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Okay. I have been sitting at a stand still for the past couple of months and is getting on my nerves so I haven't been posting much. I finally did a side by side comparison of my before and after pictures. Looking at them I can tell that I have lost a lot of weight...and not just in my face like I thought. I am still wearing a 14/16 but I finally started walking again and being more active at home so I should start to see some results soon. I will be so happy!!! I would like to get under 200 lbs before I return to the doctor in February. I will have to get some better after pics b/c the outfit was not that flattering, but a lady at work really likes it and she asked me to wear that for the after pics. I have also bought an undergarment to help everything be smooth underneath my clothes. I bought a Dr. Rey's highwaist panty. I love it!! It was so worth the $40 bucks I paid for it at Sears!! Until next time...

Well, I went to Dr. J's on 8/27 and my weight was the same from the month before...216. I am so sick of that damn number!! I have upped my water intake, stopped eating breakfast so that I could replace those calories with my coffee creamer and not feel so bad for eating and drinking things with calories in them. Hopefully the scale will start to move down again soon. I guess I have hit that point where I have to decide if I really want to work for my goal weight. The doc had a goal of 132 lbs for me. I in no way want to be that low. He said that he actually thought a good goal for me is 160. That is more like it to my way of thinking. I want to look healthy thin, not bony thin. If I am wearing a 14 at 216, I couldn't imagine what size I would be wearing at 132! Anyway, it has been forever since I posted b/c I have just been too ashamed about my lack of weight loss lately. I was really hoping that I would have gone down more, but all I can do is try. Till next time...

I am going down so SLOWLY!!! It drives me crazy! Really, I only have myself to blame. I have not been focusing on my exercise, although I have cut back on my carb intake. I am going to get back on track starting today. All I can do is try, right? I have on a pair of sz 14 stretch jean capris from Target right now. When I tried them on a couple of months ago, they were SUPER tight! Picture the muffin top from hell! :) I had to postpone my 9 month checkup with Dr. J and they couldn't reschedule me until the end of August. Probably b/c I asked for the first appointment of the day in the hopes that when they weighed me it would be less than at any other time of the day. Too bad I can't get on their scale nekkid! ;) I was at 216 this AM. I am going to work my but off to get as close to 200 or under as possible before my appointment. I am so disappointed in my weight loss that I imagine that Dr. J's office will be too. I have faith that eventually it will come off. I just have to do what I need to do to help it happen faster. I will think of what I need to do over the weekend and come up with a plan.

I had dinner with a surgery twin in June, and she is doing GREAT! I am so happy for her. It was nice to talk to someone who is going through the same/similar experience as me. I am still not into having my picture taken so my avatar is still from my cruise in May. I don't think that there has been much change since then so what you see is basically what you get.

I hope I will have better things to report next month.

Okay, I know it has been a long time since I last posted. I am STILL wearing the same pants size, although I was able to squeeze into a size 14 jean at Target a couple of weeks ago. It wasn't pretty, but I bought them anyway just because I want them to fit normally w/o having a HUGE muffin top spilling over!! I am not weighing myself right now b/c it depresses me that it never changes. I know it is my own fault, I have become lax in the exercise department, and I don't always eat what I am supposed to. All I can do is try, right?

I am disappointed in the way my body looks. I thought that I would look like I did when I was 14 and this size. I was much firmer in the gut, arm, and leg area. I hate my arms, but what is new? I have hated them since I was 13 years old. I don't really care too much about my legs, although my thighs could definitely use some work. The part I hate the most is my stomach. I still feel like it is SO HUGE! It is the weirdest thing to hate my body more now than I did when I was heavier.

I know it is because when you are heavier, you expect your body to look like crap. It is normal to look gross, but now that I am supposedly close to a normal sized person again, it still looks like crap and I hate it.

It also sucks that I am a slow loser. I don't want to race anybody, but it sure would be nice to be under 200 lbs. I am 8 months out for goodness sake and I can't even hit 70lbs lost. Sucks b/c I am supposed to be at 148 to be in a normal BMI. I am probably still at 220 b/c I am too weak and pathetic to do what needs to be done to lose at a faster pace. I suck. Anyway, obviously I am having a bad moment so I will go for now. By the way, another thing you should know, is that you will be on an emotional roller coaster. I am usually okay, but sometimes, I can have a mood swing within a matter of seconds. My poor boyfriend gets the brunt of it, but I do try not to let it get out of hand. I would hate it if he snapped at me the way I have at him lately.

I am FINALLY wearing a sz 16 in pants!!! I am so happy! I hope that I keep going down in sizes. I had a bad day for eating yesterday. I will confess my sins here. I ate a whole bunch of chips and made myself sick. It is true what they say, the more carbs you eat, the more you want. I am trying to limit myself starting today!

I have been cheating and getting on the scale at home. Last night it read 223! I have not seen that weight in FOREVER!!! :) I am hoping that my scale at home is off by 5+ lbs from my surgeon's scale, but since I don't go back there for another 3 months it doesn't really matter. I am just happy that it is going down again!!

I went to Lane Bryant last weekend with my sisters and bought 3 shirts in sz 14/16 that actually fit and looked nice on me!!! I was so excited! Now, if only my bottom half would catch up with my top half, I would truly be happy!! It was probably the best shopping experience I have ever had. :) I am still a slacker in the picture department, but I will get some new ones up soon. I can still tolerate most foods, but I sometimes struggle to get all of my water in...especially on the weekends. It is okay now. My new craving is the Venti SF Caramel Latte w/ soy. I add 4 splendas and 1 sugar to make it truly wonderful. I try to only have it a couple times a week, but it is hard. I would rather drink these than eat! It is crazy.

Also, my period has been totally wacky this month. I had my period like normal (I am on the pill). Was off of it for a week, and have had the yucky pre-period stuff for the last 2 weeks. I am supposed to start my normal period this week, which will make it basically 3 weeks of period for me this cycle. It sucks!!!! However, I do have a Gyno appointment next week to discuss issue. I will update when I know more. Probably hormone related due to WLS.

Well, my scale at home has gone down by a couple of pounds, but it is unreliable so I don't really believe it. I will try to get to the doctor's office at some point this month for a believable weight. My 18s still fit, although they are getting more and more comfortable. I went shopping this weekend and bought a few shirts. The two shirts I bought at JC Penney's were a sz 1X and XL. I bought two more shirts at Lane Bryant in sz 18/20 but only b/c they were long and not too loose. I didn't want to go into a 14/16 and have it be too tight and gross looking! I have also totally been slacking on taking pics of my progress. I will try to get that taken care of this week/weekend so I can update my profile and what not. I am feeling really good lately, although, I have noticed that my arms are flabbier than usual and so are my thighs! It looks like I am not going to escape the loose skin syndrome. Doesn't surprise me since I have been big my whole life and O/MO for at least 15 years or so now. I don't expect miracles. Hopefully I will have more to update soon.

Yesterday a lady came up to me at work to ask for some dieting tips. She said that she noticed I had been losing weight and wanted to know if I had any tips for her. I told her that I was doing a high protein diet, and then "confessed" that I had RNY in September. She was very supportive and asked some questions. I told her about fitday.com and obesityhelp.com so that she can track her daily intake and get some support and tips from others who haven't had surgery. It really made me feel good that she noticed my weight loss. I look in the mirror and don't see any difference. :(

Another happy moment is that today I am wearing a pair of jeans that are sz 18 comfortably! They fit me before now, but not without a gross muffin top. :) Today was the first time I actually wore them to work. I am so happy that they fit!!!! Now, if only the scale would start going down more! I would love to be under 200 before I go on my cruise at the beginning of May.

Keep trucking!!

Okay. I went to my Endocrinologist on 1/29/08 and I weighed the same on their scale as I weighed on a separate scale back on 12/26/07. I am so bummed about weighing the same as like 5 weeks before! Oh well. Hopefully it won't last too much longer. I have tried on some size 18 pants that I bought at Wal-Mart and they fit, although I feel a bit too snugly. At least they fit though, right?! :) My sz 18/20 shirts are getting too large also, but I fear that if I go down to the 14/16 sz they will be too short and too tight. I am never satisfied I guess. I have been having issues with eating at home. I am good all day at work, but as soon as I walk in the door at my house all I want to do is munch on crackers. I swear I have made myself sick eating too much a few times during the last couple of weeks. I need to work on restraining myself with these stupid crackers. The weird thing is that I was never much of a cracker eater before. I just crave the crunch/salt now. Maybe I am already sabatoging myself and eating too many calories to lose weight at nearly 5 months out. My weight loss seems pretty crappy, especially compared to others who weighed the same and even less than I did. I am going to stop rambling on here, b/c it is starting to depress me a little bit. Hopefully my next post will be full of cheer and good news!