JadedJassy
Trying to Hold On
Jul 25, 2009
It has been a while since I’ve been able to post on this site. School has been really busy and it has taken most of my time. Also, I wasn’t sure if I should post anything given that nothing major has happen when it comes to getting the surgery. I now have health insurance with my state and was initially really excited when I was told that it would cover surgery. However, when I called a second time, I was told it didn’t, even though the health insurance company (Badger Care Core Plus) never actually mentions that they do or don’t. It crushed my dreams until I stumbled across a 2008 form that states Badger Care covers the surgery if its deem medically necessary, so there seems like a little light at the end of the tunnel. And believe me its has been a tunnel. I have been depress and suicidal for a long time, with the only thing keeping me from doing something drastic is my writing. Writing is the canvas for which I can express myself and create a world that I control. I plan becoming a writer and so I struggle each day to do that.
When it comes to my weight it has been increasing which scares the crap out of me. Initially, before joining this site my weight was around 280 and now it is 327. My BM is 52 which classifies me as SUPER Obese, whatever that means I know I am. Just last week I went to my doctor and asked her to do a referral for me and plan on going to my the seminar at the Bariatric Center here in Madison, however, I just discovered that the bus doesn’t go out there and I don’t have a car. It seems as though the powers that be won’t let me have any peace. I am going to have to plan around it though because I know I have to prepare to get this procedure done. Until then however, I am plan on changing my eating habits, reducing the amount of sugar I am eating, and other junk. I also have to exercise and while this all sounds well and good, I tend to fall and give up. But now weighing close to 400 pounds, I can’t afford to give up.
So I have to make some changes in my life all around if this is ever going to work.
