not having a good day, emotionally

May 07, 2013

This morning I had my first apt with my cardiologist and ecg test. My heart seems to be fine :) and my cardiologist gave me his blessing to progress towards surgery. On the other hand the weather suits my mood, gloomy. Not about the test really. I missed my boyfriend's (of almost 5yrs) certificate luncheon today for his college graduation. That's one thing that made me sad. I'm not really sure what in the world is wrong with me! I'm just very emotional today, like I'm on the verge of tears all day. Lots of thoughts were going through my head while I waited 30 minutes to get called back to my appointment. I still have told very few people about my interest in surgery. One person I told a month or so ago decided to blurt out "don't you think you're taking the easy way out"...while intoxicated. Is losing over 100 pounds going to be easy ANY way i go? Hell no! This is what I feared, people looking down on me. This is why I keep it all to myself for the most part. Because I just don't need the negativity. Ugh. I know what I've decided is right for me. I just want to either cry out punch people in the face when they throw that crap at me! I deserve the chance to be thin and healthy too! I just needed to vent...

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