OLTL, Bikers, Beans, and Pepper Spray...

Apr 18, 2011

Once again, its the very beginning of the week and life is a fucking mess. Go figure! So lets see, where to start.. where to start.

Okay, I was totally devastated last week when I woke to the news that ONE LIFE TO LIVE was canceled. WTF?!?!!? Will I ever know if John finds out he's Natalies baby dad? Which personality will rein supreme; Jessica or Tess? Will Brody win her back and does he still have visions of that little boy he killed in Iraq? Who the fuck killed Eddie Ford? Will that little fat black girl ever learn to act??? Did Todd really get a face transplant or have we all been fooled by years by someone who is nothing more than a hot imposter? Is Niki out for good or will Vicki get rid of her? Will Charlie find out Echo knew Clint was really Rexs father all along? Will Cole get out of Prison so he and Starr can live happily ever after or is he now some buff guys bitch? But most importantly will Shane continue to be bullied by Jack Manning and throw himself off a roof for real this time? How can they do this to me? Do they think I can just uninvest myself in the lives of all of those in Lanview after all these years?? FUCK ME… this is not going to boad well for me! I may have to create this madness in my own life just to make it through, if you're reading this and feel for me at all… let me know which roll you would like to play in my personal soap opera. I would like to play the hot, skanky, rich one… but not the one who crash lands on an island where a doctor leads the pack, an asian chick get knocked up by someone other than her husband and some skinny blonde guy finds ceramic dolls filled with coke…. Oh wait, nevermind, that was lost…

My two girls… (my party girls and besties) went to LA for a Biker rally that I was very sad to miss. While they were gone I received some amazing text messages…. some of random penis' …. and them sexually mounting harleys and some scruffy bikers I would have loved to work over. They come home with stories like no other and Im still sad I missed it… Slutty friends rock… thats really all I have to say about that… Their husbands… well would probably have more to say on the matter if they were aware that they did not go to LA to help a friends sister move?!?!?! Really are these men really that stupid… although I love that mine falls for all the same stupid lines… If I have to give Amy another fucking candle at 2am after a night of drunken dancing and grinding on sloppy drunk men so she can convince her husband that she was a fucking candle party I may kill myself. Ive had to give the bitch sex toys… jewelry… the list goes on and on… cause apparently every time we go out she's at some stupid candle/tupperware/cooking/jewelry/sex toy party…. Yeah for good friends….

My daughters two dads came to spend the weekend with her, they are a hot mess. Together they form almost one functional Father. Don't get me wrong they love her but they're a fucking mess. They hosted a BBQ for her at the park… which seemed weirdly awkward. They all sat there in silence with like all 14 of her guy friends who pretended to not notice that... her… dads well… that they're were two of them trying very hard to not appear gay. Maybe they were unaware that all the kids knew? I don't know but the level of uncomfortableness was very fun for me...They brought her an Easter Basket… and are you ready for this it was filled with: Bubble Gum Eggs, Whoppers, Peeps, Jelly beans…. and then… just because they're fucking retarded.. A can of Rosertia Refried Beans and some Pepper Spray! WTF… First off I get that they are Mexican and currently reside in East LA, I get that they are gay men and have no Clue what a 13 year girl likes but beans and pepper spray. She doesn't even eat beans… and is not even remotely trust worthy enough to carry pepper spray! She is already planning which friends to douse first… and under which circumstances it would be considered "self defense" as to avoid prison time FML…. When I tried to explain this them, they appeared not only totally confused by this information but offended that she wouldn't be "into the beans" OMG To think I spent over a year of my life fucking this man… FUCK FUCK FUCK…. 5 more years and she will be grown… Im marking my calendar with big rainbow colored fucking X's

So other than this the last few days have been somewhat normal… Ive been chatting with the Waffle while he is laid up and he will need all of your support if he ever gets home… and in the off chance he has to live at the hospital we will have to start sending care packages… Luckily the bitch cant eat so we wont have to send food…. Although… he likes to swallow so maybe we could get creative? 

Well theres an update into the world of Jen… 
Hugs, kisses and hairy cock
Jen

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