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APRIL 18,2005

Well, I was actually at one month on the 14th. Forgive me for being late. I am feeling like my old self and have been for a while now. I have been sleeping in the bed probably for.... two weeks? Maybe not quite. At first I was having trouble with it. I still am not sleeping as I did before, but it's the best I've had since surgery. I am on my tummy now but have to be careful during the night with my G tube. I'm looking forward to having it removed on the 20th. Two more days  yippeee!!

As far as food and weight loss... I don't "feel" as though I've lost anything. My clothes feel exactly the same. I'm sure I must be losing something... it just doesn't feel that way. I'm pretty big though. I'm sure I will have to lose quite a bit before it's visible.

I am supposed to be on full liquids still, but I am eating several things. Good things. But not liquid. I tollerate everything so far. Darn it. I was hoping I wouldn't be tolerant of fatty foods or sugars. I haven't tried sugar. but I have had things with sugar alcohol and so forth and it's all fine. Did pizza with no problem. I chew everything to a pulp and swallow it in small little swallows and take smaller bites. I also feel like I am able to eat larger portions than what I should be. Paranoia? Maybe. I'll let you know about my weight loss on Wed. Good night.

MARCH 26,2005

Feeling pretty good. Walking at the speed I had before surgery.. but I am able to walk longer now. It is nice to have the JP drain out. Not having to fiddle with that long tube and bulb and one less bandage.

That is one thing I've not seen anyone on here talk about yet. The bandages. I hate them! The tape tears up your skin! I have one that bled. Since my JP drain has been removed, I put a bandage on at night to protect it, but during the day.. and the site where the G tube is, I just leave open to the air.. It feels so much better. I'm not doing anything to get dirty and I wash them every day so.. I think it will be fine. It sure gives my poor skin a break.

Liquids are getting old.

MARCH 23,2005

*** -16 lbs. ***
My friend Felicia took me to my appt. today. When I got there.. Donna (fellow surgery patient) was already inside having her drain removed. When she came out.. she looked GREAT! It was nice to see her again.

After she left they called me in. They weighed me and took my vitals. I began at 411 lbs. and weighed in today at 396.6 which is pretty good for a week and a half!

MARCH 21,2005

I am feeling much better. I am able to get around alot easier, I'm walking faster. I am still sleeping on the recliner. I think I might continue to until I get the G tube out. I tried to lay on the bed this morning (on my side) and even though I was able to, it felt like all my insides were hanging down to the side with no support and there was alot of pulling. So I think I'll wait.

I've been on full liquids since the 17th. I have been eating pureed clam chowder, bean and bacon soup, baby food meats and vegetables (with salt, pepper and garlic powder), grits, oatmeal with margarine and sugar free syrup, pureed chilli with cheese on top and refried beans with cheese on top. I think the last two items are pushing the term "liquid" a little bit. But I have tollerated them well. Only bowel movements have not been moving as much as I would like... I think this may be why. I'll ask on my next appt.

I have had no nausea at all and feel very good. Most of the pain has been in my back and shoulder but it is not unbarable. I also feel like I have a "stitch" in my side. Like when you run too much and you get a cramp. This sharp pain goes all the way across the top of the abdomen at times.. No fun but again.. not unbarable. This has been major surgery and keeping that in mind... I feel this has been a walk in the park. Never have I felt like "What have I done to myself" or wished that I had not done this. Things will only get better from here. With the love and support of my family and God as well as His blessing.. how can I go wrong?

MARCH 15,2005

I had my surgery at 8:00 am. I was out by 9:50. When they woke me up I remember BACK PAIN. I was in recovery until 5:00 pm waiting for a room to open up. I remember I kept telling the nurse I really felt the need to get off my back. She tried to prop me with pillows best she could and gave me pain killers. The stomach part didn't bother me really at all. I slept off and on. Once I was in my room (private room yeaahh!).. I was able to sleep a little better which helped.

The next day I felt MUCH better. Still had back issues but nothing like the day before. I felt REALLY tired and wanted to sleep. I was awakened several times during the night and I just felt whipped. But sleep was not in the cards for me that day. There was appearantly lots to do. They came and got me in the morning for my leak test. The mixture they had me drink was very bitter. I didnt have any problems with wanting to throw it up or anything like that.. but it was very strong and bitter...:::shivers:::. They allowed me ice chips, but just a very tiny cup like what you would use to take cough syrup. And only one of those cups every hour. But they did have these nice minty mouth swabs.. very wet.. What a life saver they were!

I walked up and down the hallway a few times. Went down to the other end to see Donna S. who also had her surgery the same day. We visited back and forth as we were able. Once the leak test results came back (no leaks) they brought me some broth, sugar free jello and some juice. I tended to favor the juice. It was very good. Nothing made me nauseated however, I always felt full... or.. tight. Didn't want alot at all. I barely put a dent in it. They also had me use the restroom to make sure I was able to. Dr. Jawad came in and talked with me for a little while as did someone to teach me how to use the G-tube, a physical therapist and the nutritionist. I was finally released to go home at about 2:00 pm. They wheeled me down to the car and I had no trouble with pain on the way home. I'm getting sore so I'll update more later (this is all being typed on Wed. the 17th by the way.. I tried to do it yesterday but that was NOT happening).

Here is my "before" picture, as well as a couple taken at the hospital.

MARCH 10,2005

We got up at 6:00 am to leave here by 7:30 in order to arrive for our appt. at 9:00 am. When we got there, there was once again a group of people who were there for the same thing as I was. First a nutritionist came out and spoke to us. She gave us pointers and information on what was a good idea and what to stay away from. Then a physical therapist came out and talked to us about exercise and showed us a few we might want to try. Afterwards Dr. Jawad's surgical assistant came out. She spoke to us about the care of the G-tube and drain tubes etc.

She talked and talked and talked. A LOT of information to take in. They all gave us paperwork that pretty much stated what they had all covered, so whatever I missed in my note taking.. I have here in these papers. After she was finished, Dr. Jawad finally came out. He talked to us about the proceedure itself. History of the surgery and his own credentials and history as well. After that we were able to meet with him individually.

I was called in first. He felt my tummy and said to continue the liquid breakfast and lunch with a sensible dinner that I had been instructed to do and that was that.

After this, we went to the Ocala Regional Medical Center where I will be having my surgery. Here we registered as well as did my pre-op testing. They did a blood test, took a urine specimen, did an EKG and a chest X-ray. I saw the people that were at Dr. Jawad's with me and had opportunity to speak to a couple of them. One lady is having her surgery the same day as I am so we will no doubt run into one another while doing our hallway laps!

Once we did all of that, they gave me my intinerary and we left. I am to be back at the hospital at 6:00 am on Monday the 14th (four days from now). I should be in surgery by 8:00 am. He said it takes an hour and a half. I will write back after I have recovered a little bit and fill you all in.

MARCH 3,2005

1.)To reach all areas of my body. ***ACHIEVED***
2.)For my husband to put his arms all the way around me. ***ACHIEVED***
3.)For my husband to have me sit in his lap. ***ACHIEVED***
4.)For my husband to be able to carry me.
5.)Not to concern myself with everything I sit on.. wondering if I'll break it.
6.)To be able to fit in any seat.. anywhere. For example, I've always wanted to go to...
(a)Any movie theater. ***ACHIEVED***
(b)The opera.
(c)A ballet.
(d)To watch a sport.
(e)The circus.
(f)Ice Capades.
(g)Any restaurant. ***ACHIEVED***
(h)Airplane seats. ***ACHIEVED*** (but I still need an belt extension)
(ij)Amusement park rides.
(j)Seats at the community college.
(k)Any car.. & have room. ***ACHIEVED***
(l)Lobby seats,Dr.s office,Veterinarian's,Hospitals etc. ***ACHIEVED***
(m)Beauty salon chairs for haircuts and manicures/pedicures. ***ACHIEVED***
7.)To fit through a turnstyle. ***ACHIEVED***
8.)To wear a seatbelt. ***ACHIEVED***
9.)
(a)To shower without nearly passing out from exertion. ***ACHIEVED***
(b)To shower without having to sit down to wash my lower half.
10.)To walk freely and easily without heavy breathing. ***ACHIEVED***
11.)To not sweat buckets while doing next to nothing. ***ACHIEVED***
12.)To wake up without back pain, knee & ankle pain. ***ACHIEVED***
13.)
(a)To lie on my back and be able to breathe. ***ACHIEVED***
(b)To lie flat on my back (back touching mattress, not arched). ***ACHIEVED***
14.)To run. ***ACHIEVED***
15.)To jumprope.
16.)To roller/ice skate.
17.)To ride a bike.
18.)Canoe/Kayaking with my husband.
19.)Play frisbee. ***ACHIEVED***
20.)
(a)To spend the day walking through the mall,hiking trails or amusement parks... ***ACHIEVED***
21.)Do a cartwheel.
22.)Wear a bathing suit without being everyone's source of entertainment or horror.
23.)Buy clothes from a regular store and not from a fat lady catalog or plus size store.
24.)Wear clothing sizes without double digits or an "X" next to it.
25.)Wear high heels and be (fairly) comfortable.
26.)To carry a purse on my shoulder without it constantly falling off.
27.)To feel free to say "yes" to invitations from friends without having to concern myself with whether or not I can keep up with them or worrying about the accomidations meeting my needs. ***ACHIEVED***
28.)To feel as though I am not an embarassment to my family.
29.)To participate in my husband's "work parties". (Picnics etc)
30.)To not have rashes.
31.)Get a job. ***ACHIEVED***
32.)Ride a horse.
33.)Be able to use any toilet and not have to run home because I have to go. ***ACHIEVED***
34.)To be pretty and sexy for my husband.
35.)To be able to stand long enough to do simple tasks. ***ACHIEVED***
36.)To tie my shoes, put on socks. ***ACHIEVED***
37.)To reach up and out and bend over easily and without making my bra straps fall off, clothes twist, wrinkle and catch in every roll.
38.)To even just sit or simply "be" in clothes and not be uncomfortable. No position is ever comfortable.
39.)To DANCE!! ***ACHIEVED***
40.)To be able to sit on the floor and get up easily and gracefully.
41.)To be graceful period, and not always feel like a clod.
42.)To sit with my knees to my chest.. or in indian style.
43.)To lay in a hammock.
44.)Swing on a swing. ***ACHIEVED***
45.)Go down the slide (easily without getting stuck).
46.)To be able to withstand an exercise regime. ***ACHIEVED***
47.)To be able to choose clothes that suit my tastes and not just settle for what I can squeeze into.
48.)To look nice in a bathing suit that doesn't resemble a "hippo tutu".
49.)To polish my toenails. ***ACHIEVED***
50.)To squeeze into small places when neccesary.
51.)To be able to climb onto chairs or ladders.
52.)To no longer break toilet seats. ***SO FAR SO GOOD***
53.)To "swim" rather than "bob".
54.)To have a lap. ***MUCH BETTER***
55.)To not drop food on my chest when I eat or not have to hold the plate right under my chin (which looks piggy) to avoid dropping food on my shirts.
56.)To be able to wrap my arms around myself.
57.)To cross my legs.

To be cont.

FEBRUARY 27,2005

I spoke to my surgeon's office today and set up an appt. for my consultation with Dr. Jawad for March 10th. This is for my pre-op testing and all that good jazz. I'll fill you in on the details after that is all over. We also set up my surgery date for ::drum roll please::  tatatatatatatatata... MARCH 14, 2005!! Almost one year exactly since my initial appt. at Dr. Jawad's. I can't believe it.. only two weeks away! It's all moving so fast now that the icky part is over. Fine by me..

FEBRUARY 21,2005

I am so excited! I can't wait to get a surgery date! I have been dreaming about this for so long, I can't believe that things have finally gone my way...

On to a new life!

JANUARY 15,2005

I'm sorry that it has been so long since I've updated. I had a good dose of discouragement that lasted for a while.

I stuck it out with the diet. Went and had the required tests done. Everything came out the way it should. I had my sleep study done as well. (That was an experience!) It was determined that I do have sleep apnea. I now have a "CPAP" machine here at home.

It is safe to say...that the six month Dr. suppervised diet was EASILY the worst part of this so far! Not so much the "diet" itself. I constantly felt like I was running a race at full speed but always having to go backward because the Dr.s office and insurance company were always lagging behind. Obviously not feeling the urgency I FEEL regarding this surgery haha. Also there for a while I was concerned that my PCP and I were not on the same page. Now that I'm not in the middle of that any longer, I can see she had my best interests at heart. I just wasn't always convinced of that haha.

Needless to say my motivation and spirits took a great nosedive for a while. I did what I was supposed to do, but felt that I was getting nowhere. At any rate, I am now at the point where my paperwork has been submitted. It has now been three weeks. I haven't heard anything (they say this is normal up to 8 weeks) which makes me a little anxious.