Will Power...

Nov 05, 2011

So I am 4 days PRE surgery..liquid diet...and I had craving for Taco Bell.

Having the will power is difficult enough alone...but after working 9-4 today, I coincidentally was asked to bring home taco bell by a family member. It is one thing to just drive by taco bell on the way home from work, it's another to go through the drive through and order for somebody else. This person knew it was hard for me but they had no car. It shouldn't be that difficult for me to do someone a favor. 

I drove through and ordered for that person....I was hungry because I was almost due for another shake...and I swear I could smell and identify every ingredient coming through that drive through window. My sense of smell has become RIDICULOUS.

I was able to not get anything and drive the food home. Now some people reading this may not think this is a big deal. However they are mistaken. I have not had real food in half a month...this is the one place I would go to as a treat to myself once every few weeks...and now I couldn't. Hunger was set in...the bag of food just staring at me from that passenger seat...I had to open all of my windows in my car and breathe out of my mouth to drive it home! Is that crazy?????

I brought the food inside upset, frustrated and still hungry. I immediatley signed onto OH.com and started reading forums and blogs and seeing that there are other people out there going through the same thing and all pulling through, it made me feel relieved.

If I had eaten that taco bell, I would have felt so guilty afterwards, instead, I feel so impowered because I was able to stand up to MYSELF. This is just one small step before surgery...but one huge step for myself and for my future.

I can do this. 

0 Comments