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I only have a second. and i dont post very often so i thought i would talk a little about my anniversary trip.. My hubby and I are leaving today going to the Hatteras Islands in NC.. I am suuuuper excited... got some GREAT new dresses and such that make me feel AMAZING!!!..

I cant wait to get on the road and celebrate.. 13 years this year! whooohooo.  Its been a definate wild ride, tons and tons of ups and downs but I dearly love Nathan and thank God for him!!!

well, I had a dr appt the other day and had my labs done.. expecting to not hear anything, as usual,  I was slightly taken aback when the dr office called and said they needed to speak with me about my bloodwork..

My protein is too low/ i am anemic/ and my B vitamin is dropping(low side of normal).. All things that I know can happen. Just didnt expect them...and I have soooo much fluid in my feet and ankles it is not even funny.. It is thouroughly annoying me... I feel fine/ cept the fluid which makes me angry..cause i like my cute capris and skirts only my feet and ankles are jiggly and huge from the fluid.

I have an appt with my PCP next wed about the swelling and i am trying to eat more protein and going to stop and get some iron/vitamin B pills.

still at same weight!!! HUGELY FRUSTRATING... guess my potein intake is partially to blame for that one!...   

Anyways. you guys look absolutely wonderful, friends.. I dont get to update and check in often, but i think of you often.. Looking pretty good everyone!!!

Love and Prayers.

Michelle

Ok. if you knew me at all. You would know that my most favorite thing in the whole wide world to do is go camping.
I didnt think i was gonna get to go this year cause i was so sick and felt so bad... But since i feel WONDERFUL, we are headed out tomorrow morning and coming back monday..

I am SOOOOO excited, i am really trying not to look at the clock on the computer or the phone, but the day is dragging.. i am trying to stay busy here at work, but it is killing me!!!!

If you havent tried camping, you should.... I ADORE it and would go every weekend if i could!!

Well, I am a little over 3 months out and feeling great... I find myself looking in the mirror at work in the restroom lounge and just standing there in awe!!! I cant believe my eyes.. I keep looking and looking thinking-I can not believe that is me...  and sometimes i am saying that outloud to myself...

I am down to 240-which i NEVER thought i'd see again.. and wearing a size 18!!!!!!!! HOLY COW!!! i was 314lbs and in a size 28 before!!!!  Praise the Lord!!  I feel good about myself again.. I never thought that i would feel that again..  and i actually walk into a room now and dont look around to see if i am the fattest person in the room.. YAY!!

I am glad i had the surgery. my outlook has definately changed since i have gotten better.  anyways.. i will do my best to post a recent pic and my before pics soon... i have to find the cord to my camera or i guess get them on a disk at Wally World... nevertheless, i will try to do that soon... 

I got out of the hospital again last Tuesday, again potassium and nausia... After tons of prayers from prayer warriers and fighting something that i really didnt know i was fighting, i am fine!!

NO NAUSIA, and i can eat for the first time since FEB 9.    The LORD HEALED ME!!!!  I am soo thankful and feel so good that I just cant explain it.. my energy is back.  and it is wonderful to eat.. granted i am on soft foods, cause my stomach hasnt been used to anything except full liquids since Feb, and will be on softs for 2 more weeks, but HEY!!!!!  i am eating, right.. thats all that matters.  I am down 72 pounds total and am now feeling good about my weight loss (didnt care before-cause i was soo sick)... NOW its AWESOME!

thank you all soooooooo sooo much for the prayers.....

Thank you all for the loving comments on my last post.  This is my place to vent.  I am still having a hard time.  they put me on 2 different meds to try to help with the knott in my throat and the nausia.  the latest one, a antidepresent has helped with the knot in my throat but not the nausia.

I am on stage 3 foods.  stuff you can mash with a fork and moist meats. however i am so nausiated most of the time i cant eat.. it starts as soon as i wake up and start moving and i just cant wait to go to sleep that night just to get relief.  i eat maybe a yogurt a day or some days nothing.. i cant FORCE myself to eat.... i am sooo sick of this.  i just feel like i cant take it.  i cry so much, i am just tired of feeling sick and tired, and not being able to eat. i want to eat i really do.. my mom is convinced and fusses at me daily telling me that i am not eating on purpose, that i dont want to. i DO WANT TO. when i think about putting food in my mouth, even things i have always LOVED, it makes me sick to my stomach....

i eat a cracker in the morning. that helps most of the time for part of the day with the nausia but i do vomit 2 - 3 times a week just from being nausiated and gagging.  i have another appt with my surgeon on the 22nd.  i am sooo soo sick of feeling this way.

when i am not nausiated i am so scared to try something that i cant eat too. i am scared of getting really really sick from it... i hate that feeling and have been sick more that i care to admi t since i had the surgery.

Hello all. I know I am super bad about keeping in touch. i have read a few of your post s and for the most part it sounds like you all are doing pretty  well.'

I am scared all the time,. losing weight but not as happy about it as i thought.  I had a scare a week after surgery and was put in the hospital. turns out what they ruled out actually was true.  I did really good for a while, then the day  before i was to go back to work, my sister who is an RN, came over and told me something I knew.  That i was dehydrated, only it was a lot worse than i thought.  I hadnt been able to eat for a week or so prior to this, and wasnt holding down much of any fluid either.  She gave me some fluids, 3 liters, and it did nothing. my lips were sticking to my teath and my uriune was so concentrated it was burning me raw.

The next morning, sunday, March 8th, She really convinced me that I need to go to the hospital. I did. to our local hospital, knowing that  if something was wrong, they would have to ship me to the hospital where I had surgery  b/c they just dont deal with bypass there.  Well, i was still severely dehydrated after more iv fluids and my patassium was very low.  The surgeon on call new I was coming and they moved me to Roanoke.  More iv fluids thru the night and another upper gi (had my fill of those-3 so far) only this one they were studying the upper bowl too because i had been so sick.

Didnt hear anything that day.  My surgeon came in that night and told me that I would have surgery the next morning. that it looked like my  suchers that connected the small bowel to the pouch had come loose and some of my intestines had pushed up inside the other part of them and was causing a blockage.

Turns out he was right, and some of my bowel was kinked up and he had to straighten that as well.  I was back to square one, started my diet all over again and am on pureeds again after a week on only liquids.

Emotionally, i have NOT been ok.  I question myself everyday as to why i did this to myself. i am so scared that what happened will happen again. i got sick when i came home(congested and mess) and have been coughing my head off, i have constant burning and stinging under the skin on my upper stomach...... which has also made me crazy thinking i could have hurt myself again.

had surgery on my younger daughters 8th b-day and everything has hit me hard. i just want to cry most of the time, and if it werent for the Lord and prayer and trusting in him i would still be in the state i was when i came home from the hospital last  thursday--thinking i was going to die, every minute and freaking out about leaving my girls behind.

anyways.  i am moving slow and taking a day at a time.  still scared to eat most of the time and praying a lot.

sorry this is so long. i hope and pray you are all doing well.  God Bless you.

michelle

Hello all!  I have not been able to get to a pc, so sorry for the delay.  I am doing well.  Had a scare the sunday after surgery.  Was in a terrible amount of pain and had to go the er. they admitted me thinking i had a blockage in my intestines. but it turned out not. Thank the Lord!!  Anyways, thanks for all the prayers. Please continue to pray and I will continue to keep you in my prayers.

My comuter at home is down and i am not back to work yet so i dont get much chance to get to one.  Just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of all of you, and praying for you.

CONGRATS to us!!!  I go to the dr on wed.  i will try to check in after that and catch up!!

Michelle

I am probably not going to be back online till after surgery sometime, so i just wanted to say one last note to yall.  I am sooo happy to have met and got to talk to ya'll and share worries, info and fears.

I look forward to getting to share on everyones journey  and seeing all our successes.  You all are in my prayers.  God Bless and keep you.  And yall have to check the upcoming surgery page Feb 9ers... WE ARE ON THE LIST... i looked at it for years, just wishing to see me on there one day and IT HAPPENED!  that is so awesome!!

Ya'll take care and thank you sooo much for the prayers and support.  you have become a vital part of my journey and i appreciate you all greatly!

Only 7 more days!!! I cant believe it.. I wish I could just wish away the days and today would be Feb 9th..... I am sooo SUPERstoked and ready...

After several  VERY EMOTIONAL days I am finally over all that and am just wanting it to get here already.  I do think my liver shrink diet is getting a little easier now.. doesnt seem as hard at supper time and I am not hungry at all during the day which is good.

I went Friday and got all my food for post op and new p.j.'s and all the neat little kitchen goodies they said we would need. Also got all my over the counter meds and dropped off my scripts for afterwards.  BTW, you should have seen me picking out baby food fruit.. My hubby, Nate, got so tickled at me! He just cracked up... I kept seeing something that sounded good, CAUSE I WAS STARVING, and going--OMGsh -STRAWBERRY BANANA!!  OOOOHH- MANGO... OH NATE LOOK, THEY HAVE APPLESAUCE..  I know, right.. I am a nut... but it was like I have never seen such good looking and sounding things before.. Even though I have 2 daughters and have done all the baby food jazz before.. it was different and wonderful... Needless to say I probably have enough baby food fruit to last me 6 weeks or so... ha ha ha.