LovelyMiracle

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The word of the month has been...maintaining.  Have you ever felt so alone and nobody in the world cares at all?  Now I'm sure they do but when you really need the people that you care about the most they're never there.  

*sighz*

Lord please give me the strength to cope and get through this period that I'm in now.  Father God I know you have better things in store and these trials right now are just preparing me for the blessings you are going to bestow upon me.  Order my steps in your word Lord and Guide my feet towards your likeness.   Lord make me strong, take away the fear in my heart and mind, give me wisdom, give me courage.  Let the love in my heart touch others and let me be a blessing in someones life...never a hinderance.  Work on my spirit Lord, I need you...In Jesus' name I pray...

Amen

The word of the day is...MOTIVATED!

Classes start today and I can't wait to start.  This is one closer to where I want to be.  If you ask me where that is I couldn't begin to tell you.  But I'm getting closer....

Six friggin months!!!

I'm little better about it now.  I went to church yesterday and church tends to put a lot of things in perspective for me.  It's like you're renewed every Sunday and my enthusiasm abounds.  Six months gives me time to try with the utmost of tenacity to lose all the weight I can before my surgery.  I've lived with this weight for this long what's six months going to hurt...but ahhhhh look what it can help.  

I've made sure to eat a healthy breakfast today and I had some baked ziti for lunch, I know I know...carbs carbs carbs, but I'm a work in progress and I'm progressing.  I had a reasonable portion and that's a start.  

Dinner....*sighz* I messed up okay.  But I'll do better tomorrow, I'll make sure of it.  

Dr. A's cool, very informative.  After getting off the metro, getting lost, and hopping into a cab, getting lost again, and then finally finding his office we settled into a seat waiting for the seminar to start.  It was miserably hot outside so I was sweating like a pig.  That's nothing new though, I can sneeze and be sweating in the summertime so I'm used to it.   

After the seminar, which was basically an overview of the surgical process and also a testimonial/Q&A with a person who has gone thru the surgery was over, Dr. A. took us into his office for an individual consult.  He basically asks us whether we think this is something that we'd like to do and if we have any questions about the procedure.  I say absotutalutely!!!...and he asks me more questions about my health.  When I leave his office I have a referral to have a heart and sleep apnea clearance.  I don't have sleep apnea...I don't think.  

I meet with the lady who does insurance, forgot her name though.  I was verrrrrrrry confident before I got to her but she kicks me in the neck with news that my insurance requires the 6 month supervised diet plan.  Are you kidding me, 6 months!!!  My mind automatically goes into over-drive thinking of ways around this so I ask..."How can we get around this?"......there's no way to get around it.  Needless to say I'm throughly P.O'd because I want it done now!!  I have to have it done now!!!  
*sighz*