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Ok here we are 17 days post op - been back at work for 5 days now no trouble at all this is spectacular I am not tired, barely sore, down 26lbs and goin' strong. Getting most of my liquid and protein in - starting on some regular food. Have worked up to 1 mile @ 2.5 mph sporadically but truly need to begin to excercise.... was it worth it YES IT WAS!!!! Write more later...

So here I sit at the computer, like I have nothing better to do... (really need to clean and get some more stuff settled) this is so crazy I expected to have like a thousand butterflies in my belly... I don't... kinda strange, probably just a delayed reaction. I have been leveled out on the liquid diet for a few days now, it's really not bad at all until you SMELL something. The kids made breakfast yesterday and bacon sent me outta the house... Ya know if veggies tasted and smelled like bacon we'd all be thin... no shit right... anyway today I go and to the last of the pre-op stuff and surgery is tomorrow. To be perfectly honest I am not worried about anything but them pulling that drain tube out at the follow up appt. isn't that strange??? I had a total hysterectomy in Jun 10 so that pain is still at the forefront of my mind, I just can't believe that this will be worse - I am figuring in the pretty bad range for a couple of days... we shall see & I'll keep posting. Well enough of my nonsensical gabbing. I am off to begin my last day before the rest of my life (hehehe sounds kinda like a soap opera) Peace Out Yall!!!

Ok the last day at work, trying to get everything caught up - done ahead and left tidy.... problem is I can't make my brain work ...LOL...
 
I am super excited and oh did I mention FRICKIN' hungry. I have drank every liquid I can think of ... unjury unflavored protein isn't bad, but what I have discovered is you get what you pay for... I like crystal light but the off brand peach sux... I have stomached it today because I didn't want to waste my unjury (ok I am a bit of a thrift nit) 

These days I just walk around sloshing. I just keep reminding myself that on Tuesday it won't feel this way ever again. Then the very next thought is OMG is this really happening, am I still dreaming of the day that I can make a change in me? All the waiting and jumping through hoops is finally over and I am " moving on up"
 
I can't describe the wide range of emotions racing through me right now, excitement, nervousness, hope... I am really not scared of the gas pain (an open hysterectomy is pretty fresh in my memory so if I can do that I can do this...) what is kinda of unnerving is the thought of removing the drain tube... When I went to my Dr Appt on Tuesday of this week the nurse went over what to expect in the hospital and after then she whips out this tube with a bulb on the end (this sucker is like 3.5 feet long) and begins to explain how it will work and be removed... have to say removal is a little daunting...so after reading some posts on here I will save away a pain med for the removal...still kinda gives me the willies.

My family is being pretty supportive however watching them eat green chili stew last night was baaadddddd. One of my fav's. So drank a little more and left the room :) yeah buddy getting in the right mind set (remove myself from temptation and SMELL)

I have a little more to do here at work then TONS to do when I get home. I need to get everything cleaned and put away, I promised to choke the family if they don't find somewhere to go this weekend and not mess up my house. I need to do the last minute run to the store, I have everything that I wanted except tylenol & gas strips.

Woo hoo - doing the happy dance inside where no one can see, but look out cuz ONE DAY I'll do that wiggle jiggle in the broad daylight where EVERYONE can see.

Seriously want to say that I love my husband and my boys (well young men) they love me now and I can't wait to be/go/do more with them as I get healthier :)  LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!

I can not find words to say how happy and excited I am. In 10 days I will embark on a journey that will be the best thing that I have ever done for myself. As a mom and wife I am so used to giving to everyone else, it feels almost weird to do something that is just for me (well it will be for everyone once I feel better and take an more active role in their lives). I am having some problem with folks that look at me and say "you're not that fat" "haven't you looked at other options" " do you think you're taking the easy way out" "I though you had to be bigger to qualify".....look I have to live in my skin, I am sorry I'm not BIGGER OK... I want to be healthy, happy, not ache and pain anymore. I do carry my weight well. When I tell people according to my BMI I am considered a little past obese, they look at me like I am from Mars...then of course the question is well how much do you weigh... (only the very brave will ask) when I tell them they are like , well you don't look like it. Well thanks I guess. I will stop with the pity party because everyone will not understand and bottom line - its my life not theirs. I have made up my mind and that is it. I want to look back to this point in a year or so and say way to go girlie - you've done it and don't you feel better. Ok I've had my bitchfest and guess what I'M STILL FRIGGIN EXCITED SO THERE :0p YIPPEE FOR MEEE!!!

Today seems like I am dreaming was approved and scheduled for surgery yesterday (Valentine's Day) what a better way to love myself than to do something that will benefit me forever and make me love living...20 days to go on my countdown... I have began to log my eating/drinking, I am hoping to incorporate some type of exercise although my knee seems to blossom into fire if I do much at all. I am really hoping that this will subside as the weight starts to come off. I found this blog section on the OH's website and thought what better place to keep a journal of how I feel and what I am doing. I am going to begin a photojournal this evening as well. I think it will help me in the long run.

I was given the best Valentine's Day Present EVER... I was approved for surgery today. My date is March 6, 2012.  I have worked towards this date for the last 7 months. I didn't think I would ever get to this point. I have cried tears of joy today, and my insides are dancing. I see hope and possibilities ~ thank you GOD for holding me up to this point.