Time has flown by

Jun 08, 2009

Wow time has kind of flown by.  I remember thinking this weight is taking so long to come off.  But really it hasn't.  It's been really fast.  In six months I have lost 100 lbs in six months, as of today 108.8 That is amazing, actually astounding...I gained really fast but not as fast as I lost it and without the blessing of having RNY surg I would probably still be extremely morbidly obese.  I still can't believe that I let myself get so large, injuries or not.  How did it happen?  Maybe alot of things. But today I posted the following on the main board: ugghk my thighs
  I always say to myself that I am trading in unhealthiness for saggy skin.  But boy oh boy....This is TMI but I had to go to the ladies room and squat and had opportunity to see the sagginess from a new prospective. Oh my goodness what a horrendous sight. OMG OMG OMGoodness!!! What the hell.  I need some excercises if they actually work.  I have a mantra going on in my head at least i'm getting healthy, but I wanna puke at the image of my thighs...never a bathing suit again. Or should I just not care what others think of me wearing one...and just enjoy life and my water sports uninhibited.  What are my options.
   Board shorts were placed as a reponse to my rambling and I think that will be a great option.  I am seriously self conscious of my thighs. Why wasn't I as self conscious of my 286# thighs.  All I can think of is what kind of surgery I can get,  how much will it cost and will the scars that replace the extra skin be worth it.  Does the means justify the end?  I'm not sure.  Who will see me naked and how will I feel about it. Just alot of rambling thoughts.  But the flip side is I am a healthier person and I hope my children learn from my mistakes and I hope people see this to know this isn't a magic bullet that changes you to have a slim sexy body in hollywood, model and video girl standards, but you will if you follow your Dr's and nutritionists orders you will be more healthier happier person.  Happier is relative to your what is most important to you.  To me being around along time to watch my kids, kids be born and graduate, get married and so on without them having to take care of me is happiness.  Pure joy...One of my greatest fears is to be a burden on someone.  I love them more than I love myself so I am doing this as much for myself as I am for them.   So saggy thighs or whatever else will have to just be whatever they are, unless I come into some money for plastic surgery and the pain and scars seem to justify the end. 

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