jamiecatlady5
7 yrs postop today! LIFE IS GOOD!
Oct 09, 2009
I cannot even think about forgetting today! It was just 7 years ago that I decided to do something to take care of myself. It has not been a simple ride; it has been a challenge at times and a wonderful opportunity for personal growth along the way. I have learned so much about myself and received so much more than I originally thought I would get! My focus changed from dieting to lifestyle, my focus went from scale obsession to coming inside and noticing, my food addiction reared at 1 yr, 3 and then 5yr. Each time I decided more personal growth (therapy) was called for. The tool is glorious but I also know now how flawed it is and how flawed my original thinking was.
My nonscale victories are numerous..no more aching joints (Well being 30 wk preg doesn’t exactly count with back pain does it?) LOL..Being able to move and exercise I feel blessed, no more high BP or pills, no more fatty liver, no more insulin resistance no more high cholesterol or meds! I have escaped my fat prisoned mind, I have found strength in the midst of difficulty. I have learned to embrace and accept more and find the lesson in the most challenging and difficult times......I have met some marvelous people and gained support I never knew existed. I have flourished in my career, my passion of bariatrics too formed...I can fly w/o the seatbelt extension, I get respect and eye contact from others, I can cross my legs w/o issues, fit in a small car, I am HEALTHIER THAN I ever was at 29 now turning 37! I have learned to love me as I am at any time (mostly!)
How I have come around with body image in such a way that getting pregnant and having a wt gain is not the be all end all as the scale no longer rules my life or mood; heck why get on it if I am emotionally present and consistently making the best choices.. I know where I am at if I do not avoid repress or stuff!.
I have confronted fears, insecurities and emotions and embraced them...with much help! I have found some awesome parts of myself and also worked on the not so awesome ones. I have worked on perfectionism and still have a long ways to go! BUT I AM OK with it all!
Making an educated and informed decision was important, for myself though letting go of the need to be perfect, rigid thinking (all/nothing), needing to control everything and in doing all the thinking avoiding the feeling and life, being consumed with WLS in general so much I 'lost my life/identity' to a LABEL (I was a WLS person) when in fact I am much more than that for the first year or two.
I battled addiction transfer with my 4 yr exercise addiction; I am still seeking balance in that arena.... That despite the OPERATION the need for myself to do personal growth (therapy, 12 step work, develop supportive network, learn to take care of me FIRST) around my personality/character traits of codependency and how they are so intertwined into my obesity no tool can fix those (although I wish it could of, that would of been magic as many of us hope WLS will be!). That in acceptance of myself at any moment, healthy boundaries, taking care of myself I could succeed or at least learn to reframe success as something more than a number on a scale or if I ate enough that day in protein or didn’t eat too many carbs or drank enough fluid or got exactly enough exercise in etc. I am winning!
Surgery was the easy part looking back although going through it I thought it was the hard part (ha how skewed that was!) living the lifestyle after in a consistent, self responsible manner is the most CHALLENGING thing I have ever chosen to do for the past 7 yrs, I did not realize preop the immense effort it takes each moment to be healthy! It is so worth that energy though the freedom it brings! OR so I decide today that is my REALITY and perception!
I have accepted vs. know intellectually that Happiness and Success will NEVER EVER come from an external source (person, object, number on the scale). It can and will ONLY come from internal self-discovery and love. I NOW AM Listening to my BODY which is so instrumental and key, my natural physical hunger, my body knows and will not let me down..is my mantra and truth!
I have learned that I have consume my life in the past with food, thinking about what I can and can not have, when I can eat or should eat, how much, how often, how it should be cooked, when to buy it, how much, etc that I occupied so much time and did not even realize that that left me with no time to feel (the point) in an addiction, it used to take me over so I could forget what I was scared/fearful of feeling/being. I think the WLS lifestyle was also sort of addiction and escape for a while (until life overwhelms the beauty of the honeymoon!) and for myself exercise became an obsessive addiction as well.
I wish I had known that WLS is one of the million steps on my life’s journey *it is not the destination*! BUT I know it now and only my journey could of given me that!!
Writing all the reasons why this was my choice, what my expectations and goals were (*considering those beyond wt loss itself), what I was so fearful of. All my core fears (Death, Failure, Making wrong decision, not being accepted and loved/abandoned, not perfect enough etc) helped mold and shape my ADVENTURE!
I recommend those preop consider trying to fill their minds with as much optimism and positive thinking as possible! Basically, become more conscious of what you are thinking and feeling, and start preparing yourself to think of food and your life in a different way. This is a courageous step for you to take, and it's not just about weight changing -- it's about life changing. This is why so many of us are challenged by the enormity of the decision.
Healthy Baby Girl progressing almost 6mo now!
Aug 16, 2009
We are having a girl, due 12/16/09!
Ultrasound photos regular and in 3D are amazing! Here she is sucking her thumb!
She is kicking most days/nights now! My belly grows it is so utterly miraculous!
WHEN WOULD YOU SAY I GAINED 2# in 2 wks & be excited 7yr out?
Jun 13, 2009
WHEN YOU ARE 13 weeks PREGNANT AND EXCITED!!!!!
:-)
BARIATRIC SUCCESS HOW DO/WILL YOU DEFIN IT!?
Mar 04, 2009
I. HOW WILL/DO YOU DEFINE IT?
Ø TAKE A MOMENT AND WRITE IT DOWN….THEN SHARE
_______________________________________________________________________________
v JUST NOTICE…DO NOT JUDGE SELF OR OTHERS
HOW MIGHT IT CHANGE OVER TIME?
Ø REASONABLE, RATIONAL & REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS
v PERFECTION IS NONE OF THESE
v 100% EXCESS WT LOSS IS NOT EITHER!
v CAN YOU SEE BEYOND THE SCALE?
ü BEYOND weight changing ->LIFE CHANGING!
ü IT IS NOT A RACE (DON’T COMPARE ever really!!!)
v WILL IT BE A JOURNEY OR A DESTINATION FOR YOU?
ü REFRAMES: EATING TO LIVE VS. LIVING TO EAT
II. ARE YOU PREPARED FOR IT?
Ø READING, ‘RITING AND RESPONSIBILITY
v Knowledge is powerful all along the WEIGH!
v WRITING GAOLS AND JOURNALING CONSIDER IT!
v Surgery is the EASY part, living the LIFE AFTER SURGERY IS THE CHALLENGE!
v WHAT ROLE WILL SUPPORT PLAY FOR YOU?
ü How to be responsible, accountable, consistent & present!
ü Boundaries and taking care of ourselves!
v ARE YOU WILLING TO PAY IT FORWARD?
ü We cannot keep what we do not give away!
III. WILL YOU CHOOSE SABOTAGE & FAILURE?
Ø DURING AND AFTER THE HONEYMOON: ACCEPT WHERE YOU ARE AT ANY MOMENT!
v WILL YOU CHOOSE FEAR OR FREEDOM?
ü ADDICTIONS
ü How letting go, surrendering, and acceptance are keys to success NOT CONTROL!
ü GRATITUDE WORKS! Everything can be an opportunity/lesson!
v WHAT WILL/DO YOUR CHOICES AROUNG EATING, EMOTIONS & EXERCISE LOOK LIKE?
ü Lets discuss the Perfectionism Trap
ü What about 90/10?
ü DANGERS: SLIPPERY SLOPES
§ GRAZING
§ JUST THIS ONCE WON’T HURT
§ TERMINAL UNIQUENESS~
v DO/WILL YOU TRULY BELIEVE IT IS ONLY A TOOL!?
ü PLATEAUS
ü REGAIN
v RECOMMENDED FOCUS BE WILLING TO MAKE LIFESTYLE CHANGES NECESSARY FOR LONG-TERM WEIGHT LOSS SUCCESS/HEALTH:
1. REGULAR PHYSICAL ACTIVITY (~E~X~E~R~C~I~S~E~)
2. GOOD NUTRITION AND APPROPRIATE VITAMIN/MINERAL SUPPLEMENTATION
3. ASSISTANCE IN IMPROVING EMOTIONAL STATUS
4. CONTINUED INVOLVEMENT IN A BARIATRIC SUPPORT GROUP AND IN YOUR CLINICAL PROGRAM (LABS/APTS)
'To get something you never had, you have to do something you n
Feb 18, 2009
WLS News
Feb 06, 2009
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Steps to Forgiveness
Feb 06, 2009
1. Confront your emotional pain - your shock, fear, anger, and grief. Recognize that the hurt that has occurred may have been very unfair and that these steps are not meant to minimize the hurt involved.
2. Realize that forgiveness can only be appropriate after you have processed out your fear, anger, and grief. However, also realize that you can set forgiveness as a goal in the future for your sake now! Recognize that to continue to dwell on the anger and resentment involved in the hurt will literally destroy your physical health, and cause you great mental suffering. New studies clearly show that anger and resentment doubled the risk of myocardial heart attacks in women with previous coronary problems. Other studies indicate cancer and other deadly illnesses are also caused by anger and resentment. So be willing, for your sake, to begin to process out these deadly emotions as soon as possible.
3. Understand that love is what you ultimately want for yourself from yourself.
4. Understand that forgiveness does not condone or approve or forget the harmful acts; forgiveness does not allow yourself to be abused. We forgive the doer, not the doing. Remembering this helps us to break harmful cycles of behavior.
5. Realize that you are the only person responsible for your own feelings and for healing the hurt that is going on inside of you.
6. Remember that you are so powerful that usually you had some part in what happened. Be willing to totally face up to that part and accept it without blame (to forgive and love that part).
7. See this situation as an opportunity for healing and for growth. See that the other person involved has revealed to you through his or her actions where there was a wounded spot in you which needed healing.
8. Start releasing anger, sadness, grief, and fear through the many processes, therapies and therapists available. Have a person to work with who can truly empathize with you, yet who can be objective and help you shift your perception from blame to healing.
9. Decide to forgive. Even if this decision is half-hearted at first, it will probably lessen your hurt and anger immediately. Notice that this decision can be difficult because after you have processes out the anger, resentment and grief, you will have to give up the grudge - the being a "victim", "being right" and making the other person "wrong". Notice that this is "superior" position which can be used to get a lot of self-righteous attention. Be willing, for your sake to have the courage to get off that "superior" position.
10. Be willing to find a new way to think about the person who wronged you. What was his or her life like growing up? What was his or her life like at the time of the offense? What were this person's good points up to the time of the hurt? Notice you may not be able to see much good within until you have processed out your anger and/or grief or fear. They are adults who are responsible for their own actions, but they may be controlled by their own fears, addictions, character defects….and may there fore be in a denial state of their own which cannot be reasonable or rational and has absolutely nothing to do with “YOU”. YOU are not responsible for anyone’s thoughts or actions except your own. YOU cannot change another person and YOU cannot change their thought or their actions “EVER”. Remember, we cannot be in a co-dependant relationship alone – “EVER” (though sometimes we’re co-dependant w/ ourselves!)
11. Be aware that being forgiving is a courageous act on your part. It has nothing to do with whether the other person can admit they are wrong. You are forgiving to liberate yourself no matter what the other person decides to do.
12. Be willing to do and learn whatever it takes to forgive. Commit to do processes, to read courageous stories of forgiveness, to write in journals, to see a therapist, to do training’s, or to do whatever it takes to heal the wounds involved. Remember these wounds may be deeply tied to past hurts going back to your interactions with your parents. Resolve to follow them through for your total healing, even if it involves years of effort to heal. Remember that you are determined to find the true happiness and joy that true forgiveness can bring to your life.
13. If you believe in a Higher Power, be willing to pray on this problem and to turn to this Higher Power for guidance and assistance in the forgiveness process.
14. Accept the lessons involved in this incident — our lives are laboratories for learning. What have you learned from this event that is invaluable to you? Has some form of attachment to a belief or beliefs a position has caused you the pain involved? What belief or beliefs were involved?
15. We all contemplate every situation, conversation, actions etc. from our own perspectives which are rooted in our own belief systems that were put into place through our own specific set of life circumstances which commenced from very early on in life. Some of these beliefs may be somewhat defective, extremely faulty or at the very least outdated. You need to be in the present with consciousness about your current reality and take responsibility for only you. You cannot think, feel, see or understand from anyone’s perspective except your own.And other people cannot truly think, feel, see or understand anything from your perspective either. Remember, anyone reacting to you or commenting or criticizing you can only do so from information derived from their own belief system which may or may not be, but probably is faulty in some respects and most certainly has nothing to do with you.
16. If you have the willingness and when and if it is appropriate, seek feedback (NOT validation) from the other person by being willing to say "I'm sorry that I did..." (for whatever it is that you feel contributed to the problem).
17. Regardless of what the other person does, work towards seeing yourself with love and goodness. Look towards forgiveness of the other person and know that when you work towards these goals love and goodness are thus flowing to you for your mental and physical health and well-being.
18. See that everything is okay, possibly perfect, as it is now – trust that you are right where you need to be….
How to Regain-proof your WLS (Katie Jay)
Feb 04, 2009
National Association for Weight Loss Surgery www.nawls.com
How to Regain-Proof Your Weight Loss Surgery
by Katie Jay, MSW, CTA-certified Wellness Coach
Director, National Association for Weight Loss Surgery www.nawls.com
You’ve lost all or most of the weight you wanted to lose, but are you afraid you will regain it?
Don’t you wish there was a magic wand you could wave over yourself and be freed forever from the bondage of obesity? It’d be great to know a sure-fire way to "regain-proof" your weight loss surgery (WLS), wouldn’t it?
Many obese people hope WLS will be that "magic wand." They summon all their courage and energy, and take the plunge, hoping they will finally lose weight almost effortlessly, and for good.
But then reality sets in. While many people who have WLS experience a honeymoon period, in which hunger is nearly nonexistent and the pounds fall off rapidly, most also experience a return of hunger, and eventually a return to old behavior patterns that can threaten their WLS success.
Not everyone returns to old behaviors, though. And some people go there briefly and then finally find something better than a magic wand – personal responsibility.
Some people are wildly successful with WLS.
Success usually isn’t an accident. Most successful people have found a method that has helped them reshape their body, mind, and spirit, so they can keep their weight off and be healthy.
If you’re reading this, you probably are one of them (or you can be!).
Here are 7 tips to help you regain-proof your WLS
1. Follow directions. Okay, this one is obvious, but it always amazes me how many people do not do this one simple thing.
Review your surgeon’s guidelines often -- at least once a month. Each month you can set a new goal to improve in an area that challenges you. When you receive new information, be sure to update your guidelines.
Following directions can be difficult, so take responsibility to work on your resistance. Read or listen to motivational information, get an accountability partner, or seek therapy.
If you are struggling with tip #1, treat it as a serious challenge you have decided to overcome.
2. Move. If you increase quantities or choose higher-calorie foods after you have lost some weight, the best strategy to maintain your loss is to MOVE more. More movement will compensate for the calories you have added back into your diet.
I’m not encouraging you to eat more, but IF you find yourself eating more, get moving!
Moving means regular exercise, parking further away from a building, doing squats while you are waiting for the microwave to heat something up, putting on music after work and dancing while you do your evening chores.
All movement counts!
3. Own your thought life. When you think negative thoughts, you create negative outcomes. If you have an ongoing negative dialog with yourself, work on changing it.
You do not have to sink into negative thinking. Read motivational books, listen to inspiring books on tape, or put on music you like. If you find yourself dwelling on something depressing or discouraging – CHANGE YOUR MIND. Switch subjects. Focus on something else.
You have a choice about what you focus on. Focus on thoughts that will lift you up. And if you are feeling overburdened or depressed, seek help from a professional.
4. Treat your depression. Many people who have had WLS struggle with depression. If you are feeling blue, or hopeless, or tired and discouraged, get evaluated for depression – and treat it. Depression will undermine your WLS success.
5. Know what you weigh. It’s easy to slip into denial. Staying conscious about what you weigh can keep you from putting on a lot of weight. Many of us would rather not have to worry about what we weigh, or be reminded of our lack of perfection. But, the disease of obesity takes away that luxury, if you want to be free of it. Rather than resisting and feeling guilty, surrender. Surrender to staying conscious. It is tiring and overwhelming at first, but that discomfort soon gives way to confidence and self control. It’s worth the effort.
6. Take time to get in touch with how you are feeling. Focusing on your feelings can be a challenge. It’s easier to numb out or allow yourself to be distracted so that you don’t have to feel anything uncomfortable.
Learning to feel your feelings and respond to them with care is a skill worth developing. So much overeating is related to feelings. Find a way to get comfortable with your feelings and deal with them in a healthy way.
7. Record what you are eating. All the scientific studies about food journals show that writing down what you eat can have a strong positive effect on your food choices and weight management.
While many people resist writing down what they eat, most of the people who successfully keep off weight do it. Again, if you are feeling resistant, step up to the challenge and work through that sabotaging feeling.
You can find more tips, and get support on your WLS journey, when you join the National Association for Weight Loss Surgery. Visit us at www.nawls.com today.
© Katie Jay, 2008. All rights reserved. National Association for Weight Loss Surgery www.nawls.com
JAMIE GETTING CURRENT!
Jan 18, 2009
- Started gradually exercising to find that balance between all or nothing..so far 30 min 3x week is the balance! Slow and steady! SUPERWOMAN does not work anymore!
- Started daily journaling of my thoughts, feelings and sometimes food.
- Started a food discovery log (identifying my physical, emotional aspects of hunger and eating etc.)
- Started daily affirmations reading and listening.
- Started daily listening to transforming eating obsessions CD (self hypnosis/guided imagery)
- Meditating daily.
- Practicing my deep breathing daily to deal with stress.
- Returned to CODA meetings
- Broke out of my isolation with friends and family.
- Stopped over sleeping/napping to avoid.
- Returned slowly to online support groups.
- Returned to more personal growth work individually.
- MAKING ME A PRIORITY! SPEAKING MY TRUTH AND LIVING IN THE ONLY PLACE I CAN NOW!
