It's been 6 months...and I burped!

Jun 27, 2009

What a crazy 6 months it has been...probably the best part is that I have lost over 100 lbs. and (I hope and pray) I'm still going.  I have not had any complications thus far...which I am very thankful.  One minor setback was when I got bursitis in my hip from too much exercising...live and learn.  Everything--not just food--in moderation.  I am grateful to have had this surgery because without it, I know I would not be capable of doing everything I am at this point.  I am certain that I have been able to add quality years to my life due to the procedure. 
Being brutally honest, I am having a difficult time wrapping my brain around the fact that after losing over 100lbs., I am still not just fat, but morbidly obese!  How and why in the world did I let myself and my body get into this place?  I feel like in a lot of ways I am just starting to live some of my life...hence the screen name.  I feel I have worked through so many of the issues that got me where I was just a few short months ago, however I don't think my head will ever understand the logistics.  There is so much I want to experience....not to be sitting on the bench in my own life.  I want and realize I deserve better.   
I am at the point now that people are starting (LOL) to notice I have lost weight.  Well, duh!  With some I have been more open than others for obvious reasons.  Good things that have come from WLS are that I am off blood pressure medication, I can (kind of) cross my legs, increased stamina...even though I feel I am tired much of the time, truly fitting into some of my own clothes--I wouldn't buy clothes big enough to fit me to avoid facing my true size/self, increased confidence level, and basically can better navigate my world.  Also, I definitely can't forget the support found from folks on this site and in the support groups.  I'm not sure where I would be today without everyone's support and commitment to helping me along on this journey.  I am truly amazed and blessed by each one of you. 
One thing about being on this journey I will say I have been making an earnest effort to pay attention to my body and its needs.  For most of my life this has been a foreign concept.  Something one the support group leaders said has resonated with me.  She said "when I've eaten just enough, I will let out a burp.  That's how I know I am done."  My first thoughts about this were "how could this really be?!"  And then...guess what?!?!  Paying attention to my body, I have found that I burp too!  
I do have to say though, last night was a new experience.  I went with my family to a buffet-style restaurant (aka troph) for the first time since WLS.  I took my time, ate fairly slow, however I gave my little "burp" too soon from when I thought I should have been finished with my meal.  I really wanted to go up to the bar and get some fruit...for cryin out loud!  At that point I started to get nervous, even panicky.  I immediately felt sadness and a sense of loss.  I was frustrated with myself, thinking it's only a piece of fruit...you will eat healthy.  However, I knew I needed to stop.  My internal clock told me so.  At that moment I really felt like an alcoholic in a roomful of beer.  Thankfully I was able to excuse myself and get out of there.  I was proud of myself in a way for recognizing the fact that I made the decision to not input more than my body could handle, however at the same time, it has really brought up the emotional stuff for me again.  I realize that my relationship with food is life long and it's about making choices.  I was thankful I was with my family at the time and they understood my needs.  I guess I can only be me... that's all any of us can do...Hugs to all! 
Peace,
Christina
1 comment

Welcome to Week 5 of My Journey!

Jan 21, 2009

Well, I'm 5 weeks out.  Next Monday will be my 6 week check up with Dr. Gupta.  I don't want to be disappointed in myself, so I still have not gotten on the scale yet.  The good news is that I can tell that my clothes are fitting more loosely.  Last weekend I went up to my parked car the other day and noticed the car next to me had taken up part of my parking space.  How dare they take MY space!  I need MY space!  My immediate reaction was to think:  "How I am going to get in there?"  But then I thought I would try it.  Now just barely, but I was able to get the door open and slip into the driver's side seat.  Had this been before surgery, I never could have squeezed myself through that space.  I have had to crawl in from the passenger side and somehow manuever myself into the next seat, which truthfully is a bit of a trick to do, especially with the console in the middle.  But not for me...not that day!  I guess here is one of my first "wow" moments.  I have really struggled getting in the protein, vitamins, water, and exercise.  It is par for the course, however I am doing much better, I think.  Saturday after the clothing exchange we stopped by this protein store in Castleton, (thanks, Frankie) and I tell ya, it was like an answer to a prayer.  I bought many samples and think I will be able to find something I can actually tolerate!  Yippee!  I don't have a winner yet, but will post when I can. 
Since I started working this week and getting my routine established, I am finding I am not having as much difficulty with getting all the necessities in, which is definitely a good thing.  I have a whopping 64 oz. water bottle and have been taking it wherever I go.  I'll tell ya, it's a good conversation starter!   I think only time will help will help with this one!  
I am still basking in the glow of being at last weekend's clothing exchange.  I loved meeting all the new people and of course seeing the ones I had already met previously.  It was all very overwhelming, but definitely a great time!  I know I didn't get to meet everyone there, but those who I did meet were absolutely fabulous.  Looking forward to getting together again!  
For those of you who have kept up with me, this space, my life etc., I want to say a huge thank you for your good wishes/prayers sent our way in regard to the adoption process we have been going through.  In a nutshell we started our paperwork 2 years ago and still are in the same spot we were back then.  We know that everything happens for a reason and right now, we believe we need to put the brakes on.  This has been an incredibly emotional filled time as we try to move on with the plans God ultimately has for our lives.  Thank you for your continued good thoughts and prayers.  More updates to come....
Big Hugs!
Christina
2 comments

I AM Eleven Days Out!!!

Dec 30, 2008

What can I say....this has definitely been quite the ride, that's for sure.  I have up and down days, just like the best of 'em!  I struggle with the usual:  getting in the water, vitamins, protein, calcium, oh...and still blowing on that spirometer too.  Yeck.  Yesterday was the first day my head told me I felt hunger.  I know it's playing tricks.  Those nasty Centrum chewables are enough to do anyone in!  Ugh!  I know I haven't been the perfect WLS patient, but I am trying.  This is just so much more emotional than I think I could have ever prepared myself.  The good thing is that I am off the pain medicine (Lortab), as I think it was contributing to my emotional state.  I do still have pain, but at least it is more manageable at this point.  I can deal. 
The pouch is holding up well.  Thankfully I have had no complications thus far, thank God! Attempting to stick to the yellow sheets as much as possible.  It's still really hard to be around "real" food right now.  Right now, I am doing a fairly good job of staying away from it.  Head hunger is such a pain!  Ugh!  
I am thankful to have found this site and all the great support system that is here.  Wouldn't want to do it without ya all!  More to come....
Christina 
10 comments

It's Monday Monday....and I'm BAAAAAACK!!!

Dec 21, 2008

Wow!  What a whirlwind of a weekend for me!  Surgery was Friday and I came out of it super well.  Yippeee!   My surgery was supposed to be moved back to 10, but then, I wasn't called back until about 10:45.  Everyone was running a little behind, as it was super busy!  I'll tell you though, everyone who I dealt with was treated my husband and I so wonderfully.  We laughed and joked alot--seemed to make the time go faster anyway.  One of nurses who came in to draw my blood in the beginning said, "now this might stick  a little, but don't worry, cause it won't hurt me a BIT!" 
I ended up staying until yesterday (Friday-Sunday), however Dr. Gupta said I was good to go on Saturday. I did get pretty tired after getting all that walking in and decided to just stay the extra night.  I'm glad I did though.  My only regret with this surgery is that I didn't do it sooner--like maybe 100 pounds ago.  Hello!  (Even though my weight went up in the hospital like I knew it would).  I do believe that there is a purpose for everything in our lives though.  For some reason, this seemed to be my time.  :)  I'm good with that!  
Since being home, I have had water, crystal lite, SF pudding, and strained cream of chicken soup.  All went down really well.  I have been rather burpy, however not so much from the other end.  Dr. Gupta told me not to start the proteins until I was able to pass gas down there.  Anyway, I can feel it coming on today.  LOL  I'm in no hurry though, I have the rest of my life to figure this out.  I think I read we don't go on proteins until day 5, so I've got plenty of time.  I'll be getting my binders out today for review.  I will go back to see Dr. Gupta on Wednesday, 12/24/08.  As for now though, I'm just taking things fairly easy.  I am taking the food/drinks as slowly as I can, as I have the serious food police living/breathing right under my nose.  Fun stuff, I tell ya!  
 I feel so blessed to have you all as my extended family.  Now, especially since I've gone through this surgery, I want to make a special effort in attending these fabulous get togethers people keep raving about.  :)  I think I can get my hubby more involved in that type of thing now too!   I'm really wanting to come to the clothing exchange, if not for the clothes, but for the fellowship!   Hope to see you all there! 
love to all~Christina
2 comments

Friday, Friday...It's ON!!!

Dec 16, 2008

The nutrition class went well on the 4th.  Lots of information, mostly review since I've done a fair amount of research.... thankfully.  One step closer.  The preop testing...what a treat!  Healthy dose of barium cocktails...cheers!  After a scare of my thyroid levels being so low to jeopardize my surgery status, my levels were retested and Dr. Gupta saw no need to concern.  So, now that means I am good to go.  WooHoo!  I am nervous, excited, fearful, overwhelmed...the emotions keep coming, but I realize this is what I need to do.  I AM ready to do this and it is the best decision for ME!  Thanks for listening!   
2 comments

Nutritional Class Scheduled

Nov 18, 2008

December 4, 2008 from 8:30AM-4:30PM!  It will be an all day event.  The dietician said I can bring my lunch or $ for the cafeteria.  I suppose I will find out everything I need to on that date!   Looking forward to it...God is good!  Christina 

Everything is Beautiful!

Nov 16, 2008

     It's so easy for me to get caught up in everyday life thinking why aren't things happening?!  It's NOT on my time frame!  Hurry up God!  Hurry up! 
     So, Heather from the scheduling department calls on Friday.  Says that she has all of my paperwork, insurance has approved me....yadda yadda yadda.  Says that I should be good to go for surgery sometime next year, so let's go ahead and get it planned.  Since I am graduating next month and will start a new job in January, I asked her if there was any possible way that I could have the surgery in December, even if I had to switch surgeons.  Heather put me on hold for what seemed like forever (probably only 1-2 minutes), came back to the phone and said "we're going to go ahead and schedule you on December 19th at noon with Dr. Gupta!  Are you kidding me?!  I didn't even have to switch surgeons!  Thank God for this too! 
     Heather said that they will be mailing out a packet of information for me to read and do asap.  Hooray!  I am so blessed...I can't believe it!  
When our adoption process slowed, frustration doesn't begin to describe the pain and anguish my husband and I have felt.  Now I am beginning to realize just exactly how true "everything happens for a reason and according to God's plan" is; sometimes we're just not clued in as soon as we'd like to be!  I am ever confident things will work out--how they are supposed to!  Right now this is a time for me to really hunker down (Bill would be so proud!)  and get serious about my health issues.  I don't want my husband to be a single parent, and at the rate that I've been going, I realize is where things could end up.  It's so true that God amazingly works things out all according to His plan.  "He has made everything beautiful in Its time."  (Ecc. 3:11).   I am becoming healthy for me, my family, and our future together.  I want to teach our children so much...to run, laugh, play, and to show love.   I am grateful to have this wonderful opportunity to do just that!    
  Now I see that the waiting is a  good thing...all things work together for the good for those who love the Lord!  Woot!  
Peace ya all! 

Yep, I'm a Happenin Now!

Nov 10, 2008

     Wow!  It's been quite awhile since I last posted.  Let's see here....I completed the three month counseling requirement with a therapist to discuss emotional issues related to WLS.    My counselor (HUGS) wrote a letter to my surgeon's office STRONGLY recommending I proceed with this surgery.  Woohoo!!  So empowering!!  In the beginning I was frustrated to have to see someone...I just wanted to hurry up and get it done....move on with my life....but now I am thankful to have had the opportunity to talk some issues through.  
     Through this journey of self discovery, I am learning everything happens all in good time. More importantly for me, in God's time.  Lately I have been asking a lot of the "why" questions for other things going on in my life.  Why is our adoption process taking so long?!  I know the good Lord will not take me down a path where He will not watch over me.  Knowing/doing are two very different things.  
     I did have some difficulty getting my pcp's office to complete my letter and get it to Dr. Gupta's office in a timely manner.      Amy, the benefit coordinator stepped in and really got things moving along.  If it wasn't for her, I think I'd probably still be waiting on that doc's office!  Kudos to Amy!   
Wednesday, Nov. 5th, I received a letter from Amy telling me that she had faxed all my info to the insurance company and to give them 2-3 weeks and if I hadn't heard from them to call and see if they received my paperwork.  Well...I waited two WHOLE days!  I decided I could not wait the ENTIRE weekend...no way!!!    Well long story short (yes, I can do that, lol!)....after several minutes of being on hold, the insurance rep. stated that my paperwork had been certified???  When I inquired what that meant, the most sweetest voiced stated:  "All of your paperwork has been approved by our insurance company for you to have surgery."  How wonderful!  Thank you BCBS!  Thank you GOD!!!  This is just such amazing news!  I am so grateful!  The insurance rep stated that I have a "dummy date" for surgery scheduled on Jan. 29, 2009,  
     Fast forward to today, Monday Nov. 10th.  My letter from the insurance company arrived in the mail.  It reads:  "We are pleased to authorize the inpatient admission referenced above."  They are PLEASED to offer... Isn't that fabulous!  God is so good!   I'm so excited! 
I spoke to Heather in the scheduling department today and she confirmed the 2009 date being a dummy date.  She stated they are still scheduling people for surgery in December, but she didn't know exactly where they are.  This would be the best Christmas/graduation gift I could ever give myself!  WooHoo!!    
Have faith my friends!  Stay with the fight!  We are so worth it! 
Love to all! 

50 things INSTEAD of SNACKING According to Eggface & now me!

Sep 25, 2008

 1. Imagine the new healthier you.  
  2. Walk around the block 
  3. Call a friend   
  4. List your Top Ten Reasons to Lose Weight 
  
5. Make a To Do list   
  6.Turn on music and dance  
  7. Jot a thank you note to someone  
  8. Go to bed early or take a nap  
  9. Read a book 
10. Blog or journal
11. Give yourself a manicure or pedicure  
12. Plan a healthy meal for your family  
13. Surf the Internet   
14. Finish an unfinished project 
15. Walk your dog, pet your cat, feed your fish 
16. Brush your teeth
17. Balance your checkbook  
18. Say a prayer  
19. Chop veggies to keep on hand  
20. Give or get a massage 
21. Clean out a junk drawer
22. Play a game with your kids   
23. Try a new route on your walk
24. Drink a glass of water  
25. Kiss someone  
26. Try on some of your clothes  
27. Look at old pictures  
28. Rent a video  
29. Wash your car
30. Take a hot, soothing bath  
31. Update your calendar  
32. Work in your yard  
33. Start your holiday shopping list   
34. Count your blessings
35. Write a letter  
36. Fold some laundry   
37. Check your e-mail 
38. Give your dog a bath 
39. Send a birthday card 
40. Meditate 
41. Hug someone 
42. Rearrange some furniture
43. Light a fire or some candles
44. Put your pictures in an album  
45. Plan a trip (real or imaginary)
46. Straighten a closet  
47. Clean out files  
48. Visit a friend  
49. Clean out your trunk  
50. Do something nice for someone

You Know You've Had WLS When...

Sep 18, 2008

* I have a date" does not mean you're going out.
* You have baby food in the house and no baby.
* "I'm a loser" is a good thing.
* "Welcome to the other side" doesn't include death.
* New clothes fall off in a week.
* You get excited about hand me downs.
* The scale at Wal-Mart no longer says "one at a time 
   please".
* Going bald and getting wrinkles is a good thing.
* "Just water for me please".
* When your rear end no longer looks like a mudslide.
* When you get excited that your incision was "only 4
   inches".
* When the word lap has nothing to do with a strip club.
* Other women are calling you names behind your back.
* When you are glared at in the plus size department  
   because you don't "belong there".
* When you really don't have a thing to wear.
* You have to prove you are the person on the driver's
   license.
* You start being in the pictures, not behind the camera.
* You want to hug everyone fat and hand them your 
    surgeon's card.
* You are never parted from a bottle of water.
* When you order a doggy bag at the same time as your
   meal.
* Being too small for your britches.
* When the only way your nipples are where they belong  
   is to roll them up, position them with your bra   

   and secure with a ponytail holder.
* When you go to the mall and take the first available
  space instead of circling 20 minutes for one closer   

  to the door.
* You truly are a "cheap date".
* When one drink makes you flipping floozy!
* When you run to the door and don't hear a flapping 
   sound.
* You flip your shirt to show complete strangers your scar.
* Vitamins feel like a meal.
* You go from a 56DDDD to 32AAA in a year and didn't 
   have a breast reduction.
* You've just lost 100 lbs and run into a high school friend
   who asks "did you change your hair?"
* You can cross your legs... both of them!
* Instead of a Wonder Bra you need a Wonder Where
   They Went Bra.
* When your obsession from food turns to your scale.
* They no longer call 911 for the Jaws of life to extricate 
   you from a turnstile.
* No more Velcro shoes.
* When your Stairmaster is no longer used for drying your
   fine washables.
* Your mother says "You don't eat enough."
* When your doctor looks you in the eye and says "I know
   you will have success with this."
* Having sex your husband complains that your hip bones 
   are poking him.
* You can wear corduroy pants without igniting a fire.
* When you wave and your upper arms wave back.
* You safety pin your underwear.
* Someone phones and thinks your husband is sneaking 
   around with some skinny mistress.
* Cannot blame the cat/dog for shedding.
* Cancel your Lane Bryant Credit Card.
* 3 Lean Cuisines a week and that's your total grocery 
   purchase.
* The kids wonder what happened to the cake and  
   cookie god...did he die???
* Having to constantly BLAME the dog for your gas!

I just had to put this on my profile!!!  Christina


About Me
37.4
BMI
RNY
Surgery
12/19/2008
Surgery Date
Jul 10, 2008
Member Since

Friends 39

Latest Blog 13
Nutritional Class Scheduled
Everything is Beautiful!
Yep, I'm a Happenin Now!
50 things INSTEAD of SNACKING According to Eggface & now me!
You Know You've Had WLS When...

×