LuvinlittleD
Another loss...not one I wanted
Jul 15, 2008
"Aunt" Ethel died on Sunday. Do these things really happen in 3's? If that is the case there is one more left. That is scary. I choose not to believe it.
"Aunt" Ethel was one of my mom's childhood friends. I think they knew each other from the time they were 10 or so. Not even knew, they wre friends, real friends, since then. Frame of reference, my mother is 72. That means, "Aunt" Ethel has been in my life since before I was even thought of. She made an impression on me in so many ways.
I will never know that. Well, that is not necessarily true. I may have one friend, Josie, who I will still be friends with in another 34 years or so. If I am that fortunate. A sobering thought.
My mom has 5 more friends she has known that long or close to that timeframe. That is the glaring difference between then and now. I have one? Lifelong friendships with multiple people are so rare and such a blessing.
The funeral is on Friday. I am not looking forward to it. It is one day before the 2nd anniversary of my dad's death. Too close. Too soon. July is the marking of beginnings with my birthday and endings with losing people that I love.
Still reflecting. Still hurting. Still learning that life is to be cherished every, single day.
"Aunt" Ethel was one of my mom's childhood friends. I think they knew each other from the time they were 10 or so. Not even knew, they wre friends, real friends, since then. Frame of reference, my mother is 72. That means, "Aunt" Ethel has been in my life since before I was even thought of. She made an impression on me in so many ways.
I will never know that. Well, that is not necessarily true. I may have one friend, Josie, who I will still be friends with in another 34 years or so. If I am that fortunate. A sobering thought.
My mom has 5 more friends she has known that long or close to that timeframe. That is the glaring difference between then and now. I have one? Lifelong friendships with multiple people are so rare and such a blessing.
The funeral is on Friday. I am not looking forward to it. It is one day before the 2nd anniversary of my dad's death. Too close. Too soon. July is the marking of beginnings with my birthday and endings with losing people that I love.
Still reflecting. Still hurting. Still learning that life is to be cherished every, single day.
Reflections at 40
Jul 08, 2008
Today I heard devasting news. A very close family friend's only daughter was killed in a tragic car accident. My heart goes out to him. From what I understand he has holed himself in his home. She was his life. He is understandably in unbelievable, unimaginable pain. I reflected on the fact that death is a painful reminder of what a fleeting gift life is.
People questioned, what do you say in a situation like this? My thought, you tell him you love him and are thinking of him. What more do you need to say? It is not about what we feel we need to say. It is about what he needs right now. He needs love and support. He needs time to grieve. He needs to mourn the loss of his world for it will never be the same.
My dad died two years ago on July 19th. People said, "Let me know what I can do for you." How could I let them know I wanted them to bring him back? How could I tell them what I needed was the pain to stop? How could I get them to bring back the only man my mom has ever or will ever love? The man who was her soulmate for almost 60 years? How could they do any of those things for me? No one could give me what I needed or wanted. Why say those words then?
Death is a painful reminder of life being a gift and ever so fragile.
On Friday, July 4th, I turned 40. I appreciated for the first time ever that I am happy with my age. I have been asked if I feel different. The answer is, YES. I feel as if I love myself, honestly, truly. Being 44 lbs (I gained 2 lbs this past weekend enjoying my bday and even that is fine!) lighter is just a perk. Life is a gift I am embracing and holding onto for all that it is worth.
Today as I hear about the end of this young girl's life, I grieve for her and her family. I grieve for what she will never know about life, the lessons still left to learn, especially when you learn that perfectionism is a myth. That you are already perfect just the way you are. The one that all the time you spend criticizing yourself is just time wasted. Today I vow to continue to love and honor myself for every young woman who will not get the chance or who refuses to appreciate the woman she already is and has yet to discover.
People questioned, what do you say in a situation like this? My thought, you tell him you love him and are thinking of him. What more do you need to say? It is not about what we feel we need to say. It is about what he needs right now. He needs love and support. He needs time to grieve. He needs to mourn the loss of his world for it will never be the same.
My dad died two years ago on July 19th. People said, "Let me know what I can do for you." How could I let them know I wanted them to bring him back? How could I tell them what I needed was the pain to stop? How could I get them to bring back the only man my mom has ever or will ever love? The man who was her soulmate for almost 60 years? How could they do any of those things for me? No one could give me what I needed or wanted. Why say those words then?
Death is a painful reminder of life being a gift and ever so fragile.
On Friday, July 4th, I turned 40. I appreciated for the first time ever that I am happy with my age. I have been asked if I feel different. The answer is, YES. I feel as if I love myself, honestly, truly. Being 44 lbs (I gained 2 lbs this past weekend enjoying my bday and even that is fine!) lighter is just a perk. Life is a gift I am embracing and holding onto for all that it is worth.
Today as I hear about the end of this young girl's life, I grieve for her and her family. I grieve for what she will never know about life, the lessons still left to learn, especially when you learn that perfectionism is a myth. That you are already perfect just the way you are. The one that all the time you spend criticizing yourself is just time wasted. Today I vow to continue to love and honor myself for every young woman who will not get the chance or who refuses to appreciate the woman she already is and has yet to discover.
Two Months and Counting...
Jun 10, 2008
It has been 3 mths since the pre-op diet as of today. I am 41 lbs smaller than I was on March 10th. It is amazing. I feel so much better physically and emotionally. I love the band and all it has done for my life. Well, it has done some enhancing, but let's face it, I am doing the work. I am really proud of myself! I am going to be successful. I know this. Life is wonderful!
Not so bad for 2 weeks
Apr 08, 2008
You know, at first I was like, I am not losing anything with this band and then I weighed myself and I have lost 10 lbs in 2 weeks. I don't care if it is because I am on liquids or not. I will take it! I am on mushies now and loving that I am. Thank goodness. I am a chewer and I cannot take too many liquids. I was about to lose my mind. Funniest part was, I went on mushies and wasn't even that hungry. That would be nice to have forever! Going well!
Recipes to remember
Apr 05, 2008
Turkey Chili
2 lbs. ground turkey breast (or 95% lean ground sirloin), browned and drained
1 can each of dark red kidney beans, light kidney beans, and black beans, drained
1 medium onion, chopped
3 cloves of garlic, chopped
1/2 each of red and green pepper, chopped
1 cup sliced baby bella mushrooms (optional)
2 cans Rotel tomatoes with jalapenos
1 small can tomato sauce
3 Tbsp chili powder
2 tsp. ground cumin
salt and pepper to taste
If I prepare on the stove, I brown meat in a dutch oven, drain and return then add all the ingredients, stir, bring to a boil and simmer for 2 hours. If in a crock pot, add the browned and drained meat to the crock, then remaining ingredients. Cook on high for 4 hours or low for 6.
Oven Fried Fish
Prep: 10 minutes
Bake: 4-6 minutes per 1/2-inch thickness
Oven: 450
Makes: 4 servings
254 Calories
9g total fat (5g sat. fat),
75 mg chol
565 mg sodium
15 g carb
1g fiber
26 g protein!!!
1 pound fresh or frozen skinless cod, orange roughy, or catfish fillets (I used catfish)
1/4 cup reduced-fat milk (I used skim)
1/3 cup all-pupose flour
1/2 cup fine dry bread crumbs
2 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese (I used ff)
1/4 teaspoon lemon-pepper seasoning
2 tablespoons butter or margarine, melted (I used liquid This Can't Be Butter)
Fresh parsley sprigs (optional) (didn't use them)
Lemon wedges (optional) (didn't use them)
1. Thaw fish, if frozen. Rinse fish; pat dry with paper towels. If necessary, cut into 4 serving-size pieces. Measure the thickness of each piece. Place milk in a shallow dish. Place flour in another shallow dish. In a third shallow dish combine bread crumbs, Parmesan cheese, and lemon-pepper seasoning. Add melted butter to bread crumb mixture; stir until well mixed.
2. Grease a shallow baking pan; set aside. Dip fish in the milk; coat with flour. Dip again in the milk; dip in the crumb mixture, turning to coat all sides. Place fish in a single layer in prepared baking pan. Bake, uncovered, in a 450 oven for 4 to 6 minutes per 1/2-inch thickness or until fish flakes easily when tested with a fork. If desired, garnish with parsley and lemon.
2 lbs. ground turkey breast (or 95% lean ground sirloin), browned and drained
1 can each of dark red kidney beans, light kidney beans, and black beans, drained
1 medium onion, chopped
3 cloves of garlic, chopped
1/2 each of red and green pepper, chopped
1 cup sliced baby bella mushrooms (optional)
2 cans Rotel tomatoes with jalapenos
1 small can tomato sauce
3 Tbsp chili powder
2 tsp. ground cumin
salt and pepper to taste
If I prepare on the stove, I brown meat in a dutch oven, drain and return then add all the ingredients, stir, bring to a boil and simmer for 2 hours. If in a crock pot, add the browned and drained meat to the crock, then remaining ingredients. Cook on high for 4 hours or low for 6.
Oven Fried Fish
Prep: 10 minutes
Bake: 4-6 minutes per 1/2-inch thickness
Oven: 450
Makes: 4 servings
254 Calories
9g total fat (5g sat. fat),
75 mg chol
565 mg sodium
15 g carb
1g fiber
26 g protein!!!
1 pound fresh or frozen skinless cod, orange roughy, or catfish fillets (I used catfish)
1/4 cup reduced-fat milk (I used skim)
1/3 cup all-pupose flour
1/2 cup fine dry bread crumbs
2 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese (I used ff)
1/4 teaspoon lemon-pepper seasoning
2 tablespoons butter or margarine, melted (I used liquid This Can't Be Butter)
Fresh parsley sprigs (optional) (didn't use them)
Lemon wedges (optional) (didn't use them)
1. Thaw fish, if frozen. Rinse fish; pat dry with paper towels. If necessary, cut into 4 serving-size pieces. Measure the thickness of each piece. Place milk in a shallow dish. Place flour in another shallow dish. In a third shallow dish combine bread crumbs, Parmesan cheese, and lemon-pepper seasoning. Add melted butter to bread crumb mixture; stir until well mixed.
2. Grease a shallow baking pan; set aside. Dip fish in the milk; coat with flour. Dip again in the milk; dip in the crumb mixture, turning to coat all sides. Place fish in a single layer in prepared baking pan. Bake, uncovered, in a 450 oven for 4 to 6 minutes per 1/2-inch thickness or until fish flakes easily when tested with a fork. If desired, garnish with parsley and lemon.
Three days until MUSHIES!!!
Apr 04, 2008
I never thought mushies would be so appetizing to me! I cannot believe how much I cannot wait to semi-chew food. A month on liquids is one month too long! Then I am on mushies for 2 more weeks. I am then on solids I think for 1 day and I go for a fill. I guess that is a really good thing. Hmmm, might have to post that to see the responses on that. See, post fill I will go to liquids for 2 days, mushies for 2 and then solids Day 5. All so confusing!
Anyway, needed to get this recipe down because I will be making it next week and pureeing it:
1 T olive oil
4 med carrots chopped 1
sm. onion chopped
1 tsp. ground cumin
1 14 ounce can diced tomatoes
1 can 14 ounce vegetable broth (1 3/4 c.)
1 c dried red lentils
1 bag 5 ounce baby spinach.
In a 4 quart sauce pan, heat oil on medium till hot. Add carrots and onion, cook 6 to 8 minutes or until lightly brown and tender. Stir in cumin, cook 1 minute. Add tomatoes, broth, lentils, 2 cups water, 1/4 tsp salt and 1/8 tsp ground black pepper, cover and heat til boiling on high. Reduce heat to low and simmer covered 8 to 10 minutes or until lentils are tender. Stir in spinach. Makes about 7 1/2 cups. Each serving is 265 calories, 16 grams of protein, 41 g carbohydrates, 5 g fat, 13 g fiber, 0 mg cholesterol, 645 mg sodium
Anyway, needed to get this recipe down because I will be making it next week and pureeing it:
1 T olive oil
4 med carrots chopped 1
sm. onion chopped
1 tsp. ground cumin
1 14 ounce can diced tomatoes
1 can 14 ounce vegetable broth (1 3/4 c.)
1 c dried red lentils
1 bag 5 ounce baby spinach.
In a 4 quart sauce pan, heat oil on medium till hot. Add carrots and onion, cook 6 to 8 minutes or until lightly brown and tender. Stir in cumin, cook 1 minute. Add tomatoes, broth, lentils, 2 cups water, 1/4 tsp salt and 1/8 tsp ground black pepper, cover and heat til boiling on high. Reduce heat to low and simmer covered 8 to 10 minutes or until lentils are tender. Stir in spinach. Makes about 7 1/2 cups. Each serving is 265 calories, 16 grams of protein, 41 g carbohydrates, 5 g fat, 13 g fiber, 0 mg cholesterol, 645 mg sodium
Friday and feeling fine!
Mar 28, 2008
I have to say that I am amazed at the power of modern medicine! I feel very good. I have been having very little discomfort and have been moving around really well. My surgeon was the best. She is very cool. I liked her style completely. I would have her do it again in a heartbeat. I told her the experience was great and I really meant it.
So glad to be feeling good. Let's get this party started!
So glad to be feeling good. Let's get this party started!
I did it!!!!
Mar 25, 2008
Hear the Dora theme music playing? I am so proud of me for making this commitment to myself. I weighed in on Monday AM and I was 251.8. I weighed in this AM and I am 248.8. I know right now I am not eating anything so that is sure to change, but I am so proud right now.
The pain is minimal. I am more uncomfortable than in pain. The gas is fine. I can deal. I am sipping and walking like instructed. This has been a great process. I feel really good.
I LOVED Dr. Kurian, the surgical team, the hospital, and the entire nursing staff. I had a wonderful experience. You know what I realized? I had to wait to go in for 6 hours. Most people would be pissed. I wasn't because I was blessed. I saw my mom, my brother, my nephew, my "brother", my stepdaughter, and spent time with my husband and mother in law. My family was in the house. They were there to support me. They were there before I went in and until I went in. That made me feel strong. My family is the best. My brother had me cracking up. He didn't agree with the surgery so he said stuff like, "See your husband said nothing's wrong with you and your doctor said nothing's wrong with you (meaning my surgery should be an easy one) so you need to get up and get out of here." That was pretty funny. He is a mess. We had some good laughter up until it was time to go in.
I believe life is what you make it and I am making it the best ever. We all have the power to flip that switch. It is up to us to have a great life or one that is not so great. Mine is great now and getting greater every, single day! Thank you God!!!!
The pain is minimal. I am more uncomfortable than in pain. The gas is fine. I can deal. I am sipping and walking like instructed. This has been a great process. I feel really good.
I LOVED Dr. Kurian, the surgical team, the hospital, and the entire nursing staff. I had a wonderful experience. You know what I realized? I had to wait to go in for 6 hours. Most people would be pissed. I wasn't because I was blessed. I saw my mom, my brother, my nephew, my "brother", my stepdaughter, and spent time with my husband and mother in law. My family was in the house. They were there to support me. They were there before I went in and until I went in. That made me feel strong. My family is the best. My brother had me cracking up. He didn't agree with the surgery so he said stuff like, "See your husband said nothing's wrong with you and your doctor said nothing's wrong with you (meaning my surgery should be an easy one) so you need to get up and get out of here." That was pretty funny. He is a mess. We had some good laughter up until it was time to go in.
I believe life is what you make it and I am making it the best ever. We all have the power to flip that switch. It is up to us to have a great life or one that is not so great. Mine is great now and getting greater every, single day! Thank you God!!!!
Not the best of days
Mar 18, 2008
I was an emotional, PMS wreck today. I ate today. I really ate. I am not apologizing for it because it is what it is. I will do better tomorrow. PMS is kicking my A**! I also had some tough interactions today that just threw my Zen existence off. I hate when that happens.
Not weighing again until Monday AM...surgery day!
Mar 17, 2008
Although I will not be weighing myself, I will be measuring myself tonight to get my first numbers in. My pre numbers. Whomever suggested the measuring was very smart. The scale does not always tell you the truth so I hope the tape measure will. :-)
About Me
Location
33.8
BMI
Surgery
03/24/2008
Surgery Date
Oct 11, 2007
Member Since
