I'm FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oct 11, 2007

Its official...I'm FREE! I am happy to announce that my divorce was finalized this morning @ 9:25am CST. Words cannot express the way that I feel right now. Am I sad? HELLZ NAW! It's his lost not mine. Another thing that has me happy is that I've weighed 195lbs for the past week and it's hard to believe. Hard work really does pay off. I haven't had a chance to exercise alot this week because I have alot of things going on right now on top of going to work and seeing about my grandmother. I am however keeping up with my calories and fat grams daily to make sure I don't over do it. That's it for now, I just wanted to add that tidbit of info on my blog today because it happened today and I wanted that to go down in history today not later on becasue knowing me I would have left something out that I wanted to say. Finna head out...Until next time

T.G.I.F.

Oct 05, 2007

I know its been a minute since I've posted, so let me update...The scale has finally moved and for the past 2-3 days I've weighed in @ 199lbs. I am so excited because I haven't been this small is so long. Some of my 14's are loose and I even have some 12's that I've bought a couple weeks ago that fitted snug when I got them but fit well now.  I've also started writing down everything that I eat and counting calories. Now that I look back I am amazed at how much I was eating, not that I was eating bad stuff but I was eating alot. I would kind of keep mental notes of what I was eating and keeping the calorie count in my head not accouting for the "little" stuff that I pop in my mouth. I have a new motto now that I think about everytime I eat something and I write it on my food journal at the begining of the day before I log my breakfast..."If you can't count it (the calories) don't eat it." I love that! I've also found this new website that helps me keep up with the calorie content of some foods that I am not sure of (my-calorie-counter.com). I have went to another level with my exercises...I do cardio for 10-30minitues and then I do sets of interval/circuit training and it is wonderful. I can truly say that the weight that I am losing now is fat and not muscle. I just pray that I can continue on this path that I am on and not stray like I've done so many times in the past. Well that's it for now! Until next time...Oh, My divorce will be final on the 11th!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just Another Manic Monday...

Sep 17, 2007

Well not really, I am just getting ready to go to work and decided to drop a few lines to update on my progress. I've still been struggling with these 5 lbs and I have started lifting light weights. I went on the internet and found this really nice circuit training routine that combines weight lifting and cardio and it really has me sweating up something serious. I do 30 minutes on the elliptical and 3 circuits of the routine which is about 25-30 minutes and then I stretch for 5-10 minitues. I am really enjoying this and I pray that I don't get burned out. However I don't think I will because this is something that I've always wanted to do but never have the guts or the energy to do it. I have came to this conclusion today and I plan to stick with it...I have so much going on in my life right now to feel bad about, the one thing I should feel good about is myself and I am working on that everyday. I refuse to continue to hurt myself making bad choices with food. This past weekend I have talked myself into eating things I know that I did not need and after I ate it I felt so bad that I wish I hadn't eaten it. I realized that doing this is abuse to myself. I would rather feel bad for not eating crap than to eat it and feel even worse. I have a vision in my head of the way I want to look and I plan to continue on this track until I reach my goal. I did not allow the doctors to cut my guts and trim my stomach to get back to 350lbs. I gotta get this right. Whew, I guess I had all that pinned up and I needed to get that off my chest. Wish I had a "true" friend to talk and vent to that can understand the issues that I have with food and the struggles that I have with this surgery daily (good and bad). Sometimes it seems like people want to see you fail because they know someone else that had the surgery failed, or they are just mad because you aren't bigger than them now. Well that's it for now time to go to work.

T.G.I.F.

Sep 07, 2007

So happy that this is another week gone! There is not much to update about. Still the same 'ol stuff going on in my life work, work, and more work. I am still going back and forward with these same 5 lbs that seem to go nowhere but I have made up my mind to not get discouraged and to keep on doing what I am doing. I have made the decision to start lifting weights everyday no matter what. I've start to see some definition in my arms, legs, and abs. I am so hype about the weight lifting thing. I've always wanted to be very muscular and I am begining to see everything form. On the other hand I might need to loose these last 40lbs before I start bulking up...I don't know. I've been battling wiht food all week long. It seems like I just want some chips so bad that I can't function that's really scary to me. I ate a fish sandwich yesterday and a few fries (Mcdonalds) but I didn't really feel all that bad because I know that I exercise everyday and I make sure that I burn 1000+ calories. However I don't want to fall into the trap that I exercise and burn so many calories that I can eat anything and still have no consequences to suffer from making bad food choices. Although I don't overeat and I am very aware of the foods that I put in my body I don't want to get into the habit of making bad choices. I could have very well ordered a grilled chicken sandwich and been very satisfied. I will do better next time...Until then!


T.G.I.F.

Aug 24, 2007

I am so happy that this week is over with. Even though this weekend is my weekend to work I will be in and out of here like nobody's business. I am having one of those days where just about everybody gets on my nerves. It's almost like the sound of some people's voice just makes my mufu'n blood boil. I am the type of person that loves to see people acheive their goals whatever they are. Why can't people be happy for what I acheive? Tricks mean muggin' on a sistah for no reason, saying good morning with attitudes...I just stop speaking and be about my own business. I normally don't give a fu--you  know the rest--about what people say or think about me, but today I just don't feel like it. I got enough going on in my personal life to deal with that all other things are so trivial to me. Ok, let me get back on track here because I was just all over the place a minute ago. Antyways, I did good this morning with my exercises...I burned 800 calories on the elliptical and 200 calories on the stair stepper. I made this bomb a** CD to workout to and I was sweating like a runaway slave when I was finished. I made sure that the last song was something that could just get me hype...the song was Bombs Over Bagdad by Outkast (bob yo head ragtop--bob yo head ragtop) man that had me pumpin' I was hurting but I kept on>>I see what the bodybuilders mean now when they say workout to failure cause I wanted to stop but I kept going until I burned those 200 calories. See that's what people need to do...stop hating and get into peoples head to see what motivates them. If I see someone that I think has a nice shape (man or woman) or anything for that matter that I desire, I talk to them to see where they are coming from, see what not only motivates them but what helps them to continue to do what they do. Some people are so simple. Ok for real let me get off my little soap box...I'm done venting. I really need to find me some true friends to talk to because I don't really like venting on this blog thing. Till next time!


As Promised...

Aug 23, 2007

I said that I would try to keep this blog thing up but there is really nothing that I want to write about. Actually there is but it is too personal to put on here, but I can say that my lawyer's office contacted me and said that if my nuthin' a** husband doesn't appear by Sept. 4th that my divorce will be granted by default but I still have to go before the judge. I can't wait either. I wish it was by the 31st of this month (his birthday) so I could find him and give him the decree as his present. I could be very depressed over this whole situation but I can say that I am handling this very well. There is no more rain in this cloud and that's REAL TALK! I feel like this it's his lost not mine, I just hate I wasted more than half of my life dealing with this gutter a** fool. Nevertheless I chalk it all up as stupid tax and one of life's many lessons learned. Antyways let me stop before I get too personal...didn't mean to put all this on here but I guess I had to vent. This morning I hit a goal!!! I burned 1001 calories on the elliptical! It took me about 82 minutes and I was late for work but it was worth it. I am feeling it now because it is so hard for me to walk up and down those stairs to get to my desk...it's a good pain though. My next goal is to do 30 minutes on the stair stepper (I can only do 15 now) and burn about 300-400 calories on that. I guess I am not into how long I exercise but how many calories that I burn. I did a Taebo bootcamp tape yesterday for an hour and that kicked my butt as well. I think I will take some new pics and load them up sometime this week. I haven't lost any weight but I have went down another size since my last uploads in July. That's it for now...I guess I did have something to blog!

As Usual...

Aug 21, 2007

I procrastinate so much. I knew when I wrote that I would keep my profile updated that I was not going to be able to do it. I'm on this website every single day dipping and reading everybody's business and can't keep up with my own! Antyways, I was officially 1 year post op on July 27th 2007! Here are the stats...Started out May 05 @ 350lbs, lost down to 347lbs before I started 6 month supervised diet in Oct 05. The day of my surgery I weighed in @ 330lbs wearing a size 30W pants, 48DDD bra, and at least a 4XL top, size 14 panties, size 9W shoes.....need I say more! Today I am 205lbs. I focus mainly on body measurements so here they are------------36-32-45 (damn those hips). My bra size is 34-36DD, pants size is 14, I can wear large and some medium tops, my shoe size is 7 1/2 (some 8), panties size 8. For those who can't believe yes you can be over 200lbs and wear a 14, guess it depends on your body type. Alot of people are telling me that I am at a good size and I don't need to lose anymore weight but I beg to differ. It seems like no one understands when they have never been 350+ pounds. I was explaining to one of my associates the other day that there is not a switch that I can hit to stop the weight or the inches from coming off. I still want to loose about 40 more pounds. I really want my hips to go down to like a 40 or 38, have to work hard on that though because hips, thighs, and a** runs in the family. Aujah (my daughter) started her first day in high school a week ago. I have to stay prayed up when she is concerned because I see alot of me in her like when I was her age. My mom told me when I was cuttin' up when I was a teenager that if I have a girl she was going to give me a run for my money...and she was not lyin'. As for other things in my life all is well as can be expected. I am still going through alot of personal issuse that I don't want to blog but I am taking and dealing with everything one day @ a time. That's it for now!


Trucking Along

Jun 12, 2007

Things are still the same, I am still hovering around the same weight that I was at last month. It is somewhat fustrating that my numbers are not moving like I "think" they should. I am on the other hand losing alot of inches. It seems like if the weight is not coming off the inches are and vice versa. I can't complain though because I think I look pretty good aside from the loose skin which is not that bad. I have really upped my exercise routine and started my B-12 shots on Sunday. I don't see all of the extra energy that everyone is talking about maybe it takes a couple months to get into the system. My plan is to start blogging more to include my exercise and eating habits but my time doesn't always allow that. I try not to focus on body weight and try to thing what I want my body measurements to be before I start the matinance part of this journey. Before surgery my measurments were around 46-52-55, as of today they are 36-33 1/2-45, yep the hips and the boedonka are out there. Can't remember what I want them to look like @ goal but definately smaller than what they are now. I would love to loose @ least 50-60 more pounds. thats it for now will work on blogging eating and exercising info in the future.

Slow...Very Slow

May 27, 2007

Things are going well, just very slow. It seems like that I am losing soo slow. I haven't lost any weight this month actually I've lost and gained the same 5 lbs the whole month. I really wish I was losing 10 lbs a month like I was a few months ago. I haven't been eating crazy and I don't snack between meals at all. I follow a good eating schedule Mon-Fri and on the weekend I treat myself but I don't get out of control. I don't beleive in cutting everything out of my eating style. The only things that I completly omit is sugar, sodas, mostly fried food, sweet snacks (even sugar free) quick snacks and junk food. I think I am doing good though and I can't complain. I surround myself with pictures of myself @ my highest weight on my fridge, bathroom and bedroom mirrors. I have to stay on track there is no other option. I guess I will up load some more recent pictures I am exactly 10 months post op today down 115 pounds since surgery. My goal is to lose 50-60 lbs (or more) by the time I hit the 18 month mark. Later!

Update

May 14, 2007

Everything is going as well as can be expected these days. I have been dealing with a lot of personal issuses that has had me depressed for the past several weeks. Fortunately I haven't turned to food as a comfort in helping me deal with these issues. I have a great fear that has been lurking with me since I had this surgery. The fear is weight gain. I have been reading the WLS graduate borard alot lately and that's all that I see there is people with the same question..." how do I get back on track?" It scares me everytime I read on that board, but it also helps me to keep things on the right track for myself. I've lost over 100lbs since surgery and to think that could gain back a pound after 2 or 3 years scares me senseless. I just wonder about those that gain after so long...do they just go back to their old habits, do they start off thinking they can have a little and control it, is it all grazing throughout the day, did the surgery fail them or did they fail the surgery. I pray to God alot about this, I would be devestated to have lost and gain back. Anyway just something I just wanted to get off of my chest. However I will continue to read the boards and the post about those and their weight gain and take mental notes on what not to do, like graze, no soft drinks  (not even diet), no sugar, no simple carbs, ect. My motto is Mind over Body, it has helped me get out of a lot of sticky situations... not just with food!


About Me
AL
Location
27.5
BMI
RNY
Surgery
07/27/2006
Surgery Date
Feb 25, 2006
Member Since

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