5 month surgiversary

Jul 27, 2012

So today I'm at roughly 240.  So that's down 53 pounds since surgery date.  I'm happy with that most days.  I must say that what used to make me so happy to hear ("you look great") is wearing thin.  I'm still 100% sure that this was the right decision for me.  I'm happier and more active.  I'm off all meds and my sleep apnea has moved from severe to moderate.  All good things right?  

SO what could possibly be a reason for the "blahs" that I find myself feeling more frequently now.  As I pause to take a bite of my 4oz turkey burger - could the food be it?  I don't consciously miss anything terribly.  And quite honestly, I do enjoy my sugar free ice cream and/or peanut butter most nights as a treat.  I do sometimes feel guilty about that but usually that's a fleeting feeling.  I'm ok with losing slower than most posters on OH - I'm really ok with that now.  I used to get worked up about it but not anymore.  Whenever I start to think that I've completely blown it - the scale moves again - just a tad - but it moves.  So at a total of 76 pounds lost, I'm a little more than half way to "goal" - which is a completely arbitrary number I pulled out of my....well let's say I pulled it out of the air.  Today I ran into someone who I haven't seen for about 3 months and she said "you're looking skinny girl" but I know that's relative to my 300 pound self but when I said I'm halfway there she said "you can't be serious".  Gotta let that go. 

OK so what am I grateful for???  I can now circuit train and do 1 minute walking, 30 seconds or 1 minute "jogging" for up to 20 minutes, I can walk for 30 minutes straight at 3.0, I can spin for 20 minutes alternating sitting and standing.  So much to be happy about in the exercise realm.  I can squeeze into a size 16 jeans.  I can easily fit into a size 16 top. I look forward to exercise.  I'm inspiring people.  I'm healthier than I've been in a very very long time.  I don't see myself ever going back to 300+ pounds. 

Life is good, even when it's not.  I guess that's it. 

Be well everyone!  Peace

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