Take 2

Apr 08, 2012

 I had lap band surgery back in 2005.  I couldn't get my insurance to cover it, so I flew to Mexico and self paid.   I went from 220 to 133 in a year and a half.  I never got my band to work correctly, so I really think I lost the weight with it being 75% me and 25% the band. I worked my butt off to lose those pounds.   In in effort to get my band to help me out a little, I started off on a never ending cycle of fills and unfills.  I became so frustrated with never getting the right amount and going back to the doctors so much, that I gave up on my band and had it unfilled.  It was causing me nothing but problems.  I now have uncontrollable belching (because of all of the damage to my esophagus), occasional pain and vomiting, and have regained all of my weight +20lbs.

For a couple of years, I had just given up and determined that I was a failed WLS patient and was doomed to be obese for the rest of my life.  A month ago, I was just sitting with my lap top, and it dawned on me that it didn't have to be this way.  My weight is starting to catch up with me and affect my health.  I am pre-diabetic, recently diagnosed with high blood pressure, and obstructive sleep apnea.  I am starting to suffer from stress incontinence.  I now can feel my heart beating out of my chest, after I eat.  I can barely walk without getting winded.  My XXL clothes barely fits.  None of my bras fit.  My skin is terrible.  I barely recognize myself in the mirror.  I'm only 30.  I should be alot healthier.  My husband was just diagnosed with cancer, and at this rate, if everything goes down hill, my son might lose both of his parents at a young age.  So I have decided to do something about my health.

At first, I wanted to go with the DS, after doing all of the research.  I found a good DS doctor, but he wasn't willing to work with my insurance.  I thought I would have to be self pay again, but I found a wonderful surgeon who was somehow able to get my insurance to agree to pay for it.  Now if they actually do end up paying for it, after the fact, is a different story.  But I decided that my health is worth going into debt for.  So far, I LOVE my surgeon.  He seems to be so caring and really wants to get this band out of me.  He hates what these bands are doing to people.  Anyway, he doesn't do the DS, so I will just have to settle for the bypass.  Maybe I wasn't meant to get the DS.  It is a bit more extreme, but has better long term results.  I will just have to put more effort into maintaining the weight loss this time.  

THIS TIME...This time, it will be different.  I will follow all the rules to the T.  I will try my best to not rely on my brain to tell me it's full.  I will measure EVERYTHING.  I will rely on my measuring cup to tell me when I have reached my limit, not my brain.  I will exercise more.  I will not try to test my limits.  This is my second and last chance.  I WILL NOT BLOW IT THIS TIME, regardless of any complications.  I will not use anything to justify not following the rules.  If I can't tolerate real protein, I will just have to drink it, instead of eating easy carb foods.  

So, I am scheduled for surgery on 4/23/12.  I am scared and anxious about it.  I'm preparing for the worst, but hoping for the best.  I intend on documenting my journey this time, as I didn't do that last time.  It will help keep me accountable to myself.  Well, that's it for now.  Will continue after surgery.

0 Comments