May 13 - 139

May 13, 2009

I weigh 139 today.  I think I am an emotional eater.  I have been trying to eat and gorge to help me with my sadness but then I dump ... god it is almost like I am back in the early post-op days.  I was down to 137 but started taking some Optifast so I can at least get some protein in.

How long does it take for a broken heart to heal?  Damn him.  Why did he dump me?  I wish I could figure it out. I thought he was the one ... then I got side swiped ... from behind without any warning or hint that anything was wrong. 

I will take some time to heal but man I am not getting back on that horse again for a long time.  I am thinking, maybe it is all my loose skin he doesn't like.  Why do I continue to beat myself up over this? 

I keep hoping he will call and say he made a mistake but I shouldn't get my hopes up.  

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