justjackie

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Holy cow.  I am offically more than halfway to my goal weight.  My doctor said 200 lbs I would be great thats really close :)  180 I would be spectacular :)

Sat without much loss from Feb 15 to March 19 - that stunk but it happens and I didnt let it defeat me.  I am down from a size 34-36 to an 18-20 shirt and 20-22 pants.  I mean I walked right in to a store and bought a pair of non stretchy pants in a size 22 and THEY FIT GOOOOOOOOOOD!!! Wow.  I am so thankful I was able to have this surgery.  I wish I wouldnt have let the pressure of those around me talk me out of it for so many years.  Glad I finally grew a spine and did something that was just for me :)

Went to the doctor today my 6 weeks check up and I am down to 340.5 lbs.  That means I am only 14 lbs away from my 100 lbs from my January 2009 weight and on 32 lbs from 100 lbs from my August 18, 2009 weight.  I havent weight this little in  I cant remember how long.  I am thrilled and excited.  And even a little scared.  I have had this weight to keep people at a distance for the better part of 20 years and in reality most of my 50 years has been spent overweight.  I wonder what life will be like at a normal weight.  What will I be like when I can no longer crack fat girl jokes.   I dont know but it looks like I might actually get to find out.  I guess deep deep ddddddddeeeeep in me I figured I would probably fail at this like I have always in the past.  But this looks like it might actually get me to where I wanna be!!

Doing well I think :)  I have lost 28 lbs since my surgery and 60 lbs total since the 18th of August when I first saw the surgeon so I think thats pretty good :)
I am starting to get my energy back better.  I had been very tired and spoke with the Nut who suggested I add a few more calories to the day and that seems to help.  I was actually able to cross my legs last night like a girl what a trip made me feel sooooo good.

I need to learn how to cook better.  All I know how to do is the food that got me to this place.So my fear is as I gain more foods back not knowing what else to eat will be my downfall so my main goal this month is to find food alternatives and try them like it or not.  I have always been a picky eater so I gotta push through.

Joined Planet fitness this last Friday - My one month surgiversary - went for my first workout today.  Unfortunately there was no one there to show me how to use the equipment so the only thing I could do was use the treadmill and the recumbant bike.

BOY am I outta shape lol.  I managed to do 2 miles on the bike with my heartrate up and 1/2 mile on the treadmill.  Need to get beyond the embarassment.  Thought I was going to die of embarassment just getting my leg up over the bike but I did it.  Thankfully there wasnt a whole lotta people there :)  BUT I DID IT embarassment and all so to me I say atta girl

One week ago I had my surgery and came through it amazingly well.  Very little pain, never needed the pump :) since I have been home i have been blessed to have my sisters and my son and daughter in law have been taking care of me.  Wont let me do a whole lot on my own lol.  i need to get more active AND QUICKLY.  Going to start working at it seriously tomorrow

Boy The support here is so nice.  I have learned so much just from being here......You guys are awesome.

I got the call Monday - the day is October 6, 2009.  I have spent the last couple of days vacilating between bliss and utter fear.  I know it is all ridiculous, I am not afraid of dying, honestly if the Lord chooses to take me home during the surgery then he decides to call me home and it would have happened regardless.  I think I am afraid of facing the thin me.  You know in the past I would do great on a diet and then just quit.  I think I was afraid of meeting my thin self, since its something I have never really known.  I can just quit this without serious problems.  Not that I want to its just a scary feeling facing your unknown future.  I want this so bad, I guess I am just afraid of whats to come.

I got the word today that the insurance company after getting my paperwork just last Thursday...like 2 business days ago lol they have approved my surgery request!  I am soooo very happy and so overwhelmed with emotion that I dont even know what to do.  I could actually get this done in September but because of my commitments at work I am going to have to wait until the first of October.  Thats okay, I am a planner from way back and I would be uncomfortable if I rushed into it withing being prepared completely!  So now I start.  Getting a list together of everything I want to accomplish prior to the date.  
I cant imagine life without being overweight?  I am so excited and overwhelmed at the same time.