Kim27sd

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When I first started the process of trying to get an approval from the insurance company the list of things that they sent to me that I needed to do and the requirements/qualifications that i needed to meet seemed like it was a never ending list. Through the process it seemed like I would take one step forward and 20 steps back. On a weekly basis I would have set backs after set back and the only thing that kept me going with the process was about a year ago I had a dream that I was sitting in a hospital bed waiting to go into surgery. Throughouts this process I just knew that I was going to get approved so I just needed to stick things out. Well one of the requirements that was on the list has changed my life. The requirement was to see a exercise therapist. Well I had assumed that I was to go to a personal trainer which I did. Her name is Jamie and she is so awesome! I still see her two times a week. Well then I talked to the insurance company and they said no you need to see a physical therapist. Which in my mind I was like why in the hell would i need to go see a physical therapist, but bowing to the insurance company and I did so and I am so happy that I did. From the point that I went to go see Terry and working out with Jamie everything just seemed to turn around for me. Yea I had a couple set backs here and there in the process but it seemed as if the process was moving forward alot quicker and alot smoother than before. I feel like I have an awesome support team around me that is helping me through everything and supporting me and egging me on and it just feels so great for the first time. I can't wait to go to the gym, and before it was a dreadful thing to think about going to the gym now I love it! I still see Jamie twice a week sometimes three and I have lost 37 pounds since sept 13, 2007 and lost overall 12 inches!!!! I am so proud of myself! I am gaining more confidence everyday. Whenever I see Terry in the gym he is always asking me how I am doing and if I have any questions, he is awesome. He had recommended to the insurance company that I go back and see him after surgery so he can gradually help me get back into my routine. Which I think is an awesome idea so i am going to ask my pcp to get a prescription to go back to him. I really didn't think that I was going to need  to go to pt but I am so glad that i did and I think that everyone should be required to go to a physical therapist and a personal trainer before surgery as long as the insurance company covers it of course.
This weekend I decided it was time to start having "last meals" or "last snacks" meaning tons of sugar. For christmas my boss gave me a 15.00 giftcard to the local gorcery store so I decided that night that I was going to go and get a broasted chicken and with the rest of the money I was going to buy junk food. Talk about an embarrassing thing going through the check out! I bought the broasted chicken, cheesecake, nuttybars, meduim bag of m & m's, 6 pack of Snickers, and wheat thins I was so embarrassed the lady was looking at me like don't you eat anything good?! At the same time I am having this battle in my mind of not eating that stuff because of the fact I don't want to ruin the success that I have had already with my 37 pound weight loss that I have worked so hard for. Well anyways I had been craving a snickers bar for four days and when I got into the car i ripped open that bag and ate one and while I was eating it I felt so guilty. My mom knew it to...she asked me if it was good and I gave her a nod and a ummhumm and she was like but you feel guilty and I said yep. What a feeling to feel right before WLS! I have always thought I would just devour it and love it and than only dream about having it again but it wasn't like that at all i felt guilty and could only think about getting to the gym to work it off even thinking about going on sunday which is my day off from the gym just to work off the extra calories! Other than that I felt nothing. I came to the conculsion I wouldn't really know it was one of my last candy bars until after I had surgery and I was craving for one and I couldn't have it. So than I think to myself whats the point of eating all of the extra calories, and there isn't. It is food and that is it. Wish I could have figured that out about 10 years ago it would have saved me alot of extra pounds and money. 
It is 3 weeks from today when I will be having my surgery and I am so excited. It just seems like that is ages away but I know when I look back it is going to seem like nothing so in the mean time I will continue to prepare myself for this surgery and keep eating healthy and working out and trying to get the chewing part right and not drinking when I am eating down and then i think I will have prepared myself as best as I possible could have. I am so proud of myself! :) 
There is this guy his name is Mark that is a personal trainer at the gym I go to and oh my gosh he is sooooooooooo hot! Plus he is really nice. Today he was working out and oh man, to die for! Trust me if he was my trainer I don't think I would be able to concentrate on working out!  He had a sleeveless shirt on and he is perfect. I don't like guys that are really huge. I like them when they have a shirt on you can tell they are in shape but you really can't tell how well in shape they are....but then they take off their shirts they are ripped and muscles are well defined....and that is exactly how Mark is! I was walking on the treadmill and he was doing some weights in front of me and oh my gosh all I could do was stare glad no one could see me staring. After I have surgery i am going to ask Jamie about him to see if he is married or what his deal is cause damn I want him! Ok I will stop my drooling session I need to go and get some errands done. :)

Today I went to my group dietian meeting before my surgery on the 28th of January. When I was sitting in the meeting it sounded so easy to do and Kristin made it sound so simple but after I left and started really thinking about it and reading everything it just seemed really over whelming and I know as time goes on it will get alot easier to do. It is new habits that I need to learn and teach myself to live differently and eat differently. I haven't had a soda in almost a week I forget the exact day it was that I had my last one I am thinking it was sat on sunday it was really hard because I wanted a soda so bad but I hung in there and didn't give in to it and haven't wanted one since which is fine with me because the sooner I can ween myself off of it the better I will be. I am trying to eat slower and in smaller portions but that is something that is going to take alot of time and concentration. I have noticed the smaller the bite that I take the longer I can chew it where as if I take a bigger bite i tend to just want to swallow instead of chew it really well. I have also been eating with a baby spoon which has really helped in how much to put in my mouth. When I am used to shoveling it in now it feels like I barely have anything in my mouth. 
Well then the past 3 1/2 months I have been doing alot of working out. For one because my insurance required that I go to a physical therapist and two I got a personal trainer to help me. So I have been doing alot of working out and have lost a total of 31 pounds which I am so proud of myself for. Well then at the meeting today Kristen said that they would like us to lose between 10-40 pounds to help with surgery and the recovery, etc.. well then she went on to say that if you lose more than 40 pounds than you shouldn't need the surgery because you can do it on your own. Well I wanted to lose 10 more pounds before I go into surgery but at the same time I am torn in different directions. One side of me wants to keep going at the pace I am going so after I get done with surgery I can get back into it again because when I don't work out I really miss it because it really does help with my stress level. then it goes to well you want to eat the things that you really aren't going to get to eat after surgery. So if I do that I know I can still maintain the weight but than I feel guilty because I want to lose more weight. Then the other part of me goes you need to stop losing weight because wonder if they don't think you need the surgery if you can lose 40 pounds because I know when I hit that 50 pound marker there is goes on a down hill slide and all the weight will come back on again. Then another part of me is afraid that I am going to start eating these foods that I love just one last time and I am going to gain everything back which is that last thing that I want. I know what I need to do and what is best for me which is to keep working out the way that I have been and then keep a little bit here and there of my favorite foods so that I can still lose so I can have the best of both words. Because I have finally figured out you don't need to stuff yourself with a bowl of ice cream or whatever the guilty pleasure is just a little taste will do and it won't do that much damage. I have gotten it down to some point of how to back off before I regret eating it which is a huge feet for me because I usually eat myself into a gut ache and regret it for hours afterwards. I have decided this weekend I am going to have chinese food. One of my favorites. I love pork fried rice and also sweet and sour chicken. I want to order both of them so bad but I know I should only get one so what I am thinking is maybe order the pork fried rice one night and than one day for lunch order a small lunch size so I can have both and not eating both at one sitting which I know I can't do anymore. My only other big favorite is ice cream but I don't really have a craving for that at all I am sure I will the second I have the surgery I love snickers bars to..ooohh that sounds so good right now! why am I tempting myself???I know it will be one of the last times I will ever get to eat a whole candy bar but it is a decision that I have made to better myself and my life. I know after I have the surgery at first I will miss food terribly but I know I will gradually forget about food and live my life and only eat to nurish my body not to live my life around food.

It is going to be January 28, 2008!!! What an awesome way to start out a new year!!! WOOHOO!!!
Just yesterday i was about ready to jump out of my skin wanting to know when I was going to have it and low and behold a day later here I am knowing the day. My cheeks are hurting from smiling so much!! I haven't been soo happy in such a long time. A friend asked me if I am nervous...I told her no I am so excited. In the back of my mind I was thinking ask me a couple of days before surgery and you will get a totally different answer. 
The only surgery I have ever had done was to get my wisdom teeth taken out when I was 14 years old. I have never had major surgery so I have no idea what to expect at all. I know certain things will happen from what the people at my surgeons office has told me and what I have read on this site but nothing is like the real thing. The closer it gets the more nervous I will become and the more impatient I will be just as any other wls patient. 
NOTHINGS GOING TO STOP ME NOW!!!

I am so anxious to find out when I am going to be having my surgery. I stare at the calender wondering which day that it is going to be. I am hoping to find out some time this week when I am going to have it. Now that I have been approved I just want to get it done as soon as possible. I am starting to make a list of everything that I need to get done before surgery which seems to get longer and longer everyday. At times it is still hard to believe that it is actually going to happen. I have waited 13 years to have this surgery and sometimes I just need to pinch myself just to let myself know that I am not dreaming. I am keeping my fingers crossed that I will find out this week because waiting to find out is about as bad if not worse waiting to find out if I have been approved for surgery.

Finally after 13 years of wanting this surgery and 6 months of dealing with the insurance company and jumping through hoops for them I am approved the first try!!! WOO HOO!!! I have wanted this for so long and now that it has finally come I can hardly even believe it, it still sn't sunk in yet. I am riding on cloud nine. I called the insurance company riding there ass again making sure they received everything and that they did push the deadline for my paperwork back to the 27th of December, and the lady asked me if it was for the RNY and I said yes and she said it that I was approved, I sat there dumb founded like I had no idea how to comprehend what she was saying to me and she was like yes it says right here that you are approved for the RNY and I was like well ok. I got off the phone and sat there for a minute and was like what just happened here. Then I jumped out of my chair and ran upstairs and screamed to my mom I got approved!!  She ran downstairs and gave me a huge hug and started crying because she knows how badly I wanted this surgery and all of the struggles that I have gone through and I know she is worried that something is going to happen to me medically if I don't lose this weight and I am sure that it is a burden off her shoulders just as much as it is off of mine. What a Christmas present!!! I couldn't have asked for anything better to start 2008 out with. I am still trying to let it sink in but I have to keep asking myself is that what she really said and have to reenforce to myself that is what she said. When I get the letter in the mail that will be my confirmation and my reenforcement. I am going to frame that baby!!. I have never been so happy in my life as I am today!! I can't wait for what the future holds!!

I have been working out with a personal trainer and also  a physical therapist that my insurance company is requiring me to see. I started at 332 pounds and I am down to 311...I have lost 22 pounds!!! I am so excited my goal was to lost 10 pounds before surgery but I have doubled that which I couldn't be happier about, I have alot of confidence in the team that I am building around me from my doctors, dietians, trainers, therapist, counselors to make this surgery a success for me. I am still waiting on the insurance company they requested more information so I am having to get all of the drs and therapists and shrinks to get there stuff together to get them to my surgeons office before the e13th of dec because I have to have all information to the insurance company by the 13th or I will have to start the whole process over again! ugh I am not going to do that so I am riding everyone to get it in and calling and checking on a daily basis if they received anything and then also calling the insurance company.I knew that the waiting would be hard and I was trying to prepare myself for a denial but at the point all that I have gone through to get to this point I am almost numb to the situation. The first month that it started i was on edge and moody all the time becuase I was so stressing about what the decision would be and a month later when I called the insurance company they are like we didn't receive it till yesterday (when they already had, had it a month!) so I was going to have to wait another month it just kinda turned me off to the situation and I am just going through the motions that they want me to go through to get to the point of whether or not they are going to say yes or no. I am hoping and praying it will be yes! if I am approved I am going to wait till january to have the surgery because then they can be stuck with the medical bills for the rest of the year! I really hate this insurance company alot of the people that you talk to are very rude and its like they have no idea what the hell they are doing. Isn't that all insurance companies though. So now I am just waiting for everyone to get their duckies in a row so I can send more paper work to the insurance company and praying that I am approved.

My story is like many others here, I have been overweight my entire life and have done anything that I could possibly do to lose weight which has brought me here to the point of have gastric bypass surgery.
I am 28 years old and currently 324 pounds, with a BMI of 53.9, I have done all dieting from weight watchers, dietians, counseling, starvation, medications, physician surpverised programs, teen programs, Dr. phil books and program,basically any diet that was worth trying was what I have done. The lowest weight I remember is 220 pounds when I was a junior in high school.
I am currently waiting on a pre exsisting condition clause to send the information in to my insurance company to get an approval. I have waited so long for this, it finally feels like it is with in reaching distance.