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This New Year has gotten of to a great start thus far. This is my first New Year being single in four almost five years, and I rocked it out. I went to church but it was standing room only so I went home, and put in I Am Legend. At midnight I stopped the movie poured myself a glass of Welch’s sparkling grape juice, and said a prayer and made a toast to myself, and this new beginning that God has allowed me. I have not regretted this surgery one bit. I have never asked the “What Have I Done To Myself” question. I love the way I feel, and look. I get up, and go to work in the morning. I leave work heading to the gym, and I workout my two hours, and it’s a wrap. However, I go home and manage to do dumb things like eat a piece of candy or something sweet that I don’t need. Ya’ll pray for me these sweets be calling me, calling me, and calling me! I know that they’re suppression for other things but I digress. I will win this battle, and do what I need to be successful in this journey. I did not make any new year’s resolutions because I never keep them so what I do is keep my mind focused on what I need to do while trying to loose this last 100+ lbs. I don’t weigh myself daily, weekly, but once a month.

I didn’t loose 1lb. from November to December. I’m perfectly ok with that because I lost my damn mind for Christmas. You wouldn’t believe me if I told you. I can’t eat a lot but I grazed my azz off. I should have damn skid marks from sliding my behind up in that kitchen. My problem is that I bake homemade ya’ll like Big Momma and Nem. I threw down pies, cakes, tea cakes, cup cakes it was ridiculous. I took stuff to work daily they loved it, and so did I it’s sad people I was getting high just making this stuff. Food is funny like that. I never new how much I like to bake until I would make stuff then am like “You know damn well you can’t have this stuff up in here!” I’m waiting on my protein from Unjury to arrive so that I can start getting it in. I’m doing the unflavored unjury protein in the Yoplait Light Smoothie it taste great but I miss the chocolate flavor.

Any who… I will be heading to Virginia on May 2^nd to visit, and chill with my girl Angela AKA Aleximaq. I plan on having a wonderful time. This will be my second time flying, and I’m a lil nervous about that I’m sure I can find something to calm my nerve. Lol!

Until next time no matter where you are in this journey stay focused, and prayed up. If you keep your eye on Christ he won’t fail you. God has been my rock especially these last few months have really been trying times. I suffered a nasty break up, and I didn’t let it break me but made me stronger. I look at how great my life is, and now that I am truly blessed beyond measure. God is good! Can I get a witness!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have been working 15-16 hour’s a day’s since Wednesday, and I’m about to drop. I get up at one in the morning to get to work for two, and I leave there at four-thirty or five then head to the gym. I didn’t even make it to the gym on Thursday! That was a no-no. After I got off at five on Friday I went home, and changed and went straight to the gym. I worked out for 40 minutes, and it was great. I did a mini work out, and hit all the vital muscles. I’m soar this morning as I sit her at work updating this. I didn’t know you could do this kind of damage in 40 min. I will get to do my full workout today I’m getting off at three, and heading straight to the gym. I’ll get out at five go home, and shower and hit the streets.

Tonight is my company Christmas Party. I decided last night to skip it today. Even though I helped organized it, and help RSVP everyone at the last minute I heard that other people were going to be there, and I decided to just pass it up all together. My sister said she wanted to take me out to dinner, and I rather spend time with her any day vs. a bunch of messy azz women. Now some would say go, and show off the new you but it would be the complete opposite. They would have nothing but negative things to say like “You think your going to get that sick look?” Like I freggin know the real answer to this. Then most will be sitting at the table watching what I eat, and how much I eat. I get enough people asking me at lunch time how much have you ate out of your plate, and some even walk over, and look into my food dish to see how much I ate, and they tease me saying a new born can eat more than me. Now TRUST me this is the least of my problem’s I just decided not to go. I been here nine years, and I know how these people at work.

One a better note I did have the privilege of meeting Star Jones- Reynolds this past Saturday at the NeWeigh Annual Christmas Luncheon. This was my first year going, and it was wonderful. I enjoyed meeting people, and just getting a chance to dress up, and step out not worrying about how you look or what other people had to say. Because in that room we all had a very common bond, and that day we were all brother’s and sister’s. We fought this thing called Obesity, and taking personal responsibility to get our lives in check. It felt great to be in a room full of people who knew your struggle. Whether they had 50 lbs. to loose or 500 lbs. we all knew where the next person stood to get where we all are today, and that is healthier. I’m sure there are a few that did it purely because the insurance would pay, and they wanted to get over what they look like on the outside. But after shedding those pounds the inside is still going to need a lot of serious work. Because the one thing I see at my office “EVERYDAY” is WLS failure. It breaks my heart, and that is why I take personal responsibility for my own actions. No one but me put the food into my mouth. No one but me say’s get off your but, and go to the gym, and do what it takes so that two years I won’t be looking for a revision. Now don’t get me wrong. I don’t knock the revision. I just don’t want to have one, and I hear Aetna is about to start showing out on approving on WLS. So I don’t want to get into the mind set that if I fail at the bypass I’ll just have the DS. I wanted the DS first, and Houston didn’t have an excellent

doctor. like Dr. J to perform the surgery so I went with the bypass. I’m happy, and have had no major complication’s praise God. God has been so good to me. Everyday I wake up, and realize just this how blessed I was when I opened my eye, and was able to get out of the bed on my own free will. Keeping the faith, and staying positive. I can do ALL Things Through Christ Who Strengthen Me.

Things have been going just great. I have been hitting the gym everyday I rotate the upper, and lower body daily. I work my abs everyday, and do 60 min cardio everyday. I have gotten in 32g of protein daily. Now I am well aware that this is not a sufficient amount of protein but it is a beginning vs. none at all for the whole day. I purchased the Muscle Milk at GNC and it taste great. I got the Cookies & Cream, Root Beer Float, and Chocolate Milk. They have not let me down at all. The only problem I have with them is the calories intake is too high, and they are 17g carbs. Now if you are not caring about the carbs and calories this is prefect for you. Now this is for the 17oz. premixed drink. I know they have the smaller size drinks like 8oz. I just make two servings out of one pkg. So I don’t take in 350 calories at one time. I drink about 7oz at a time, and that fills me up just fine.

Now as for my next big personal challenge. I’m trying to beat the sweet demon. People I have been craving anything sweet for about two months or better, and most days the desire takes over, and I give in like a poor little victim. I’m going through the crunchy & sweet phase which I know you all know what that is a bag of chips, and a cup cake or candy bar. I have managed to avoid both on my good days but I have eaten both on the same day. I know my pouch is beautiful because it only allows me to eat a few bits then I’m stuffed like a little pig. I just really want to get it under control before I can tolerate more and I be sitting here back at 400 lbs. I’m not even having that this is why I now work out six days a week, and plan my meals. A few months ago I was worried I would never get to this point, and now that I have arrived I loving it so-so very much. I can’t wait to get into the gym daily and look forward to the burn, sweat, and pain that I leave there feeling.

Now don’t get me wrong the devil is always on my back. Every time I get in on a good foot something always seems to happen. When I got going a few months ago I broke my foot twice in one month. I was laid up from July to October. Now that I have that behind me every time I get on a grove I get sick some other way. I haven’t let that stop me I go sick, and tired but the reward is far greater in the end.

Life has been so hectic I have become one of those people who are poor at updating their blog. I have been working out here lately, and I love it I’m going everyday so this month I should see a dramatic weight loss vs. the last few months. I’m still doing poor at my protein but it’s getting better. I only drink the Unjury chocolate, and I love it. I just get tired of the same thing. I’m not one to experiment so I don’t go out, and try different protein that people tell me about. I promised myself that I would break down, and try one I seen called Muscle milk sold at Kroger’s. They have different flavors, and it really caught my eye. My lab, have been off, and I’m now on the B-12 injections, and I also take a prescription strength Vitamin D. I just completed my eight month labs on last Tuesday I pray those are a little better.  

Now my eating habits are still my biggest struggle! I still crave sweets like crazy. I indulge myself more than I should. I’m honestly working on ways to improve this. I’m just thankful that I’m aware that I need to get it under control. I think as my body starts to get more use to the workout’s I won’t want to ruin it with the empty calories, fat, and sugars!  

I have the most amazing wow moments all the time. People at work give me the most assuring comment that the weight loss is dramatically noticeable. I also met a very handsome younger man. He gives the most wonderful compliment’s to me it makes me blush all the time. He thinks the size that I am now is the perfect size for me, and he doesn’t understand why I would want to loose 100 lbs. more but like I told him I want to look good, and feel good. I feel great now but I can only imagine what 100 lbs. more gone how I will look and feel.  

I will try to update more! This is my last week of class so I should have some spare time on my hands.

Thinks have been crazy to say the least this past month. Since breaking my foot twice in one month, I have not slowed down one bit. I can’t go to the gym right now, but I get in some walking at work. I will just be so happy when they take this boot off my foot.

Not too much has changed my eating has gotten a lot better. I have started getting in my protein, water, and vitamins. I have lost 16 lbs for the month! Yes, I was so excited considering I have not worked out once. I was going to sneak to the gym Friday, and my foot started hurting so I had to cancel those plans.  

However, a new month is approaching and I look forward to the new, and wonderful blessing my God has in store for me. I have been so blessed to have this surgery! Some day’s I truly forget that I have had it because life gets in the way. I’m just so thankful to God I have not had any major complications other than my stoma being too small. That has been fixed, and now life is fine. I will update more when I have a chance. Until next time please be blessed.

EDIT: My mini goal is to lose these 17 lbs. so that I can get to twoterville.

It has been an uphill battle for me. I fell and broke my foot on the 4^th of July {slipped in the rain going to an Astros game}! Then the walking boot my dr. has me in the strap broke on August 8^th, and I fell down the stairs at home, and broke my toe on the same foot. I am so disgusted, and don’t know what to do. I have been a slow loser, and need to exercise to help my tool along. I’m looking at possible foot surgery, and I have no idea how long recovery will be. I have not been getting in my protein, however I have kicked up my water, and vitamin intake. My hair has starting falling out like crazy. I had to get it all cut off Last week due to this, and every time I wash it even more falls out! When will the maddness stop? I ordered some Unjury unflavored protein it should be here tomorrow! Now I'm waiting on the results from my CT Scan that I had on Saturday to see what way the surgeon wants to go! In the midst of all this I keep my faith, and know that the Lord is able.

Today I had the pleasure of doing something I hadn’t done in years. Bubble bath… that’s right I took my first bubble bath in years. I just moved into a new Condo, and noticed the oversized tub. I said to myself when my foot gets better I’m going to take a bubble bath. Well here I am two weeks later {foot still not well} filling up the tub with Victoria ’s Secret bubble bath, and lighting my candles around the tub. I dimmed the lights, and oh my goodness it was better than any spa I have ever been to in my life. I was able to have me time, and just relax, and release. 

Surprisingly, my boyfriend walked in looking for me he said it was quiet, and didn’t know where I had gone in the house. He said dang you got all this going on before you go to work? I was like yes I do. He stood there with this silly grin on his face, and I asked what are you looking at? He said “You look so tiny sitting there! You body is shrinking!” I could have melted all the bubble I was blushing so dam hard! He then said “Let me wash you back!”… Well needless to say I will be taking bubble baths at lease three times a week!!! You never realize what little pleasures from losing weigh will allot you. First, you think about the obvious, health, self-esteem, cloths, and what others things come to mind. But, this mornings’ simple pleasure was just not one that had ever crossed my mind. But I’m so glad that my knees no longer prohibit me from doing anything.

With a hundred plus pounds to loose I still say the benefits of this surgery have already been priceless!!!!!!!

Well since my last post I have been doing everything that I needed to do to better my health. I have been taking Viactive Multi-Vitamin two times a day, and my B-12 sublingual drops. I have been getting in at least 67 oz of water. I have gotten a lot of fruit, and that is my snack when I get hungry. I plan my day now to not be in a position to eat anything to slow down my weight loss any further.

My monthly weight in did not go as planned. I only lost seven pounds for the month, and was very disappointed in myself {no pity party}. I just know that this month I have a lot of work to do to get back on track, and I feel like I have already gotten half way there. I just need to find away to get in the gym, and work my upper body since me putting weight on my foot is not an option. I have decided to start weighting in weekly to keep a better track of my weight. I’m sure I hit a plateau this month but, because I’m not one to weight everyday I never knew when it happed. I look forward to the challenge of increasing my weight loss this next month. I know that nothing good comes without a whole lot of hard work! Until next time…

I have been running around like a chicken with my head cut off. So many things have happen I don’t know where to start. Some good, and some bad but, I’m hanging in there.   

I know we’re ALL battling along this journey to a healthier way of life. I’m losing slowly, and I’m coping with it just fine. I stay off the scale I weight in once a month, and go from there. I have good and bad eating habits. I find that I am STILL emotional eating, and having a hard time breaking out of it. I also find that I crave sweets 90% of the day. I didn’t crave that much before surgery.  

However, with all the good, and bad that has happen over the last month to me. I have broken my foot, and I’m not able to work out at all. I do however notice that my inches are coming down nicely. My clothes are just falling off me, and people are calling me “skinny’ I have a ton to loose but I like to compliments. My hair is shedding like crazy, and I’m not taking any vitamins, or B-12. I have fell off the wagon on all of that stuff. I will make a conscious effort to start back this week with all my meds. I need to get some energy. I moved this week from a one bedroom apartment to a two bedroom condo, and it nearly killed me. I am so tired when my head hits the pillow I just pass out like a person with the most serve sleep apnea. People are telling me I look sick, and have no pigmentation in my skin tone. My mom swears I’m going to fall out due to stress, and not eating right. 

I did not go for my three month follow up. The week coming up will be my four month anniversary. I will shoot to visit with Dr. J at that time. I know if I did labs right now he would put me in the hospital. I hope I haven’t done too much damage since I have been too busy to take care of myself. I will admit I have allowed life to get in the way. Who ever said this surgery was a quick fix, please point them in my direction. I have always known from when my mom had this surgery five years ago this was real work, and that is why I wanted nothing to do with it. But, here I am five years later walking her same shoes. Trust me I gave my mom grief for having this surgery, and about breaking the rules “all” the time. Now I know she was only human, and this surgery didn’t make her super human, and she was still going to have those food craving. Because now I have them, and when I say I want this or that she just looks at me, and smiles! I was her food police, and she would tell me to go sit my azz down somewhere, and leave her alone. Now I do the same to my boyfriend when he comes with his famous story about why did I have surgery if I’m still going to eat the same things? I don’t eat the same I don’t eat out everyday, and eat the worst case possible selections. I just have my times. My Aunt passed away on the 7^th of July, and that has rocked my world. Rose was only 37 years old, and I have been eating under stress from that. I know it’s no excuse but it’s true. When I start thinking about her I find myself waling to the kitchen to see what I can snack on. While out of town for the funeral I bought junk I won’t even name let’s just say it has chocolate, and pecans. Last night I was so tempted to eat some in bed, but with the grace of God I made myself stay in the bed until I feel off to sleep. Enough about me for now I will update on the 26^th after my weight in!

I have lost 46 lbs since surgery!!!