Just plugging along...

Jan 11, 2011

Well here it is almost the middle of January, it's so hard to believe. Work is going well and I have been job hunting online but it just hasn't turned up any real leads. I am still trying to find a part time job so that I can attend school full time. I''ve been trying to look into different schools to find the one that will best fit my needs. 

Honestly, I haven't been as faithful to God as I should be. I have sinned and I feel guilty about it. I have been reading my Bible for the past two days but I still know that Satan is tugging at my heart strings. I must say that life is difficult and as my father has always said, "Don't expect it to get any easier." Such words of wisdom to live by.

As for the whole friend situation...that has been an interesting journey. I have realized there are so many people out there just interested in sex, or having friends with benefits. I am not sure why the world has turned into such a sex obsessed world but it has. Don't get me wrong I love sex/making love to my partner, I try to enjoy it to the fullest but still I just can't be one to have casual sex. There are so many out there that do. It's so scary. I have pretty much stopped talking to all the people that I had met online...except one. I have mixed emotions about it because I am not here to play games. I will be 34 this year and I am not getting any younger. I hope to find my soulmate that I will bond with forever and raise a family. I really want to have more children and achieve the dreams that I have with a supportive-loving husband by my side. I tell you that sometimes I think I am asking for too much. My WLS journey has changed so much of my life that it just amazes me at times. It has given me the push to tap into the confidence that I had built up inside. I just didn't see it before...but it was there. I am not one to hide things anymore and I know that it will take a special man to accept me as I am. I am me...a human that is not perfect. I love to cook, love being a wife and mother, I put my 100% into my marriage, career and children but I have faults. I am not that great of a house cleaner, I love working outdoors instead of inside, I like to be active and yet sometimes I am impulsive. I love and accept me for being me...I just hope the right person comes along and appreciates all I can give them.

Well that's all I can say for now...I must go finish making lunch for tomorrow and cleaning.

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