Modified

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

IT'S ALIVE!!!... Sort of....

Yeah, so needless to say I've not been around. I got back from Europe in July and literally haven't had a moment to myself until today. A few things of note have happened:

#1 - I went to see my doc to talk about my weight. I brought up the subject but chickened out when it came to actually talking about surgery. He's big into exercise being the only real solution. Plus I haven't gone to see him since high school, so I feel as though showing up out of the blue asking for him to consider it was just going to get me blown off. Now that I actually live int he same city as he does I'll make more appointments to see him regularly and then hopefully I'll grow a pair.

#2 - Europe was FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC! I loved just about every second over there. It has created a small problem though... I am no undoubtedly unsatisfied with living this domestic, fuzzy, "safe" life that just seems to excrete from every nook in the Maritimes. I need adventure... I really do... Though I'm not sure how to actually go about it. Especially with a post-graduate debt load...

#3 - Me = Unemployed. I have no idea what I want to do with my life. Joy. Where I live doesn't exactly provide me with a butt load of opportunities either. Mum is still trying to convince me that the whole teaching thing will work out. I keep telling her that no. It won't. I don't blame her for trying though. She saw me put a lot of time and effort into this and doesn't want to see me struggling. That being said, I don't think I've ever struggled with anything like this before. She's always taken care of it for me in one way or another. So really, I think I just need to struggle... Even if it means living in her basement for the next year.

^^^ That is my calendar for the rest of my internship. That also happens to be the reason why I hate life right now!!

18 days left.... 18 days left.....

EEEEEE!!! I got this big award this past weekend at the year end banquet for RA's, Don's and house committees. I was one of four recipients, two of which were Dons. Its a pretty big to do around campus, when you're up against about 150 other ResLife staff. It was a huge surprise too! I was expecting it to go to one of my team mates, so I was razzing on him pretty hard when my Don went to give his speech. Needless to say I was floored when I heard my name. Since my Dad died my Don's been the closest thing to a father figure. The things he had to say made me bawl!!!

It made my year without a doubt. I'm still all giddy about it!

that being said I'm really sad that I'm leaving a place that I've come to call my second home. Especially when I think of all the people I'm going to leave behind. Truly some of the best people anyone could ever care to meet.

So I've really started to notice that I eat when I am stressed out. I'm really not liking my internship and have decided that I don't want to follow that career path after grad, so really i'm just going through the motions in order to finish. Because I'm really not enjoying it, I'm finding the "after-hours" work that much more stressful and less pleasant. I also tend to do my work in the Student Union Building which is filled with student shops and fast food places. As I work late into the night I tend to eat more sweets and drink more coffee. (case in point; I just finished a venti tripple shot starbucks coffee. My first of the night, I'm sure.)

I'm just sad that I've still got 7 weeks left in my internship. Especially since I know that I will be getting so little sleep because of it! Oh well... 7 more weeks... then I can pick up my degrees and be done with this.

So I've been talking to a few friends about the fact that I want WLS. One of my closest friends (known her for 10 years) was actually a lot more supportive than I thought she would be. She's a worrier so I thought she would panic and try to convince me not to. To my surprise, she asked some smart questions, which I was able to answer, and then she said, "Go for it!" I'm still nervous as hell to tell my Mum about it, but I've decided that when we meet for lunch this Sat I will tell her that I want to make an appointment with our family doctor to ask about a referral.

In other news, I can tell that I'm actually very serious about this since I have noticed little changes (and one big) in the way I act and think throughout my day. I look at the food I'm eating and debate whether I will be able to eat it as often if I have surgery, what bad habits of mine will I have to break (aka driving EVERYWHERE) and most importantly, I've quit smoking! Now I was maybe smoking a pack every three weeks, but it's been had giving up a smoke or two a day anyway. I quit for various reasons, but the final push came from the possibility of getting surgery and knowing that if I quit it would help hasten my recovery time.

Anyway, It's getting late where I am and I still have a lot of work to do before work tomorrow, so I'm going to head out. Night.