Emotional

Apr 22, 2012

I had read a post yesterday about someone having crying spells before surgery.  I was like, "that's not gonna happen to me".  Well, here I am, emotional.  Part of it is that it's that time of the month.  The other part is that I have been watching the UPLIFTING ENTERTAINMENT channel all day. This movie about Kirk Cameron doing something for his wife everyday was so inspiring. This has reminded me once again that I need God in my life.  I've been so mad at him for giving my husband Cancer.  I can't seem to reconcile praying to him and my husband having Cancer.  But I really need the inner peace.  

My main reason for not going to church is laziness and partying the night before.  I didn't want to get up early.  I'm hoping that since I can't drink for quite some time, that I will get more clarity in my life.  I love going to church.  I want to go back to it.  I think it will help me inside.  I need to start taking care of myself inside and out and quit trying to escape reality with bad influences.  I need to start seeing the beauty in life.  

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