54 Weeks Post Op

May 04, 2009

My weight keeps jumping between 197 and 200 the last couple weeks.  Finally I had an "official" Monday weigh in where I broke the 200 lb mark.  198 today.  I only document my weight once a week on Monday morning, good or bad.  You can see my weight tracking chart has true ups and downs.

A lot of people acknowledge that I've lost a lot of weight and a few jokes being called "slim" or "skinny".  But really I don't think I look slender when seeing myself in the mirror.  I just see the belly fat and loose skin.  I think part of the problem is that all my life I always saw a fat person in the mirror and I just accepted that the person in the mirror is fat.  Therefore I'm still fat. 

Maybe I don't know what a skinny person looks like from front and side view side by side.  Maybe I just haven't reached "my" weight yet.  Funny thing though, I now look at people that I thought were "normal" weight before and I think "he's got a big gut" or "looks like he's packed on a few pounds", etc.  I just wonder if one day I'll wake up and know that I've reached my ideal weight when I look in the mirror or will I always feel like I could lose a little more.

Anyway enough of that.  I've been working out nearly daily the last couple weeks.  I actually start a beginner's adult Karate class tonight.  Something I always thought about, but never did before because I felt too big.  We'll see how that goes.  Could be a lean, mean, fighting machine someday.  Contrary to all the fat guy in the mirror stuff, I do know that I am now in the best shape of my life.  I've never had focus on diet and exercise the way I do now.  I'm much stronger and much more flexible.  Go me!

Good luck to everyone,

Andy

 

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