kinidisoul

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ok, so i'm being a little slack keeping everyone updated...sooo sorry!

so i'm 3 weeks and 1 day post-op and things are going well. i had my first post-op appointment ith my surgeon on thursday. it went really quick...we could have almost done it over the phone and saved my gas!! i suppose he just wanted to check my incisions and make sure they were healing well, which they are...they're almost gone! the biggest one, of course, is the most visible. they scheduled an appointment for 9/18 for my first fill. i can't wait! i don't feel much, if any, restriction now, but i'm still watching what i eat. i never knew how much i loved carbs until now!! i think that's the hardest part for me. but, hey, i'm a work in progress and i'm working on me.

yesterday was my first day back to work and i was glad to have a warm reception. several people asked lots of questions about my procedure and what happens next...well, they get to witness what happens next! my surgery hasn't been a secret and i'm always happy to answer an questions anyone may have. i'm also usd to unsolicited opinionism (lol, is that a word?!)...and i have no problem addressing those opinions...we're all entitled, right?

i started walking for exercise in the evening with the ladies from work and it feels great! i also met with a personal trainer yesterday who'll have something written up for me by the end of the week. just hoping to add a little variety to the exercise routine to keep me from getting BORED!!

oh well, this is enough for now i suppose...i'll update with pics soon, but i don't think there's a real difference yet. i've been fluctuating between 10-13 lbs down, 15 was the highest. it's intersting, i went straight from liquids to solid food, per my nutritionist, of course, so i attribute those couple of lbs to that...but no worries because i'm back to a regular exercise routine so i know the weight will start to fall off soon enough!!!

happy losing ladies!!! and gentlemen :-)

~k

ok, people, here's a short report on how things are going since my lapband surgery last monday, july 27th, 2009!

things are still going a lot better than i expected prior to my surgery.  still no real pain to speak of besides gas pain, which is definitely on its way out.  it has gotten so much better from last week to this week.  i'm still having a hard time burping, but thank goodness it comes out another way (lol!). and thank goodness i live alone and have not yet returned to work!

and speaking of bodily functions [[WARNING!! POTENTIAL GROSS OUT!!]], i didn't have a bowel movement until 1 week after my surgery...and i'm sure i wouldn't have happened then if i didn't take something for it.  i was supposed to take something sooner, but i was afraid something was gonna happen--what??--i have no idea, lol...so i took some Phillip's Milk of Magnesia (disgusting, smells (and tastes??!!) like turtle food!!) to get things moving. lord, i hope i never have to have another taste of that for as long as i live!

in other news...i'm down 15 lbs. since my surgery day.  i weighed in at 291 and now i'm 276. this is a really a huge surprise to me cuz i don't feel like i've lost anything.  or look like i have, either.  but the scale says i have.  i even have other people who are aware of their weight to get on the scale and check!!  i'll see for sure tomorrow when i go see my nutritionist...and lord knows i can't wait! i'm so ready to advance a stage in what i can consume, because this liquids thing is leading me  LOONEY!! lol

as far as exercise, i haven't been doing much b/c i'm not supposed to.  just walking, which is what i'm supposed to be doing.  i haven't really sat still since i left the hospital last tuesday! maybe that's what helped with the gas pains! who knows...

oh well, until next time, HAPPY LOSING!!

ok, so everything is said and done with. the big day has come and gone. everything went according to plan.  i don't think things could have gone any smoother!

i stayed in the hospital only one night and i have six battle scars (incisions). there was/is little to no pain. the only pain i have come from the awful gas in my stomach that i have the hardest time passing!

i haven't had any trouble keeping anything down! i've been drinking water, and water with sugar-free mixes in them, as well as my protein shakes.  i prefer atkins advantage and slim fast lo card diet shakes. both in chocolate and vanilla, nice and chilled. they both meet my nutritionist's requirements of 15 grams of protein and less than 5 grams of carbs.

i have pictures and video and i'll be back with updates, but i must head to bed now!!

one final note: at this point, i have absolutely no regrets about choosing to have this procedure!

talk to ya soon!

ok, the time is near...in less than 24 hours, i'm goin' under the knife! i'm having a little bit of anxiety, but nothing major...i imagine it's about the same for anyone who'll be having any type of procedure.  oh well, i'll be back soon with an update!!

ok, so, today is exactly one week before my surgery.  the knots in my stomach increase with each passing day!! i'm a little nervous, but i think the knots can be attributed to anticipation more than anything else. it probably also has something to do with the x-factor.  that would be the unknown. all of the things to come that, regardless of what i read or what people tell me, i just won't expect or know exactly how to handle until i go through.

for instance the way i look.  this is the only me i've ever known. how in the world could i get used to seeing "someone else" in the mirror everyday?  what if one day i look like the type of girl i always wanted to look like and it goes to my head?  i laugh, but really, anything is possible.  i surely hope that's not the case.

also, there's a little bit of guilt.  i have friends my size who either want to have the surgery but can't, or don't want to have it, but are struggling to make the slightest bit of progess "the old fashioned way." what if they feel like i've changed and don't feel comfortable talking to me about the things we talk about now.  or if i don't feel comfortable sharing my weight loss victories with them because i don't want to make them feel bad.

what if people talk about the changes i'm going through or how i look because they were as used to the old me as i was? what if people say i've changed or i'm acting "brand new?" just so many different thoughts...so many what ifs.

regardless, i'm excited...i can't remember the last time i was this excited about anything.  i'm going to try to make sure i keep things updated here because i know how beneficial it was (and still is) to me to read other people's blogs.  and i promise to take tons of pics.  i'm sooo looking forward to the day when i'm in front of the camera waay more than i'm behind the camera.

just 7 more days now...

omg! i'm sooo excited! my surgery date is just 2 weeks away...not too long ago this all seemed like a major impossibility and now it's right around the corner...

it's hard to imagine i can look much different that i do now, i guess i'll just wait and see.

i had my pre-op appointment with my nutritionist yesterday.  i thought in the two weeks prior to surgery, i would be restricted to liquids only.  i was thrilled to find out that's not the case!  it will me mostly liquid with a few salads and the like in the mix, but at least i get to eat. and it's cool cuz i love salads anyway. i have to make sure i stock up on protein shakes this weekend, as i'll have to have 3 per day during this time.

my cousin had the same surgery (lapband) in may and told me yesterday that she's down 40 lbs already so that gives me a great deal of hope and optimism.

i don't know what the outcome of this will be, but i will be patient and await the outcome while thinking positive about everything at the same time.

i'll be back soon, with an update...probably the day before surgery to get out my pre-surgery jitters!!

OMG!! i really just can't believe it's really happening.  it just all seems sooo surreal.

yaaayyy, me!!! i have a surgery date. july 27th is the big date. i'm sooo excited, a little nervous, sooo anxious, but not scared. all i can say is...I CAN'T WAIT!

ok, so i finally got the word on wednesday, may 6!  my lapband procedure has been approved by my insurance company, aetna, with no issues, appeals, anything, whatsoever.  all i have to do to get scheduled is pay a deductible of only about $450.  a small price to pay i think!  so i'll do that at the end of this week! i'm soo excited! i'm sooo anxious!  i'm soooo scared! lol! i can't help but wonder if i should "leave well enough alone."  all though these thouhgts are there, nothing will stop me! i can't wait. 

the bariatric coordinator told me that one i pay my money, they'll send my chart to scheduling.  she said there's a little bit of a waiting list, but that i should be in there no later than AUGUST!!  it's so close, i can touch it, taste it, feel it!!!

 well, i'm on my way.  i had my first of two psych appts on 12/30/08 with dr. lurey.  that was nothing major, just  lots of questions and i love to talk, so that was a great fit! i also go homework from him!  a thick packet to complete and a couple of questionnaires.  i'm gonna finish those up tonight and drop them by his office one day this week. 

i also had my radiology testing on 1/05/09 at the women's hospital (at 7:15am!).  they did several x-rays as well as an ekg.  they also did some type of upper gi testing.  they made me drink barium sulfate **barf!**  could they not have given me whole milk!  ugh!  it was kinda cool to watch it go thru my esophagus into my stomach and empty into my small intestines (i think, lol).

thanks to a cancelation at the nutritionishts office, i had my appt moved up one week and got to see her 1/07/09.  she was pretty nice, she just liked to repeat herself!  and i like for people to just get to the point when talking to me, but i stuck it out.

my next appt is for the breath-tek/h. pylori at 7:15am 1/13/09.  i am NOT a morning person! but that means i shouldn't have to take time off from work.  but i'm soooo lucky b/c i just got a new position at work (12/15/08) with VERY flexible hours.  also, i'll need to get my bloodwork done this week at labcorp. and that will be it...with the exception of the bariatric education class that i am required to attend on 1/22/09.

ok...enough of that...

i'm so anxious to go thru with this that i don't know what to do.  i'm so tired of being sick and tired. sick. AND. tired.  i want to go out again.  i want to met real people.  i want a life offline. i want to meet men.  and i want those men to be more concerned about me liking them and wanting to keep them around rather than having me bare the brunt of that burden.  i want them to work to attract me.  and wait for my call!  lol.  really.  i'm tired of waiting for the phone to ring.

about a month ago i met this guy face to face.  we'd been talking online for at least two months.  the funny thing is that we work at the same place.  we met on a conference call and starting communicating by the IM that we use at work.  it had be nothing major, just friendly chit chat on a daily basis.  it eventually turned in to texts after work and on the weekends, still nothing major, just friendly chit chat.  one day he decides he's going to come down to see me.  i thought it went well!  besides, we were just friends right?  u might as well say that was the last i heard of him.  he had seen pictures of me, but apparently, the person in my pics and i are not one in the same.  color me surprised.

i'm tired of people lying to my face telling me that my weight isn't a barrier to finding the person i want.  i'm tired of my sister telling me that i'm not "that big" when she calls herself fat at any given moment.  i'm just sick, that's all...

enough venting for today...

oh yeah, i was sick this past week and not in the gym.  time to head back tomorrow after work!  45 mins of cardio and 2 set of 14 reps on my favorite strength machines.  i am excited.  at least i haven't gained any weight during my week off.  until next time...
 

each time i visit this site, i tell myself that i will start writing something to journalize my journey...but nothing until now!

i went to the lap band seminar at wesley long hospital in september or october of this year...this was the second time that i had attended.  i also attended one about a year prior but never did what i needed to do to get started.  this time i was more serious then i'd ever been.

i'm 28 years old now, quickly approaching 30...not that 30 is very old, but i just realize that i've never really given myself the opportunity to "have a life."  i've always allowed my weight to hold me back and the more and more it became an issue the larger i would become. 

there was a time when i would hang out with my friends and go to clubs or different types of events.  i did this until i had enough of being ignored by people.  of, often times, being the biggest person in the room physically, but being the tiniest socially.  they'd always encourage me to go with them, when i would explain my reasoning for not wanting to go, they'd simply say i was imagining things.  for several years i would not go out anywhere.  then i got to a point where i just didn't care and decided i wouldn't let other people prevent me from enjoying life and having a good time...that didn't last very long.

i was back to staying home in self-exile.  i didn't even want to go shopping with them.  there was hardly a point in trailing around behind them at the mall where there was barely a place for me to shop.

over the past 10 years, i've gained, at my highest weight, 60-70 lbs.  when i started college, i was around 240lbs.  my highest has been about 308 lbs.  I'm currently at 299 lbs.  I have my most recent weight loss effort to thank for that. 

i have lost weight in the past with the most being about 30 lbs.  seemingly inevitably, the pounds would return, bringing a few friends and family members!!

so now i'm on track to have lap band surgery.  i've been attending monthly check-ins with my dr. to make sure i meet that possible insurance requirement.  i have a surgeon, dr. newman with central carolina surgery here in greensboro, nc.  i met with him last thursday and he's pretty nice.  and i'm quite thankful for the bariatric liason in his office who scheduled all of my pre-op appointments instead of having me fend for myself as i had to do some years ago when i had considered wls.  and my pre-op clearances have been scheduled with my first being the psych eval.  that appt is scheduled for tomorrow. 

the other appointments consist of bloodwork, radiology testing, breath-tek/h. pylori (whatever that is, lol), the nutritionist, and i must attend the bariatric education class.  all of this will be over by 01/22/09.  not very long at all.  after that, dr. newman's office will submit my insurance information.  my current provider is bcbsga, but effective 01/01/09 is aetna.  prayerfully, things will go off without a hitch.

i will keep plugging away in the gym and eating better regardless of what happens.