grisaille

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Well, I have now lost a hundred pounds - what a nice mile marker. 

And this was despite hovering here for a while - my exercise has bee hindered quite a bit by knee that I had pool physyical therapy with and that didn't help enough so I just completed my last of 3 shots of Synvisc at Duke (it's a gel).  Then I managed to really rip up my slightly torn rotator cuff in my shoulder (thank goodness it was my left one).  I get an MRI next week to see if there is any muscle left that I can work on in PT or if surgery will have to be done.

After lunch a couple of days ago, my husband pulled into a parking space which confused me I thought we were headed home.  He pointed at Catherines and said "Go in there and get a pair of jeans and a couple of shirts that FIT !"  So I did go in the store and it was nerve-wracking.  I've been working my way through my closet from 32W jeans to 28 to 26 and then I ran out.  So I picked out a couple of 24W and since my smallest shirts were 3X, I grabbed a couple of 2X.s.  I'm not much of a shopper and have done the bulk of my shopping online for quite some time.

So I put on the clothes in the dressing room and honestly just could not tell if they were fine or too loose or WHAT . . . So I asked the sales clerk to check me out and she just shook her head and came back with a couple of 1X shirts and some 22W jeans.  And I admit I thought NO WAY - but they fit   And yes, I got a little misty-eyed. 

I got married 32 years ago in an 18W and I'm headed that way.  So we took a picture when we got home and it is in the after photo album.  I don't know why I was so surprised as my waist has gone from almost 60 inches to 43 inches now - and that would be a very different pair of jeans indeed.

I have had 2 upper endoscopies to stretch strictures (3 weeks apart) and so I finally got over the extreme nausea and vomiting.  And now my stomach seems all stretched out - I can eat so much more.  Plus I know from what I read on the results of the barium swallow that the radiologist thought my stomach was pre-op size.   And my weight loss is going soooooo slow - a pound or so a week.  I never go over 800 calories a day and usually stick around 600 with 60 gms of protein and 50-60 gms of carb.  I'll be able to cut back on carbs when I'm not doing shakes so much and can get in more real meat.  Right now meat sits like a lump no matter how fork tender or if it is canned.

I am discouraged - BUT not discouraged enough to be encouraged to exercise.  Major depression going on. 

Well, after several weeks of vomiting and nausea, I thought I was going this morning for an endoscopy but got there and it was a test for a barium swallow.  This may be the correct order to do things but I was expecting the endoscopy since there was a concern of a stricture and in my mind, the endoscopy would have been the way to go.

And my surgeon wants to do the scope himself and Sudan is going out of town for a few days so I don't get scoped until next Friday. 

So now I have to just wait and try to stay hydrated with liquids and as much protein drink as I can handle.  I wish patience was one of my virtues but it really is not !!   

 I was on liquids for a couple of days and then went on a minor binge in the middle of the night (well, morning).  I had a Sargento cheese stick (Reduced Fat - wow, am I a daredevil) and about 5 or 6 saltines . . .

nausea right away and vomiting on and off for the rest of the morning until about about noon.  So now I'm back on all liquids.

Well, after several days of severe nausea and vomiting, my doc has put me back on all liquids again to give my stomach a chance to settle down.  Sure hope it helps.

Well, after a consultation with my doc's nurse, Sheila, I have realized I am trying to eat too much.  The doc had told me I had a 4 oz pouch and guess what, I can NOT eat 4 oz!!  I can eat 2 oz at most at this point and she says that is perfectly okay. 

And the NUT had told us to only have one protein drink per day which evidently does not mean the 2 oz I can drink at one time - I am allowed one "serving" of protein drink (usually 8 oz).  Who knew I would crave protein drink?  But I am trying to get in my 40-60 gms of proteins per day. 

My husband and I have been tracking our foods on My Fitness Pal.  This helps a lot in tracking my protein and carbs.  I am averaging between 400 and 500 calories a day.  I don't know how his numbers are doing but I see what he eats and it makes me proud.  It really helps that there are just the two of us and so our house is temptation free. 

And I am already finding clothes that were a little snug here and there that now fit !!   

Well, I started "real" but soft foods on Monday. . . and it is not going all that well.  I am having hell getting the protein in but mostly getting in the water.   And nausea on and off - even threw up Tuesday night.  My medications are feeling stuck again.  And I am only eating until I barely feel full at all - the slightest sense of fullness.  But over the next thirty minutes I feel like I blow up and get a huge pain in a esophageal spasm to the back.  So I am in a kind of agony . . . until I belch.  Then I feel much better.

So far I have been the most successful with scrambled egg (with a bite of toast).  I tried Kroger Greek Yogurt (with Stevia) and that caused a LOT of nausea (whether due to lactose-intolerance or the Stevia I don't know)  Oh, and I tried tuna salad out and it was horrible afterward - I had not thought of what THOSE belches would be like.  Now they told us not to use more than one protein drink a day . . . but I can't figure if they meant one meal per day or one shake per day (which would be several meals)  Turkey and string cheese worked a couple of meals and then I hit a meal where it did not work and now I'm kinda off that. 

Funny ot think how anxious I was to start eating food but now I kinda long for the days of protein shakes - those were simple days. 

And the timing - it is dreadful.  How can I possibly fit everything in one day?  I have to eat 6 meals a day three hours apart (and take 30 minutes to eat each meal), to drink only thirty minutes before and after each meal but somehow get in 64 oz of fluids a day as well as my meds AND my vitamins.  My meds cause the greatest feeling of being "stuck" and I am so miserable after I take them - it is the Depakote that are the biggest trouble. 

Well, diarrhea since I left the hospital and it got a lot worse yesterday.  So I had to run up to Durham Regional and give a stool sample (oh, what fun) to test for C Diff - I have now read up on it and I am REALLY hoping it is just lactose or soy intolerance to the protein drinks . . .

  Well, at least for right now - no more insulin !!  I left the hospital on no fast-acting insulin and due to great (and sometimes low) sugars, I was able to d/c my 24-hour insulin also  WOO_HOO !!