JenJen33

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I can't believe it's been 3 months...some days it feels like it was just yesterday and other days it seems so long ago.

I am about 57 lbs down, I m hoping to hit 60 lbs by the time I go see my mom next weekend.

Here are some pros so far:
-Half of my clothing is no longer acceptable for me to wear - they either fall off me or make me look like I am dressed as a clown.
-The other half is comfortably loose and I had to go through some boxes of my smaller clothes that were in storage to build up a Fall wardrobe.
-I can eat meat! I see lots of people have trouble with this so I consider myself very lucky. My tummy loves a good steak. -Chicken is a little harder but it still goes down well.
-People are noticing my weightloss, and that makes me feel good.
-I have learned what foods are dangerous for me - the ones that cause me to eat too much - like pasta, bread, rice, etc.
-I fit in an airplane seat without an extender.
-I fit in some rides at Disney World comfortably. - YAY! I had been avoiding going for a while because of this but I rode space mountain and a few others last week and I fit fine.
-I am in therapy and making some great strides with my food issues (and a few other issues, lol).
-I feel better about myself.
-I am only 10 lbs heavier than my husband. It will be a BIG celebration day when I officially weigh less.
-My only side effect is I still get heartburn so I have to take Prilosec daily...so glad not to have the nausea or any other effects/complications.

Some challenges so far....
-I haven't found the right balance of vitamins yet and my energy is a little low. I think I need to up my B12.
-I have found that I can tolerate almost any food. I was kinda hoping when I ate a chip or candy that I would have a bad reaction, but no such luck. Now I have to rely on regular self-control to avoid those foods.
-I still haven't mastered getting in all my fluids or protein.
-I am not exercising nearly as much as I would like.
-I have been lazy and not tracking my foods online. I really need the accountability so I need to fix this.
-I still don't know when to stop eating. I get the slimies/foamies a few times a week (less and less as time goes on) and I have only thrown up 4x but I'd like to work on stopping before I eat too much.
-If I drink a liquid too fast I get a tightening in my throat/chest - so not comfortable! But luckily it goes away within 15-30 seconds.

I think that's about it so far.

Overall I still LOVE LOVE LOVE my sleeve and I am so grateful to have it. I am also really grateful for all the help and advice I have gotten from my OH friends and I've even been lucky enough to meet some of you in person.

Thank you everyone!
Jen

Feeling kinda low today so this will be short and sweet.

So far so good with everything. My biggest battle is head hunger and I am in therapy for that. One activity I did was write a good-bye letter to my ED (eating disorder). I just sat at the computer and starting typing. After I was done I realized how angry I am at my ED and myself for letting my ED control me for so long. I am seriously loony for letting myself go this long without some real treatment for it. My ED has stolen so much time, energy and my confidence from me. I don't know how to get it all back but I am trying.

Jen

And the kicker is it happened twice in one day (yesterday).

I really think I was the cause - I came home yesterday afternoon and I was starving so I ate some chicken and I knew I ate it way too fast. Within 2 minutes of finishing the last bite I knew I was going to be sick and ran to the bathroom. I barely made it there on time.

Then last night I was eating something else and I knew I took one bite too many, again ate it too fast and boom! Just like that I knew I'd be sick and ran to the bathroom again.

There are plenty of times I've had nausea but I never threw up before (since the surgery). Now I clearly know the difference between those feelings.

Thank goodness for reading msvelvet's post because now I know better than to try to eat normally and I'll baby my tummy for a few days.

Here's where I am my own worst enemy - I knew I was eating too fast and yet I didn't slow down and I knew I took a bite too many but I still tried to eat it. BIG Lessons learned!!

The good news is I am 5 weeks out today and I am down just about 35.6 lbs. I made DH hide the scale for the whole week since I'm so obsessive and it was nice to get on it this morning to see a real drop.

Hope everyone has a great weekend! We'll be hurricane planning/prepping in case Fay decides to come this way.

Jen

I haven't posted any updates in the last week or so because I was really struggling with everything - it's been a long few weeks but so worth it!!

I did 2 weeks of liquids pre-op and it was a challenge but it got easier as the days went on and I got closer to surgery and more excited about the procedure. Then I had surgery and did another full week of clear liquids and that was fine because I was almost used to it by then. I was super excited to move to full liquids. That day came and it was great. I had slimfast and pureed chili and it was so yummy! As the days went on, I began to struggle with finding things that I could puree that I actually liked the taste of and wanted to eat. Nothing was tasting good at all! Everything made me nauseas too. I'm not very creative in the kitchen but I tried adding low-fat sour cream or other things to my pureed foods to make them taste better and nothing worked. By the end of the first week I couldn't even drink a slimfast - it tasted horrible too. Worse than the food, I wasn't getting in enough liquids and I got headache from being dehydrated one day. Some people talk about being able to gulp water by their 2nd week out - not me! If I took a few sips too fast I got uncomfortable/pains in my chest.

By the start of the 2nd week I was so depressed about not being able to eat/drink enough and how bad everything tasted. All the tv commercials for food pissed me off because I just wanted to eat something (anything!) that tasted good. I wound up going to bed very early for a few nights. My therapist and I talked about this and how I am grieving for the food I cannot eat and the loss of the friend food had become. I also took an assessment with her and shockingly enough (lol) I have an eating disorder (not that I needed that officially confirmed, lol). But I also know that the way my mind works when it comes to food is NOT normal so I'm ahead of the game in the eating disorder world - now we just have to go through the hard part of fixing my head.

Now onto the good news - with permission from my drs office, I began mushies yesterday - just a day or two early and what a world of difference! I had a super high carb day (63g), good on calories (762) and decent on protein (54g). I also got in a lot more liquids - and I was finally able to gulp without pain.

Everything tasted so yummy that I didn't want to stop eating it even when I knew I had eaten enough and then more than enough. I did manage to stop before I got sick but I can see my biggest challenge is going to be really stopping when I am done eating.

So here I am - getting ready to have an egg for breakfast and I am so excited! My whole outlook has improved over the last day and I feel soooo much better.

I never regretted my VSG or had buyer's remorse - I was just so frustrated with not being to eat and not liking anything I tasted.

As of this morning I am 29 lbs down and my jeans are just about falling off of me when I walk. I am going to start going to the gym this week - just cardio for another week or so and then I'll move on to the hard stuff.

Physically I am perfectly fine. My incisions are healing nicely. I take Prilosec OTC daily and that helps with keeping my heartburn at a minimum or completely gone for the day. I am starting to notice my energy level increase too.

So like I said - it's not been easy but getting to this point is SOOOO worth it!

Thanks for reading!
Jen

PS - BIG thanks to **Faufins/Margo** for her fruit punch crystal light and liquid protein combination - it helped me increase my liquids and protein!!

My Sleeve Story

 

Friday, 7/11 – Travel to Texas

 

We left at 4:30am for our 6:30am flights and flew to San Antonio and met up with my sleeve sister and her husband and soon after Alberto, Rosy's brother who was filling in for her, arrived to take us to Eagle Pass. Alberto made record time to Eagle Pass and checked us into the Holiday Inn Express. The rooms were very nice and immediately my husband and I took naps – very comfy beds! For dinner that night we got permission to have Egg Drop soup from the Chinese restaurant nearby that delivered. It was a pretty quiet evening and I wasn't nervous at all – just ready. I didn't think I'd be able to sleep at all but fortunately I managed to get a few good hours in before morning.

 

 

Saturday, 7/12 – Surgery Day

 

Rosy picked us up at 6:45am and brought us to Dr. A's clinic. There were 3 of us having surgery that day – 2 sleeves and 1 lapband.

 

We got to his office and he came in a few minutes later, he is such a nice man! Dr. A explained that he was going to go in the order of sleeve, band, sleeve and since me and my sleeve sister were so close in size, we could flip a coin to decide who went first. She called tails and lucky for me, it was heads so I got to go first. She didn't lose completely – Dr. A gave her Room 30 – which is the biggest room. I thought it was pretty fair :) Dr. A met with each of us individually to go over questions/concerns. We also met Dr. Gabriel, Dr. A's associate, who assisted on the surgeries. He was very nice as well.

 

We walked over to the hospital, which was just behind the clinic/office. My husband was really impressed when Dr. A even took some of the luggage for us. My room (29) wasn't ready yet so he put me in a temporary room and got the other 2 patients settled in. In the hallway, I saw Denise who was on her way out. She looked great and told me that the only thing she could say bad was that she had a headache that morning. That DEFINITELY made me feel better.

 

After we got to my temp. room, the nurses came in and took blood and vitals. A little while later I went downstairs for x-rays. My high school and college Spanish came back a little and I was able to communicate enough with the nurses so I felt comfortable around them. Don't get me wrong – my vocabulary was very very limited but a few simple words were enough for me.

 

Around 9am, they had me change into the hospital gown and wheeled me to the OR. I was drug-free still at this point so I remember it well. I went down the hall to a room and slid sideways through a window onto a different gurney, then I was wheeled into the OR and moved onto the table. The anesthesiologist introduced himself and we joked a bit about the number of people in the room. There seemed to be at least 10 and Dr. A or Dr. Gabriel weren't even there yet. I remember asking if he sold tickets to the event and around that time he started my IV (one shot, yay!) and I was out pretty fast.

 

The next thing I remember was being back in the temp. room and coming too and feeling very dizzy. Then they moved me over to my real room and I fell back asleep. I remember hearing my husband call a few people to let them know how everything went and I remember the nurses putting drugs in my IV. I woke up a few times during the afternoon and was really nauseated. I dry heaved at least 5-6 times throughout the day, which was the worst.

 

Around 4pm I finally felt good enough to get out of bed and try walking a bit. It was really hard at first but I had to get out of bed – I was feeling antsy – and by this time, I was almost over my dry heaves and feeling so much less dizzy than earlier. I called my mom who couldn't believe how good I sounded considering I just had surgery a few hours earlier. I just walked as much as I could all evening long.

 

By late evening I was exhausted again, maybe I had overdone it with the walking, but I couldn't sit still and I couldn't find a comfortable position in any of the chairs or the hospital bed. I did finally throw up a tablespoon of foam but I think that was the last real nausea I had.

 

The doctors came in several times to check on me, Dr. Gabriel was there around 10pm, and said I was doing really well and he was excited to see me moving so much. I tried to go to sleep for a few hours but wasn't too successful.

 

Also that night I met Christina, she is the other nurse Dr. A hired that is fully bilingual. What a total doll!!

 

 

Sunday, 7/13 – Day after surgery

 

I woke up around 4:30am for no real reason. The nurses saw my hand with the IV was getting swollen so they decided to move my IV to my other hand. After 2 failed attempts I convinced them not to try again since I knew my leak test would be around 10am and then I could start ice chips.

 

I spent most of the early morning hours walking the halls and it felt so liberating to be out there without the IV pole. The hardest part about this day was the contractions from the gas in my stomach. Sometimes they would hit me so hard I had to sit down or hold on to something but a girl who got sleeved the day before me told me that by her 2^nd day out, hers were mostly gone so I had some hope.

 

Dr. A came in early and saw me without my IV so he started me on ice chips that morning. He warned me that since the water was cold it might give me more contractions when they hit my stomach but they'll also help reduce the swelling. I was very scared to try one but eventually I did and it wasn't too bad. I had a few throughout the day.

 

Later that morning Dr. Gabriel came and got us for the leak test. I was terrified to drink the stuff so I took the tiniest sips possible – so small that I had to do an extra sip (3 total) just so they could make sure it was all good. I didn't want to see the monitor so they turned it off for me and I happily have no idea what my insides look like.

 

That afternoon – more walking, ice chips and resting when I could. I still found it hard to get comfortable on any chair or the bed. I also started getting acid indigestion so the nurses gave me some liquid medicine. I sipped it slowly all evening and it really helped. I still had the gas pains but they were s-l-o-w-l-y improving too.

 

That night Dr. A came in around 10pm, I had been asleep for about 45 minutes so I was a bit groggy by then. He took off the bandages and teased me by saying he could see my intestines through the holes (since I didn't want to look). He also joked that his stitches were much better that the ones done when I had my gall bladder out in 2002 so they'll heal nicer. We'll see, lol.

 

I was able to sleep on my side/stomach that night (with Dr. A's blessing) and that really helped – as did the sleeping pill I asked him for. I don't know what it was but it worked amazingly!

 

 

Monday, 7/14 – 2 days after surgery

 

Unfortunately my neighbor decided at 4:30am to watch tv very loudly and it woke me and my husband up. The nurses were good about getting her back to sleep and turning the tv off but I was wide awake so I walked and walked and walked some more.

 

Around 7am Dr. A came in to say good-bye and let us know Dr. Gabriel would be in soon to go over our meds to go and further instructions. He had 4 surgeries for that day – 1 assist with his father on a gall bladder removal and 3 bariatric patients.

 

Soon after Dr. Gabriel came and went over all our stuff with us and we said good-bye to him as well and got in the van with Rosy to go to San Antonio. The ride up was forever long because I still had gas pain and couldn't get too comfortable but the conversation was fun. Rosy is such a sweetheart and I now know why her fan club is almost as big as Dr. A's (if not bigger!).

 

We got the La Quinta and after got in our rooms I took a nice long nap. I spent all afternoon/evening there and didn't leave the room until the next morning for our flights home. My husband was hungry so he walked over to a Whataburger about 5-10 minutes away and ate it there (thank you!).

 

I couldn't believe how much better I felt than the day before.

 

Tuesday, 7/15 – Travel home day

 

We repacked and left the hotel by 9am for our 10:45am flights home. We splurged and got first class tickets for both flights and it was sooooo worth it. It was nice not to be cramped into tight seats with all those people in coach and the chairs were so much more comfortable, I even took a little nap on one of the flights and enjoyed apple juice on the flights.

 

Being home is so great!!!

 

Couple of points of information:

• My husband ate at a few of the local restaurants near the hospital in Mexico and there was a convenience store about 1-2 blocks away. The are was very safe and he said the food was good (or at least good enough!).

• I kept in touch with Susan throughout my time there and she even called me at La Quinta the morning before we left, which was so sweet of her. It really made me feel like they care of my well-being for the long run.

• I asked Dr. A how big my stomach was, he laughed and said “REALLY big” - he has a really great sense of humor and loves to tease/have fun.

• I think doing the liquid diet beforehand was really helpful because I had faced a few of my food demons before the surgery so it made it easier to accept not eating for a while longer.

• I am on day 5 and have absolutely NO real hunger. A few commercials on tv make things look appetizing but that's just my head hunger and I'm working on that separately.

• I am really antsy, still can't sit still, but I did sleep for 8 hours last night, which seems like a record since the surgery.

• I am down 21 lbs total – I think I lost about 13 pre-op and 8 post-op.

My surgery is set for July 12. I made my deposit and between now and then I have to decide how to pay the rest (donations accepted, lol).

I am beginning to have "last supper" syndrome - went out and bought foods I don't normally eat on a regular basis because I won't be eating them for a long long long time - if ever again.

I start my pre-op diet on June 28 - 6 weeks to go!!