latinabeauty1970

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Yes, I am back - after a long time of dealing with life, crap, depression, crap and more crap. I am back because I am so tired of being reminded that I am inflated (words from my own mother). I am tired that I can't walk well since my knees are killing me. I am tired of being tired. I want to feel alive and find a better job and finally be pretty.

Here is a quick update:

1) I have been going out with a wonderful man for almost 3 months now. He has also lost a lot of weight but on his own and his own terms. He reminds me that I am beautiful no matter what but I want to lose weight now to bring my self esteem up and so he can be proud of me.

2) I am losing my job at the end of this year. SOOOOOOO - I am currently hunting, but to no avail. So Here I am

Well I have joined the gym. I am a proud member of Retro Fitness in Sayreville. I am starting out slow by going 3 to 4 days a week, 30 minutes aerobic activity and dedicate each day for a part of my body, one day lower body, one day upper.
I want to get my knee better and hope to go more than 4 days a week.

I have a return appointment for a fill on August 19 with the PA at 4pm. I need to print out everything and get a fill. I am trying to keep a control on my eating, but it's hard.

If anyone is out there and needs a buddy or would like to help me out, let me know. The depression is ever there and well, I am tired of it.

I will write back later tonight. Take care all!

So, I weighed last night and it was 241.8.

Hey I will take it. I am happy.

I had some good news last night. I won a Twilight Makeover from Sephora. I am so psyched. I have never won anything. They are sending a the makeup, perfume, nail polish etc. I am so so so so psyched.

I am a bit busy at work. So, I am trying not to stress out. Have a lot of stuff to do.

Much love to all!

So, I weighed myself yesterday and went from (WII FIT) 244.1lbs to 242.5 pounds. If I look after at what I eat and drink the water I am cool. I do notice that sometimes I am not thinking about food anymore. It is getting less to be an obsession. Right now I am concentrating on reading more books and getting my strength up to start exercising.

Breakfast
cup of coffee
eggs with veggies.

I have been so bad, but oh well, there is nothing I can do to change the past.
I am pretty much stuck at 244lbs. It has been in between 237 (when I was too tight and had to get an unfill) to now at 244lbs. I know I have been bad but I am trying to take control of me - one step and day at a time.

I am watching what I eat and starting to drink my water again. The new job I have keeps me busy and well, I allowed the stress to destroy a bit of my new habits. I have been pushing the limit of my pouch and I have suffered because of that.

Now, I am trying to concentrate on me. I am taking in a lot and breathing a lot and watching what I am eating.

So what did I eat today:

Breakfast:
Quaker Oatmeal with fat free milk (soggy than thick)
1 cup of coffee
Glass of water

Lunch
Frutti Di Mari (small bowl) It was the bday lunch from my staff.
1 glass of water

Dinner:
Chicken, lentils and salad.
Cup of decaf coffee
4 more glasses of water

I will list my lunch and dinner later. My staff wants to take me out for lunch for my birthday. I will try to keep it real and eat slowly. Dinner will be easy - very small.

I want to stop drinking coffee at night, because I tend to want to eat something with it. My goal today is to work out with a dvd. We will see.

I haven’t written much lately, but there has been a lot going on.

First, I am doing my MBA online and I finished the Managerial Accounting course, which kicked my butt, with a B-. I worked really hard. I started September 1^st the Intermediate Accounting course and I am really behind on in it.

Next, I have been trying to change jobs since May. The current position I have is unbearable.

The good news is that I finally got an offer and accepted a position in Corporate Benefits but the good news lasted only 5 seconds.
I work for AIG and if you have heard, the past 5 days have been a roller coaster of a ride. For now, we are ok and I have made sure that my new position is secure. I will be starting there on Monday, September 29^th. CAN I SAY WOO HOO!!!!   Now, in the lap band world, well, I have been doing terrible. I do have restriction and have gotten into several “stuck” positions which have been unbearable, but I am eating really because of the stress.

The past 2 weeks I have been out of control! Last night though, with the news that AIG and my job are still safe, I have made a conscious decision to restart again. I know the doctor is going to yell at me, because I don’t think I have lost any weight. I think I am either the same or gained weight.   I have joined the Thanksgiving challenge and I hope by then I have lost 20 lbs. (Which would be a great birthday gift to me!!). My clothes are still loose. I am wearing a size 14W to 16W, depending on the brand. The blouses and shirts are between 1X to 2X. . Shoes are a 9W from a 10W. So, I am pretty happy about that.   Now, to step up on the working out. I started today by getting off the train at City Hall and walk the rest. I had my pedometer so here are the numbers:
Steps from 42^nd Port Authority to my job 3,464 Aerobic step from 42^nd Port Authority to my job 2307 KCAL burnt is 347 Miles is 2.62   I weighed last night on the Wii Fit on a rug at 246.3lbs. My start weight was 285lbs. Difference is 38.7lbs less. I am planning to take the Wii Fit downstairs on the floor and get a proper reading.   Ok my workouts, ok, I have my treadmill. I also bought the Step that had the tape and I tried it and I forgot how much I loved doing that. My order for Zumba came in too and I like it, but I need to do it. I bought two more DVDs for the Step. Tonight, my plan and goal is to do the Step workout tonight. It lasts about 40 minutes. Tomorrow, I plan to do one of the Zumba tapes, probably the Aerobic Party. Friday, I plan to do the Wii Fit and do the treadmill.   Well, I will keep everyone to date. Much love to all!!

I went to the doctor’s on Friday, August 22 for my second fill. I think I am in heaven now. I AM NOT HUNGRY!!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS???!!! I kinda yelled at the doctor when I came in the room and asked if he took out saline or put in, because since the first fill, I have been literally HUNGRY. Well, he informed me that he gave me 3ccs then. So he gave me now 2ccs for a total of 5 ccs. My band holds 10ccs. I am in heaven. I am able to drink my water slow (no gulping). I have had 3 separate PB occasions because I didn’t chew well. So, now I am taking my time to eat. Actually, yesterday, I was on my chicken when I didn’t feel hungry anymore. So I stopped. I am so excited.   Total loss weight for the month was only 3 lbs, but it is 3 lbs less. I am currently in finals and I am going to take it tonight. So --- tomorrow, I will be back on the band wagon in exercising. I bought a step that includes a tape and I am going to mix up my workouts so I won’t get bored.   My goal is to be at least 20lbs less by November 27^th. It is reasonable I think.   Hope you are all doing well!!

Well, I haven’t been back to write for a while huh. I know, I am bad, but I have been dealing with this depression, in addition to a lot of school work.   First, I am on my fourth week of my Master’s course. Yes, I know, I must be crazy, BUT, I know that in order for me to be able to pick and choose jobs, especially better paying ones, I need to get my CPA. So, I began again my Masters in Accounting and Financial Management via Online courses through the Keller Graduate School of Management school via Devry University. I am doing ok. The class is kicking my butt now, but I am enjoying it.   I got my first fill on July 25. It was a little painful, but what I don’t get is why all of a sudden I am hungrier than ever. Once in a while this week, I found a very small restriction but BOY AM I HUNGRY. I am controlling myself a lot and I am drinking a lot of water. What to do – what to do!!! I want to start working out again. It gets a little hard, but I know my depression goes away when I do work out.   Why depressed? I hate my job. Without going into details, I hate my job. I am looking and looking and looking and nothing yet.   Did I say I hate my job!!!   Anyway, hope you are all doing well!!!   BTW – I am down to 245lbs. Officially lost 40lbs all together…

On June 9^th, around 4:30 pm, I was wheeled into the operating room and finally got the lap band inserted. The operation went fine and I received the 10cc band. I was a bit nauseous, but the nurses at CentraState Medical Center were outstanding.

I did not really have much pain from the incisions, but the shoulder and back pain were incredibly unbearable. Thank God for pain medication. I didn’t sleep much that night, but I left the next day around 1pm. The barium test went fine and I had no problem “eating” my “food” which was a cup of clear broth, jello, sorbet and cranberry juice.

 

I got home and was a bit tired but more excited to see my mom and my daughter. I rested that day, but the rest of the week I kept moving around. I took the week off sick. I really don’t know how people do it – going back to work after the operation. The back pain is unbearable and the anesthesia seems to linger. I finally was myself filled with energy on Sunday, Father’s Day. I cleaned my bedroom and another room and left it spotless. I started work on Monday, June 16^th.

 

Food wise – I am fine. The 4 week liquid diet helped me control myself with the food. Mom has been making me broth from scratch, which is so much better than those is the can. I have past the clear liquid stage and I have started the Liquid diet. This will be from Day 8 to Day 28. I can drink my protein drinks, yogurt, thin cream soups, decaf coffee, sugar free applesauce and sugar free pudding.

 

Weight total…..here it is, I actually started at 285lbs. My official pre-op weight prior to June 9^th and after 4 weeks or liquid proteins, I weighed at 264lbs. I had to go to my primary doctor yesterday and I weighed in at 257. On my WII Fit, it states I weigh 255. So, I have almost lost 30lbs. I have my post-op visit with Dr. Washington this Friday, June 20^th at 1pm. We will see how much I am weighing then.

 

Exercise wise, well, I am starting to walk on the treadmill every night. I am also doing the Wii Fit. My goal is to get up at 5am, walk on the treadmill for 20 minutes. Then when I get home, I would like to do my Wii Fit or more treadmill. I want to encorporate my many exercise videos too but slowly since I have a really bad knee.

Well, here I am, surviving this liquid diet. So far so good. The only thing that I miss is the chewing. I miss the chewing a particular food. Like, last night, my parents made barbecue and mashed potatoes and boy it smelled so good. But I didn't have any - just my shake.

Here are my measurements from this morning:

RT CALF: 19.5"
RIGHT THIGH: 30.5"
RT BICEP: 15.5"
NECK:  18"
CHEST: 51"
WAIST: 48"
HIPS: 54"

I have a lot of work to do hummm....

Hope you are all doing well!!!

Well, the pre-op meeting went well. Officially I am weighing 281.2lbs. 
I had my last hurrah this past weekend for Mother's Day and didn't quite have what I really wanted but as the french say "C'est la vie". 

Today, I am starting the liquid protein diet. Dr. Washington told me to have 5 drinks per day, which is better than the 3 stated in the paperwork. The morning was fine and I am drinking water.

I did have one small black coffee with 1 splenda vs my usual large coffee with half and half and 5 splendas. It went ok.

I am cold though, freezing. Doesn't help that the air conditioning in the building I work in is on super high...ha ha ha...

Anyway, I hope to weigh myself at home and hope to get my measurements tonight and post it tomorrow. I hope to lose at least 20 lbs before the operation on June 9th, though Dr. Washington didn't give me a determination on how much I should be losing between now and then. I just want no complications.

Oh by the way, he is so sweet. I asked if I could go home that same day, since my daughter would really freak out by not being home (she did one time on a business trip) and he changed it to 7:30am vs 2:30pm. I am a happy camper!!!



See you tomorrow!