is expected to eat more by year out but I can eat almost same as before I had surgery.. I freak out over this. My surgeon did a dye xray thing where they see the pouch and intestines. She said it is size of large egg.. ok.. but I think she was being nice because when I was in the hospital last summer..severe pain in right side...they scoped me..and the Dr whos not a bariatric surgeon said my pouch was as big as her fist !!!!!!! ok who do I believe.... either way I feel bigger.. Im retaining fluids.. I bought otc water pills to help with swelling and they are not doing anything.. ugh.. I am embarrassed to call my surgeon.. I am also going to try and see a plastic surgeon..praying insurance covers what I need done. Anyways this is me at the moment..... have a Happy New Year!

I have a serious problem with keeping up with blogs! SO.. alot has happened in my life.. some personal and heartbreaking, and events involving my 15 year old son.. Im thinking of doing a blogspot or something on my general life..hmm who knows.. but.. my son just had reconstructive surgery monday at childrens hospital in pittsburgh..they are awsome! ok..reason..he stabbed himself..I can laugh NOW.. but pretty serious..complete severe of flex tendonin left hand thumb, it retracted down into hand.. 1 hr surgery, went very well..but found out a serious allergy to morphine..scared me so bad.. m y son was like..ehh whats wrong with me..calm..lol.. SO 4 months of therapy.. anyways.. about ME! I almost lost my marriage in aug.. extreme personal... working all out..and doing much better.. and he and I are RENEWING our vows! new me, new us.. fits in so well..he surprised me for christmas by taking me to JB robinson international diamond jewler..yes I researched..and created a new engagement, wrap and wedding band.. got the band paid off, the rest is on payments...will be out soon.. and its beautiful! I dont care about diamonds..but wow.. So planning a renewal on our actual date..JUNE 18th 2014... summer themes beach water..but not really..we wed beachside with just us, the comissioner and the kids.. still in navy at time..so parents never witness, father never walked me down the isle, and never had a wedding reception, a first dance or cake.. SO we are ssurprising our family..and im adding a bonus.. a memorial for his father who passed while he was in the navy and never got to say goodby,, so it will be a special dinner with a special way of having his father there in memory.. this wont be anything glitzy, simple, pretty, budget friendly and family oriented...but.. I will definitly stand out with the new me.. I went from a 24/26 NOW fitting into 10s and some 12..heck a 14 will fit if made right.. and last night I tried on my soon to be 11 yr olds size 6 in women skirt..and it fit..just had to arrange some skin..lol.... SO this year is going to be saving, budgeting, planning a fun summer with the family..and I now can fit the rides..but cant ride them! serious spinal damage..need cane and wheel chair.. ugh.. but.. I got back into hobbies, crocheting, doing my nails yes acrylics..but takes alot longer to do them due to hand tremors and fibromyalgia and of course arthritis.. but I painted them so pretty.. Ill have to upload some pics.. which I have not uploaded any recent pics lately... will see if can upload to this laptop.. other than this.. most of my days Im on heating pad..spinal pain..and in my woman cave..my bedroom with remote, satellite tv, cell phone.. drink stash.. bathroom 2 feet from bedroom door.. heck..I am doing good..lol.. I been bad on exercising though...pain alot in my back.. Been keeping dumbell weights new bed and using this sitting at bed side..and doing what I can.. but cant walk far..miss walking.. but I will get there.. even if I walk 2 feet and drop..get back up..keep going..and we are joining a family group rate plan at the ymca and a pool center near home.. Im buying new picnic tables and outdor grill..serious need one..and alot of outdoor stuff..IF weather is not too dreadful hot..if so..grilling will be at sundown..haha.. SO another topic.. I had to be on antidepressants and have increased and anxiety meds.. they are helping.. so much stress this past fall and holidays.. and I found I can eat more..scares me.. I been hungry more..and my diabetes did come back..but not bad..I just have reactive hypoglaucimic heck however its spelled..so whether I feel like eating I have to.. and I gained 5 pounds over holidays! freaking me out..it had to be the potatoes n gravey..omg yummm.. SO cut them back and redirected my eating to fix the problem..1 pound down..yay! Ok so Tv viewing is my other past time...Real house wives of Alanta, and New jersey..Heck I even watched Snooki..yeah I know.. I even got twitter!!!!!! hahahaaa..I was so lost on using it..but getting swing of it... look me up..FFWIFE247 is my handle.. I also got email.. [email protected] I do not do alot of personal msg alot..but I try..so busy with kids, husband.. crafting.. Drs appointments, fixing myself..and watching TV! .. Im not embarrassed to say I like tv now.. and reading.. I love to keep reading.. Anyways..going to read boards and get to bed! GOD BLESS!

Last blog about 4 months, give take some days.. Had alot go on, including extremely depressing events, life changing and Im still taking each day with each moment. It has even effected my healthy eating, I am right now in moment of sick to stomache and not getting enough in, trying to increase shakes for protien, but want to vomit now.. told its from emotions, ..extreme stress can do alot.. I see my PCP tomorrow, He has been not knowing what to do with me but last visit had been very supportive and understanding. So then I also have another visit for routine with my surgeon in Dec I believe, but if I can't eat, may have to be sooner to see if its is really from the life stressing events that taken place not long ago and I am still managing.. But. focus here.. I am at 165 maintaining..ok depends on if I have jeans on at Drs..lol.. I can be 168.  I also been updated on family medical health.. I got so much to look forward to with the poor genetics in my family. Ok lets talk positives. My Daughter's broken foot is healed, dance class here we come all 5 of them..lol.. My 1st born and 3rd born are being home schooled, much positives there. my 2nd born is still public and in AFJROTC program and has done a 360 with his outlook on life.. awsome! My hair is still growing back. had my first "trim" to help healthy growth and cant wait til it is long again...(was to butt) . My oldest got his junior hunting license whoohooo..he is onto driving next, he turned 16..wish I could have done tiara and pink candles..but..he preferred beef jerky and friends..lol.. So not sure what else to update.. but this is me today.

WHOA... I can eat more now... no surprise.. expected this. But have to keep extra eye out so to not go over my limit an sabbatoge anything. I am going to stick to a light eatting plan this week.. weather is hot and I am enjoying the AC..indoors and seeing what I can create avoiding the stove..lol.. Fresh foods and bakin lil as possible sounds great to me! even though I am sitting here munching on cheese..haha.. salads and fresh fruit smoothies.. yum!