Its offical I have the date!! 10-6-09

Sep 16, 2009

I got the call Monday - the day is October 6, 2009.  I have spent the last couple of days vacilating between bliss and utter fear.  I know it is all ridiculous, I am not afraid of dying, honestly if the Lord chooses to take me home during the surgery then he decides to call me home and it would have happened regardless.  I think I am afraid of facing the thin me.  You know in the past I would do great on a diet and then just quit.  I think I was afraid of meeting my thin self, since its something I have never really known.  I can just quit this without serious problems.  Not that I want to its just a scary feeling facing your unknown future.  I want this so bad, I guess I am just afraid of whats to come.

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