Had my 2 week post-op visit today

Dec 16, 2010

Well I saw one of my surgical associates today, the surgeon was called to the OR so I didn't get to see him...which honestly that was fine with me.  For the first time since this entire process started I felt like the doctor was actually listening.  Maybe it was when I started crying that he realized that I was not playing around.  He was very compassionate and acted like he genuinely cared about how I was feeling.  So when I gathered myself back to normal and wiped my tears he explained that I was doing ok.  He said that he looked at the CT and x-rays and really didn't think that I had a bowel obstruction and if I did I would be showing symptoms like vomiting, constipation, and would be a lot worse off then I am now.  He said that in his opinion the rash was from the strong cleanser that they used right before surgery, I still think it was the pain medication, but oh well it is going/gone away now so its ok.  He agreed that the pain patch was really not in my best interest and was not addressing the pain I was having correctly, so we are trying something else.  He asked me "what can I do to help you"!  A doctor has never asked me that before.  I felt comfortable talking to him, I feel very uncomfortable with my surgeon, not that he is not a great doctor I just think that our personalities don't match.  When I am in pain and don't feel well I don't want someone acting like arrogant.  And that is how he came off when I was in the hospital.  When I said I was having intense stabbing pain....he told me "um yea you did just have major surgery"...really???  But I am also on a morophine pump that I am pressing every 15 mins (yes I counted the minutes until it turned green again meaning I could get another shot).  He didn't seem to care.  So I struggled in the hospital and for the first week when I came home.

Anyway I also met with the NUT, she made me cry too.  Today has been an emotional day.  When I told her I wasn't getting in my protein I thought she was going to kick me but she didn't.  She was very helpful told me that if I can't stomach the protein shakes that I have to eat pureed foods with more protein.  Refried beans covered in cheese, scrambled egg with cheese, cottage cheese, pimiento cheese, tuna, chicken, salmon, things high in protein.  She said that I have to retrain my gut to eat at least 4 times a day....I have only been eating a few bites twice a day.  When I told her how tired I was she said that was my bodies way of saying that something was wrong.  No protein, not eating, not getting in my water, she said eventually my body would start using my muscle for energy which would make things like hair loss worse, and I would feel worse instead of better.  Her insight really helped me as well.  When I told her I was only drinking maybe 20oz of water a day she almost fainted.  I told her that I was just sipping my water because I was afraid I was going to overfill my pouch which would cause more pain then I am already in.  She told me at this stage I should be able to drink a full 4oz at one time.  She told me that the swelling should be down and I should be able to do more, drink more, snack more, eat a little more.  Not to the point of being miserable in pain but that I really have to do what I can to get the protein and water in.  She was not judgmental, she was not rude in her presence and you can tell that she is very devoted and passionate about nutrition and taking care of her body.  And she enjoys helping others know the best way to take care of their bodies as well.

All in all I have to say that I feel better today than I have any other day so far.  And I owe it to the fantastic doctor and NUT that I met with today.  They put things into reality, they let me know that I am not alone, I am not a failure, and that I am on the right track.  This is NOT the easy way out, this is tough, it hurts, its miserable sometimes.  And more times that I can could I have asked myself "why did you do this???"  But I am a positive person and I believe that it will get better.  (it better get better)   

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