Kelly T.

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I just love Spring!  And summer.  And Fall.  And sometimes Winter...just not right now. 

So, I ended up having my gallbladder removed on 2/26.  It was an uneventful surgery.  I actually say that with pure amazement because my recovery from the sleeve was horrible.  I had serious pain issues.  Maybe that little Mexican painpill was just a placebo!  Anyway, I went back to the gym on my sixth day of recovery.  I didn't want to stay away too long for fear of not being able to get back into it.  I also took advantage of the recovery time to attempt the 5 day pouch test.  I did okay on it.  I did have some cheats but overall I think I accomplished my goal.  I got back on track with the rules and really started limiting my carb intake again.  I've lost 8lbs since surgery.  I feel great.  My size 10s are getting "comfy" borderline loose.  I can't imagine that I would be able to fit into an 8 but I think I'm well on my way!  The smallest size that I ever recall wearing is a 10. 

I feel good. 

It's been a long time since I've posted so I just wanted to put some updates on here.  I have been doing pretty well since my last post.  The weight loss has been slow, though.  I know, some that may say that it's a good thing.  However, I'm still having some serious Gallbladder issues. 

I exercised at least 5 times per week in October and November, but fell off the wagon mid-December.  I finally got it back together during the end of January and went back to the gym.  I went on my first cruise (one of my goals!) on 2/7.  It was great.  I did hear that cruises were mostly about the food.  On the second day, I realized that yes, this applied to me, too.  I found myself planning out how often I could eat.  I got a little irritable and angry at myself so I went and found the gym.  I worked out 5 out of the 7 days on the cruise.  I didn't eat too much but did consume quite a bit of alcohol!  Empty calories, I tell ya!  I know, some will scold me for the alcohol.  Thanks for your concern but I already know.

I'm still working out regularly but nervous because I know I might fall off the wagon again after my surgery.  Oh, about that...I wish I would've asked the doctor to remove it during my sleeve.  I thought that I wouldn't have a problem with the stones because I was already starting out at a low BMI.  I was wrong.  My first gallbladder attack was 11/23.  It was awful!  It was the worst pain (right next to a non-medicated delivery of a 9 lb baby) that I have ever experienced in my life.  I then proceeded to have 6 more attacks over the upcoming months and finally landed in the ER this week with Pacreatitis.   I had not been seen by a doctor up to this point because I think I was in denial.  I'm a healthy person all around and don't really get sick.  The occasional sniffles or a cold but nothing more serious.  The other thing, I'm a nurse and we can fix ourselves, right?  ;)  I was trying to change my eating habits to see if they would go away.  That didn't work.  I'm probably going to have the surgery this week.  I feel a little frustrated because I've really nursed my scars to try and help them fade and now they have to be opened again!  Oh, well.  I'll probably never wear a bikini again. 

I haven't really kept a great log at my weight loss because it has been SO SLOW!!  I think my total since the day of my surgery is now at 42.5 lbs.  My health tracker should show it.  I think that the surgery will help me lose a few pounds over the upcoming weeks.

I'm now working on another goal...getting back in the military.  So far, not a lot of luck.  However, I think I will be able to start with the Reserves.  It's just going to be a tedious process and one that I dread. 

I just wanted to let you all know how I'm doing with my eating habits and abilities.  When I feel hungry, my stomach acts like it wants to growl.  It climbs up the hill but then never makes the noise.  That's how I know I'm hungry and need to eat.  Not to say that I don't like to snack throughout the day!  That has been a problem for me...the consumption of sweets.  Love love love chocolates, cake, cookies, brownies.  Definitely staying away from that with the belly issues right now.  The amount of food that I can eat:  One 3-4 oz piece of chicken breast and a couple of bites of a side.  One taco comfortably, two and being uncomfortable.  One chicken hot dog with the bun and 3-4 baked chips.  One 3-4 oz piece of steak and a couple of bites of side dish.  I'm not always thrilled with my choices but then I think, "yeah, so what?  I ate a taco.  Six months ago I probably would've eaten 6 tacos!"  I do throw up 1-2 times per month.  Not on purpose, just from overeating.  I'm still working on the mental portion of it.  I think my kids have finally gotten used to it.  I can tell you that I didn't think that protein drinks were going to be my thing.  I was just going to drink them long enough to start getting my protein from food.  However, I have somehow along the way come to appreciate them.  I have one at least 3-4 times per week.  It helps me open up my options a little bit more for food choices.  I drink the EAS chocolate ones.  Today I had a fruit smoothie with the non-flavored protein.  We'll see how I do.  I'm on "gallbladder rest" right now.

I know a few more people who have had or are planning on having the sleeve.  I'm so happy for them.  It is going to be wonderful to watch other people's lives change for the better.  I still wish I could go up to all of the fluffy people and say, "I know how you feel.  You don't even have to say it.  Please, just go and do this.  Your life can be different".  I don't, though.  I don't want to seem like a salesperson.  I also feel a little embarrassed that I took "the easy way out".  But, I know that I work hard in the gym every week to keep it like this now.  I can't promise that I'll do it forever, but I'm going to do it today and most likely, tomorrow.  I feel dedicated to this lifestyle change.

Well, this post has been much longer than I expected it to be.  I think I'll also post it on the forum as an update for those that are considering the surgery.  I welcome any questions. 

One more thing....

I LOVE MY SLEEVE!!!

Going to try and post a pic from the cruise on here.  It's not the best pic but it does show me in a swimsuit!  Oops.  It posted to the top.  Maybe I'll try another one...  Not sure what happened to the second one.  Oh, well. 

Cheers, OH family!!

Thought I would throw some thoughts down on paper here.  I'm seven weeks out now and feeling great.  I can honestly say that I was a walking zombie for the first six weeks!  I felt like I needed a blood transfusion!  Anyway, I finally went back to the gym yesterday.  I went to a "Body Jam" class yesterday and a "Latin Mix" class today.  I had a blast at both of them. 

I went to Mississippi over the weekend to see my brother play college ball.  I had a great time.  Did a little shopping and spent time with my parents.  I drank alcohol for the first time Friday night.  It went fine.  I had two glasses of Merlot (I think they bought it at the gas station next door and stored it in the freezer!).  I did get pretty lit but I think they overfilled the glasses and I actually had about 4 or 5 glasses.  It went fine but I retained water over the next couple of days so I think I probably won't be doing that very often.

I still haven't reached the "overweight" category.  Not stressing.  Feeling good about myself.

That's all that I can think of for now.  Thanks for reading!

Five more pounds and I will leave my OBESE title forever and enter the world of OVERWEIGHT.

Ok.  I think I'm finally picking my head up out of the sand and realizing that I just may be able to live with this whole sleeve thingy!  I'll tell you a little bit of a gross story....I was at work last week and we were pretty busy.  I had just discharged one patient and was expecting to get another one.  So...I had about 15 minutes to grab something to eat (12 hr shift!).  I had brought tuna fish.  So...I did the best that I could but because I was eating so quickly, I think that I took one or two more bites than I should have.  My new patient was admitted and was very close to delivery already.  It was important to her that she get her epidural so I was moving pretty quickly.  I had the WORST feeling in my chest.  You know.  That uncomfortable full feeling?  I was foaming and profusely sweating.  My patient kept belching and aplogizing for her indigestion.  I told her not to worry because I was having sympathy indigestion for her!    Well, it got to be too much.  I poked my head out of the room and mouthed to my friend and co-worker, "I'm going to throw up.  Can you just give me two minutes"?  She knows that I had surgery and came running in so I could go to the bathroom.  I had to initiate the deed in the bathroom.  It was awful!  I've never actually vomited through my nose before but can you imagine pieces of tuna?!?!    Disgusting.  Haven't had tuna since.My patient and I proceeded to share my Altoids.

Moving on.

Today I am an eating fool!!  I made crockpot taco chicken last night.  I woke up at 2:30am (hazard of a shift worker) and finished a whole serving in about 30 minutes.  I drank about 30 oz of crystal light between that and the egg with laughing cow cheese at 7am.  I then proceeded to consume a mediteranean mix of black and green olives, mozarella cheese, artichokes and tomatoes at 9am.  1030am-three crackers and a piece of cheese.

I do not feel full at all and my mind is hungry!  Grrrrrr!

I guess it kind of feels good because I'm able to eat something and not throwing up, getting the gurgles, the foamies, etc.  Maybe this will kick-start my weight loss??  I've read that if I shock my body...blah blah blah.  Hopefully.  We'll see.

I'm making a meatloaf for the crock tonight!  Love the crock.

Did I tell you that I've lost 20 lbs?  It's coming off very slow but it's coming off.  That's all that matters.

What do you guys think?  I wrote this in my blog for the record but I'm going to put it on the board for feedback.  Sorry about the graphic nature!

I have been reading the boards everyday and appreciating the feelings and advice of pre and post op VSGers.  I've learned a lot but have not posted a blog in awhile for fear of having a negative attitude.  I realize that this is a gift.  A second chance at life.  I admire those that don't ever say negative things and continually offer praise.  I was embarrassed to be having negative feelings and didn't want others to judge me as one of those people that complains and does not appreciate the gifts.  However, I realize that this blog is for me.  This is a testimonial to MY experience for me to read in my future.  So, with that being said, I shall start with the positives. 

1)  I feel lucky that I was able to afford this surgery, have a supportive "man friend" and realized the importance of it before I was older or with comorbidites.
2)  I've lost 18 pounds.
3)  I don't feel self conscious when I bend over in front of my co-workers and patients.
4)  I wore a tight 16 before surgery and should have been wearing an 18.  I bought snug 14s today and a couple of cute size large shirts at the Gap.
5)  When I picked my kids up from the airport after not seeing them since before surgery, they both said that I "looked skinny".
6)  I'm watching a Weight watchers commercial right now and feeling relieved that I don't have to join... AGAIN.
7)  Co-workers notice and comment on my weight loss everyday.  I can see the amazement in people's expressions when they haven't seen me in awhile.
8)  My incisions look great.  I think I'll have minimal scarring.

Now for the negatives....

1)  Tomorrow is 4 weeks and I think I need to stay on mushies.  I've tried to advance as directed and have vomited 3 times.
2)  I am feeling sad that I had this surgery.
3)  I will never be able to eat a yummy FULL bowl of pasta noodles or Thai noodles at one sitting again. 
4)  I like spicy food but cannot tolerate it without drinking water with my meals.
5)  I feel obligated to make up excuses to restaurant workers like "I'm just getting over the flu", or worse, "I'm pregnant".
6)  I feel more embarrassed than happy when people make comments on my weight loss.  It's almost like a feeling of shame that I chose to have surgery instead of losing weight the traditional way.  Only a couple of people know about the surgery.
7)  I feel like I'm missing out on life without good  food and in an abundance.  Ironic, huh??
8)  I'm going to see family on 9/25.  I was hoping to be much thinner by then.
9)  I'm not really following the rules.  I don't have room for all of my water.  I definitely only get about half of the protein that I need.  I just don't feel like I have room and I'm so nervous about vomiting!

And finally....

10)  I'm pretty sure I'm in a stall.  No weight loss for 11 days, which I'm sure, is related to number 9.

No negative comments are needed.  I just wanted to put my feelings on paper.  I make a habit of reading all of the great advice that everyone gives and know what I'm doing wrong. 

I promise to post a more positive post at a later time.

It's been a few days since I've written anything and I really want to keep up with this so I can look back on my experience.  I've actually had a pretty rough week.  Monday and Tuesday went well.  I really focused on getting my protein in and did an ok job.  However, I did notices that I was starting to have cold sweats for no apparent reason.  I went to work for an eight hour shift on Wednesday night.  I was feeling a little down in the dumps but wrote it off as fear of being back to work.  Luckily, we didn't have a lot going on so I sat around a lot and even was able to sneak about an hour nap.  I didn't talk much because I was in a little bit of pain, felt a little bit weak and didn't really know who I was at work anymore without the snacking!  Isn't that crazy?  Well, I came home Thursday morning and went straight to bed.  I woke up in the middle of the day for a couple of hours and then made myself go back to bed that night because I had to go back to work.  Well, I woke up Thursday night feeling just awful.  I was so weak that I couldn't even lift my head off of the pillow.  I also had a fever.  Of course, having the typical newbie fear, I just knew that I had a leak!!   I called in sick to work, which I absolutely HATE doing.  So many thoughts were going through my mind.  I was now going to have to go into the ER and tell them that I went to MEXICO and had surgery and have not followed up with anyone since I've been home.  Really, I don't even know who my primary care doctor is!  I have good insurance but I'm just a healthy person so I don't really go to the doctor.  Plus, it's a benefit to work in a hospital.  : )  After careful triage of myself (common health hazard of a nurse), I decided that best case scenario...I was severely dehydrated.  I had focused so much on getting the dumb protein shakes in that I had absolutely no room for any additional fluids.  I decided that I would try and make it through the night.  I went back to the basics....Gatorade and water.  Well, that was my plan but then I slept through the entire night.  Needless to say, I had gotten about 6oz in by the next morning. 

My friend stopped by that next morning to take my stitches out.  That was a bit of an ordeal in itself because my skin had started healing over the stitches so we really had to dig for them.  If I've learned anything about myself in this experience, it's that I'm a complete BABY when it comes to pain.  As a matter of fact, I can think of a much more vulgar word that describes me with pain.    A little side note, my stitches are out and my incisions look great.

Back to the dehydration drama.  My fever broke Friday morning.  I rested throughout the day and felt better and better with appropriate hydration.  I am still cautious but am finally ready to declare that I FEEL BETTER!!    I went to a movie last night and saw The Ugly Truth.  Very funny movie.  We went to Cracker Barrel afterwards and I ordered the meatloaf.  I was able to get about eight tiny bites in with about four green beans.  The meatloaf was very tender and went down easily.  I have leftovers that will last me for about eight meals, I'm sure.   Today I did some shopping and ate some tiny bites of chicken salad from Chick Filet.  It was very good but does have a high calorie content. 

Oh, I forgot the best part.....I've lost 14 pounds in 12 days!!

And that, my friends, brings me below 200 lbs. 

I woke up this morning on the emotional roller coaster.  I had some really bad feelings when I was in Mexico for my surgery about the aftercare that was provided.  As you may know, I'm a nurse so I can of course be a bit critical about medical issues.  I am really so angry at myself for being so careless with my life.  I could be dead right now if what happened to Caveman had happened to me.

Anyway, I was feeling a little down this morning but decided that I would try to do what I was supposed to do.  I am happy to report that I have already consumed 30gms of protein and taken the dogs for almost a mile walk.  I had 8oz fat free chocolate milk with a scoop of protein for breakfast.  It took almost an hour to get down.  I had 4oz cottage cheese with crushed pineapple for lunch and I'm trying hard to get my water in.  Now, I should tell you that I have always been DISGUSTED by cottage cheese!  I'm pleasantly surprised that I can tolerate it and I may decide that I like it. 

I go back to work tonight.  I was supposed to work three 12 hr shifts tonight but got a doctor's note to work three 8 hr shifts instead.  I'm going to see how it goes.  I may be able to finish the whole shift but I'm still having a lot of incisional pain on my upper left side.  Either way, I'm excited to get going with my life again.  Hopefully, I'll get busy and just lose the weight without even realizing it.  I'll just wake up one day and look in the mirror and be like, "hey, when did that happen"? 

Ok, that's all for now.  Going to drink some more water and take a little napper.  :)

I am seven days out today.  I have lost 7.5 lbs so far.  However, I'm definitely struggling a bit.  The first four days were terrible for me.   Before I keep going, it's important to let everyone know that I REALLY AM AN OPTIMIST!   Anyway, I just arrived home from Mexico/California late last night.  Of course, because of the traveling and hotels, I am definitely not on track.  I'm lucky if I get one bottle of water in right now and I've had zero protein.  I went out to lunch on Saturday and had PHO soup (which is really just a broth that you can add different things to).  I thought I was something because I tolerated that so well.  Moving on, the two other restaurants that I went to had soups.  I tried to choose the lesser of the evil but think I made terrible choices.  After just a couple of sips, I felt like I had dropped three Alkaseltzers in my chest!!  It felt awful.  So, pretty much just water since then.  Don't scold me, that's in the past .

My pain is so-so.  I still have to walk a little slow.  My incision on my upper left side hurts like a MF'er.  I go back to work on Tuesday (nurse on Labor and Delivery)

Anyway, today is a new day.  I slept in my bed and I have a bullet downstairs.  I'm wondering how you're supposed to get your protein in with clear liquids.  Any suggestions?  Also, when did most of your doctors advise you to move onto liquid diet from clear liquid diet?  Can I start the shakes now?  All the different kinds like the recipes show?  Can I have split pea soup if I put it in the bullet and make it more liquid?

Ahhh, this too shall pass.

  I am seriously mourning food.  When we went to the restaurants, I studied the menus and imagined what I could eat if I were a little more advanced.  I helped my boyfriend pick what would be the yummiest for him and then drooled like a little kid when his food came out.  I have realized this weekend how much of my life was centered around food.  Everything fun that I did was surrounded by my food choice for that outing.  Let's go to the mall....we can eat at the food court.  Let's go to the bookstore.  Maybe we can stop at a really good restaurant before/after.  Let's get up early and go to Home Depot.  Oh, yeah!  We could go to IHOP or Denny's first!  Let's go to Busch Gardens.  They have these awesome smoked turkey legs there.  I don't know if I'm ever going to be able to focus on the enjoyment of these outings WITHOUT food being the main focus. 

I moved into a new house two weeks ago and REALLY needed to purge my closet.  I have gone from two huge walk-in closets to one walk-in closet.  I was completely dreading it and didn't think that I wanted to get rid of anything, especially since I haven't even had surgery yet!  I dragged myself in there and started pulling a couple of things off of hangers just to try and make some room.  The more that I looked through, the more clothes I grabbed and threw on the floor!  I was getting a bit angry, actually.  The clothes that I had in there were UGLY!!  There were some that I had left from when I was thinner (not skinny but THINNER) that were completely out of style now.  Others were ones that were bigger that I once thought were kind of cute.  Now I realize that they're really not cute, they were just the only ones that I could find that somewhat fit.  They were mostly cheaply made which pisses me off.  Anyway, even if the surgery doesn't work for me and I don't lose weight, I needed to get rid of those clothes.  I'm glad that I did it.

So, about the cookies.....  Freshly made deli cookies are my absolute FAV and I can't believe that I won't be able to have them again.  So, I ate ten coconut and pecan soft yummy cookies right after I was done taking out all of my ugly clothes.  I don't even regret it because it was pure HEAVEN.   What is wrong with me???!!!

I officially have 8 days until my surgery.  Less than a week before I leave to go to California.  I am so relieved.  However, I've realized that I've been a complete BEOTCH over the past couple of weeks!  I don't know if it's nerves, or hormones, or fear, or I don't know what.  Luckily, my kids are going to their father's for a month in August which will carry me through the first month post-op.  At least I won't have to fix too many regular meals while I'm doing the liquid diet.

Ok, I think I'm done rambling.  Any thoughts are always welcome!  Take care!

Oh, yeah, does anyone know if there's a forum for lower BMI people starting out?