kat19136

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Well...I am not the best blogger that's for sure, but wanted to do an update on me.  It has been an amazing year, I am only 3 lbs from goal, and am hoping to be there by my doc's appt next week, but I don't sweat the numbers to much.  I thank God I am not totally obsessed with that, although I do have to admit I love it!! I don't ever remember being this small in my life.  I feel good most of the time, on occasion I get dizzy and plan to talk to the docs about that both my surgeon and my primary when I go.  I am pretty sure it has something to do with low blood pressure and/or my consistent lack of getting in good hydration.  I tend to drink to much coffee, so I have to force in the water.  I believe I am pretty on point with my protein but my labs will tell the tale.  I take my vitamins daily, but think I am probably going to need to tweak since I only seem to get them in once a day.  Seems like everyone else is taking two or three doses a day. We will see, everyone is different.  Hopefully I will be good but if not I will make a change.  

This has been a long and emotional year for me.  I lost my mother and have lost another person from my own self, over 160lbs, that is a big change that I sometimes can't wrap my mind around.  I think it's starting to come together for me now though, I am starting to feel happy and enjoy myself again.  I really miss mom alot and wish she could see me now.  In fact I think I haven't been dealing with that very much until writing it just now fills me with tears.  She was my best friend in the world and I know she is so happy for my progress, and she did get to see a good bit of it before she left this earth.  So she was happy for me.  I love you Mom!!

I will post hard stats/numbers after my doctors visit next week.  Right now I am just enjoying the ride.  For the record, I pretty much eat what I want, don't count carbs, but DO focus on protein first, and I think if you do that then you automatically limit your carbs, so I tend to not get rigid about anything.  If I want a treat I eat it, whatever it is.  Because I do this now, I no longer feel obsessed by it and need to have it everyday, once in while is fine.  Food no longer rules my life.  Thank you Lord!!

Will check in on my surgiversery..thanks to all who have helped me along the way here on OH! 

 Thought I would update a bit and can't believe I haven't is so long.  I am doing great, loving my DS!!  I am a little over six months out and am at 116lbs lost....it's just so amazing I can't believe I have done so well.  It has hardly been an effort, my main efforts are in eating enough, getting in my protien and vits.  I do pretty well most of the times but sometimes I do get lax, so I have to work on that, but in my own defense I have had a rough go of it in other areas of my life that have caused me to get neglectful sometimes.  

My Mom passed on 03/22/09, after battling lung cancer for about 1 year.  She was my best friend, and it was a rough time to be sure.   She went into the hospital in early March at my insistence, she was having some heart troubles, and really did not want to go, because I think she knew she wasn't going to make it.  She really wanted to die at home and I was really dealing with some guilt over making her go to the hospital and my Mom didn't hold back and told me she was mad at me for making her go.  So as things declined we did get hospice involved and were able to get her home in the end.  She came home on a Friday and when the hospice nurse checked in that day, she told me she had hours to days to live and I was shocked.  I knew things weren't good, but I still thought she was going to improve and be o.k. for a while.  By Saturday she was pretty out of it and we were feeding her the morphine every few hours.  I slept downstairs with her that Saturday night and at 5 a.m. gave her the morhphine and went back to sleep, when I woke up around 8:30 she was gone.  I felt a little bad that I was not right by her side when this happened but I don't think I could have handled that and feel It happened that way for a reason.  

I have been doing fairly well since then, I have my moments of course, but have been able to get myself back on track with vits and protein, with some exceptions when I get down, I have notice I don't eat...Imagine that....I used to eat my way through everything.  Now I have to force it sometimes if I am depressed.  But for the most part I do well, because I know that Mom would want me to take care of myself and be well.  

So that is where I am at now....losing steadily and loving it, my only complaint at this time is my face, I feel like I look much older now that I did with my chubby face, but I will take that trade off and someday maybe treat myself to a little work.  Was thinking about getting that awake lift, or lifestyle lift.  It's a minor facelift, where they just pull up around the chin/neck area.  We'll see...I have to see how the rest of the body skin does, so far it's not too bad, but I still have a little ways to go to get to goal.  I am keeping my fingers crossed that it won't be too bad!!  

That's it for now....

I have lost 37 lbs!!  Woohoo!!  But I do feel like I am struggling to follow my DS rules.  But I also tend to be to  hard on myself.  I am trying my best but not getting in the 80-100 grams of protien, but from all accounts I see from others I might be expecting too much too soon of myself.  I do try to get in at least 50 grams with my sups, and then what I eat, but I haven't even been tracking it very well, so I need to work on that too.  I do stick to drinking water or crystal light, but haven't kept track of that either, but I do watch my pee to be sure I am not becoming dehydrated.
I have started having some tummy trouble, alot of acid, and some nausea.  Trying to work through that now, I think I need to focus on a good breakfast to overcome having issues all day. 

Well this is it, it's finally here!! I am off to the hospital in about 1 hour.  I had a rough couple of days leading up to this.  It really hurts when you turn to friends you think  you can depend on and they let you down.  All I needed was a ride to and from the hospital, and apparently that was too much to ask of some people.  My friend who was supposed to take me is 'sick' now and can't do it, but she is always 'sick'  so that doesn't mean much to me, if it was someone else I might understand but this is always the case with her, I knew I shouldn't have depended on her.  Oh well, I have at least one true friend who despite her fears of driving to places she is not familiar with will take me.  Actually I will drive up and she can drive my car back, which should make it easier on her, since she will see how easy it is to get too.  I will post as soon as I can post op.

Well it has finally happened, I have a date, October 29th, 2008!!! WOOHOOO!!   I can't wait till I see the confirmation of all this on paper so I can feel safe.  Especially since I just learned another person is scheduled the same week as me and I thought that Dr. B only did one DS a week...so that makes me nervous!  I have to get focused now on quitting smoking and losing my fifteen lbs!!   I have some commit lozenges to help me get started on cutting back and will take it from there.  I still have my script for chantix too.  I plan to start  walking on the treadmill at work fo start losing and getting in good physical shape as I believe that will help alot with recovery and establish and good habit now of excersize.  I am so excited to finally really feel like this is going to happen!!

One more thing to check off the list!! Everything looks good down there except I have a Hiatal Hernia, Doc says it is very small and may or may not need repair, but if so they will do it during my DS Surgery.  I have a few calls into the office to find out if I was submitted, or if I have to wait til after the Lung/Heart doc appointments.  Heart Docs are on the 18th and I am still trying to get the Lung appt, seems to be some confusion there, I will have to follow up on Monday morning.  I feel like I may, just may have lost a couple lbs, have been trying go cut out some bad habits, like dunkin donuts, when  I do go now, I just get my coffee, always w/splenda and that is it.

I have a call into the office about the insurance submission, will hopefully hear something Monday.  That's it for now!

Well I finally met Dr.B and he is a sweetheart.  I like him alot and he seemed very understanding as to all the task I have ahead of me to quit smoking and lose weight, but I am now feeling more determined and motivated as I move closer to this goal of surgery.  I will get my chantix this week and see if I can set a goal, or I may focus on the weight loss first and let the smoking go a bit until I get closer to get a surgery date.  Maybe that will help not heap to much pressure on me at once.  I just want to have the medicine so I am prepared when the time comes.  

I am low on Vit D, so I have to start that for a month and have another lab for it after a month.  I have a fatty liver so they will do a biopsy while they are in there, and they also remove the appendix, which I didn't know, but that is fine with me.  Wish they would take the gall bladder too, but they said only if it was diseased or had stones, which I apparently don't have as of yet.

My EGD is scheduled for 07/03/08, and I am praying for a cancellation!!! I hate all this waiting!!   But I also need to see a cardiologist and pulmonologist so I guess it will give me time to get all that done.

I am excited and feel like I am getting closer!! Yea!! Dr. B also stated that the DS was a good choice for me, so that was a relief.  For some reason I was afraid they may challenge me on that.  

Can't wait to be on the losers bench with you all!!

Well, I had my first appt at Dr. Bonnani's with Maggie.  My head is spinning and it's all a little overwhelming, but I won't chicken out...just feels like I have to give up everything!!  Smoking, drinking and eating! LOL  I have mixed feelings about it, mostly fear of failure I think.  But I will do it all and it will be well worth it.

I set up a Dr. appt with my primary for March 28 to get the bloodwork done and see where I can go to get the rest of the tests.  My Appt with Dr. Bonnani is 5/30/08.  I also am relieved to know my insurance shouldn't be a problem, as I see with so many others here.  Thank God!! 

Also my weight is at it's all time highest OMG I am 302 now......I just can't believe it, but I can feel it.  I think I have been really out of control for while now, and especially since deciding to have the surgery, but I know I must get a handle on it.  

Kat

I attended my first info session last week and have my first consult with the Nurse on 3/19.  Got that bumped up from the 24th because I just couldn't wait.  I am so excited now to be making this journey now that I have finally come down of my fence and comitted to it.  I am leaning towards having the DS, but will have to wait til my consult with the Doc I guess before that is final.  

Looking forward to the future now!!